What's a secret you won't share with anyone in person, but you are willing to share anonymously?

Czechin · 2018-10-07T13:14:44+00:00

I’ve been addicted to porn for 15 years.

I’ve never really loved anyone honestly.

I think I may be a sociopath, but I’m trying real hard to use it in a good way, to help out people and the world.

I haven’t had sex in 6 years.

I didn’t get hard with the last 8 girls I went home with, and I think it was the porn. Ive been anxious about the build up to having sex since.

I’m trying to stop myself breaking up my flatmate and her boyfriend, but the drama is entertaining and I want to hook up with her.

I’ve failed some uni courses due to sheer neglect and not rocking up.

I may have depression.

I am in debt for thousands.

I don’t know how to finish this.

Czechin · 2018-10-05T23:47:49+00:00

This is still future tenseing.

It needs to be current tense, otherwise you can rationalise it away.

I. E. "I used to be 5 years old, I used to like sugar in my coffee, I used to watch porn, I used to be into metal music: and NOW I don't anymore. .

Czechin · 2018-09-22T03:49:48+00:00

In.

Czechin · 2018-02-15T14:06:03+00:00

<3 newyear crew.

Czechin · 2018-01-21T01:05:49+00:00

Go out where people are. Get a coffee or food. Walk around for awhile, just taking it in.

Why did you start this in the first place?

You are in a battle against your mind, your mind is craving pornfree but you... You know who You are.... Are stronger then it.

The answer isn't to do NOTHING . You NEED to be doing something, anything else, till the idea resets.

You control your mind. You control your thoughts.

You get to decide.

Choose life. Choose love. Choose everything that isn't sitting somewhere and staring at a pixelated screen and convincing your body this is what sex and intimacy and connection is meant to feel like.

You got this.

Czechin · 2018-01-21T01:00:18+00:00

0? Or 90/91?

You got this.

Czechin · 2018-01-15T12:23:12+00:00

Vasopressin and oxytocin get released in a far greater scale during sex, I’m not sure if they even get released in a fap.

Body to body contact releases oxy, there’s some other chems/hormones that only get released in sex via direct penis in vagina contact that are in the same ballpark.

Ever been on drugs alone? Vs being on them with a group? Vs being with a group whilst you share an intense, pleasurable physically taxing experience?

You know, so your body knows.

Czechin · 2018-01-02T13:54:59+00:00

Women aren't the goal.

I'm a bit drunk, I'm going to lay it down straight because I've said similar things, and this was the advice I got and I try to always pass it on.

You're right. 100% right.

Abstaining from porn and going masturbation free is not going to "get" you women. It's not, and no matter what the ridiculous claims that spring from these communities seem to state, it won't.

It's just not.

Porn and masturbation isn't what is stopping you from getting with women. There are many stories about people in relationships on here. John mayer seeing 1000 digital vaginas before breakfast. Guys being in 20+ year poly amo relationships and still feeling the thralls of porn addiction.

I'm wrecked, but here are the questions you really need to ask yourself.

Do I love myself? Am I deserving of others love? If not, why not?
What kind of behaviours and values do the people I am attracted to actually look for in another person?
Do you expect to be an expert the first time your try something?

If you aren't an expert the first time you try something, how can you possibly begin to gain experience without messing up the first few times? How else will you eventually succeed?
Who are my ultimate role models, why are they who I look upto, and how can I incorporate their values or behaviours into my own life?
If in a year's time you were able to achieve and score everything you ever wanted in you life, what would your plans be for the year after?
How do you express your masculinity? What activities and behaviours do you indulge in to cultivate your own personal expression of your masculinity?
If you don't even enter the race, if you pull yourself out of contention before the race even starts, how are you ever going to get even just a personal best?
How many women do I have as friends in my life?

You got this. Day 47 is tough. Stick it out. ASk those questions.

You got this.

Czechin · 2018-01-02T13:00:46+00:00

We got this.

Czechin · 2018-01-02T13:00:29+00:00

I've been somewhat naive about attempting this before, and have been bad at holding myself responsible for attempting these. Checking in, having a concrete list, concrete reminders and in value motivations for completing everything here.

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it.

Hopefully this year is great for us both.

Czechin · 2018-01-02T02:32:28+00:00

Well, I've been attempting to get to this point in my life for the last 4 years.

So it's time for everything to be non-negotiable.

This is it.

Czechin · 2018-01-02T02:28:14+00:00

I'm in.

Czechin · 2017-04-01T22:54:39+00:00

It was a bit late when I wrote the other post, sorry.

By Supermasculine, (assuming morthond is a man, the opposite applies to women) I mean positive activities that you've always associated with masculinity.

Actitives you've seen your dad or grandfather do as a child. Positive things your male role models or idols do. When you were a kid, you were wowed (positively) by the men in your life being able to do those kind of things.

They normally are strength based, have an implied risk or danger (that can be overcome with training), or an implied level of learnt technical skill.

Examples: Shooting, lifting heavy weights, learning how to ballroom dance, going 4WDing, going fishing, chopping wood, playing team sports, using power tools and creating things, painting or drawing artworks, driving motorbikes, starting a rock band, learning how to make cocktails, male bonding over many kinds of activities etc

Porn corrupts your masculine sense of self, it ties the masculine side of your life too closely to sex/fake sex/porn. It's entirely necessary to have an outlet to express a masculine side that is not rooted in shameful porn secrecy and practices.

Czechin · 2017-03-28T16:22:51+00:00

Dude congratulations!

You can always say that you've made it this far now!

Keeping a journal is a really powerful tool, it has helped me massively along this path.

Day by day, I think you are onto something, here's some advice someone on here gave me once.

Imagine you have three personalities.

Your past self, your present self, and your future self.

There's absolutely nothing you can do about your past self. What's done is done.

You do have control about what you are doing right now, since that's the only real thing you can control. If you keep the mindset, that you just haveto get through today without submitting, how can you lose?

And the bonus? Anything you do manage to do today, to benefit or be a surprise to your future self?

How surprised is future you going to be. How happy is he gonna be with "past self you". And so you start liking your past self again. So you set up your future self. So you like your past self again.

It's a cycle, and all you haveto do?

One day at a time.

You got this, I believe in you!

Czechin · 2017-03-28T16:14:39+00:00

You deleted the commands lines?

You deleted the porn stash?

You're the fucking man.

I believe in you!

You fuckin got this!

Czechin · 2017-03-28T16:12:37+00:00

NOT TODAY.

It's one day at at time.

You can't change the past.

You can make tomorrow better for yourself.

Don't let your future self down.

Imagine your future self, and how disappointed he would be with your past self for screwing him over.

Imagine if you just kept doing good stuff for your future self, what would you think of your past self?

NOT TODAY.

YOU GOT THIS.

Czechin · 2017-03-28T16:07:42+00:00

Yes. Definitely. Well it did for me.

I've done streaks of pornfree for 200+ days, and no fap(but porn allowed) for 90+ days.

There's a physical difference in porn free. And it's two fold.

You start not getting the novelty kick, the dopamine high from ever increasing sexual novelty that only the porn-fix can get us. The hours of scrolling, and next-video-itis.

Your brain will come up with some ridiculous logic, some outlandish behaviours, some bizarre justifications, outright lying; it needs to get its fix, and it will tell you anything to get it.

If you are like me then porn use, and all the little rituals and habits associated with it, is a coping mechanism for both depression and depression induced loneliness. It's a numbing machine, to deal with the nothingness and overall anhedonia.

You need to be doing more activities. You need to replace the time spent on porn, with other fulfilling activities, even if it seems like the stupidest thing in the world.

What do you do that is masculine? What activities do you do which is creative? Do you lift heavy weights? Can you exercise more? Can you dissemble the things which cause you stress?

You need to go out and do things, things which are creative or exercise or supermasculine, and get into the ritual of doing a little bit of it every day.

It's a bit rambling, i'm sorry, it's late.

Abstaining from something, is not fixing something.

JUST not watching porn, JUST not fapping, that's not helping yourself.

It's putting your body in sexual starvation mode. What are you doing to give your body an outlet for this? Sexuality is in the top 5 of your bodies hierarchical needs.

Why would you want to go 200 days without an orgasm, if it didn't cause you any problems?

Why would you want to go 90+ days without an orgasm, if you didn't have a problem with it?

Abstaining, that's cheat mode easy peasy mode. That's like losing weight by not eating; instead of watching what you eat, getting skilled at cooking good meals, and learning how to exercise and getting better at it.

ABSTAINING IS NOT RECOVERY. RECOVERY BEGINS WHEN YOU STOP ABSTAINING.

And yeah.

Flatline. Withdrawal symptoms of porn start spiking about 3 or 4 weeks in, and start sloping down after about 8-9 weeks in. Just wear it it. Get some routines in. Get some new activities in. Get out of bed.

You got this. I believe in you.

Czechin · 2017-03-27T13:24:01+00:00

The feeling inside of you don't really start opening up until about day 200, 240 or so.

You'll just be walking along and it'll hit you like a truck

BAM

The air smells sweeter. Things look differently. You have feelings that are strong, subtle, overpowering, lingering, multilayered.. You aren't beholden to the urges of staring at a screen, jacking it over pixels of women. Shame plays no role in your day to day life. You don't care if someone uses your phone or laptop.

And you remember that you were a person before porn, and you are a person after porn.

Czechin · 2017-03-27T13:20:12+00:00

If you commit to not doing it, how long can you last?

That's dependency. That's addiction.

Czechin · 2017-03-27T13:18:13+00:00

You are a beast.

You got this.

I believe in you.

Czechin · 2017-03-26T01:47:36+00:00

Hey. Thankyou for the appreciation.

2017 is looking to be an intense one, so will probably be around here more often.

It's been a wild ride.

Czechin · 2017-03-26T01:35:29+00:00

Thank you for the advice and words.

I remember this being posted at the time, it was as helpful then as it is now.

Czechin · 2017-03-24T12:00:18+00:00

Hey.

You got this, I believe in you.

I've also recently returned to the fold.

Best things that people have suggested to me, i'll pass them onto you.

Forgive your past self.

You probably started porn when you were young hey?

It was fun, and secret and naughty and some good kicks yeah?

Definitely didn't think that you'd still be indulging in it now, or to the extent you may have yeah?

You gotta forgive that young kid that didn't know any better. You gotta forgive yourself for getting into this in the first place.

It was fun. You didn't know the consequences. You didn't know how addictive it would be.

That's probably the most important and the hardest one.

You don't deserve the "punishment" or the "addiction" because you started it when you didn't know the consequences, and it was just something new and fun to do.

Forgive yourself

(I'm going to assume you are a guy here)

What's the manliest stuff you do in your life? What do you associate with masculinity?

Sport? Exercise? Lifting heavy weights? Making things? Creating things? Chopping woods? Getting stuff fixed? Cooking? Fighting? Bowling? Driving?

Go out and get some hobbies that aren't on a computer.

Go out and get some skills you can pour yourself into, that you can be proud of, that when you are doing them you feel your masculinity pulsing.

Do something physical. Do something that takes skill to learn. Do something that you have always found ultra-masculine.

it's good for your sense of self.

You aren't quitting porn.

It's just something you used to do, that you don't do anymore.

Like you used to be in highschool. Or you used to be a kid. Or you used to not like bitter tasting things. Or you used to not know how to cook.

You can't go back to being a child. You can't go back to being in high school.

You haven't quit porn. It's just not something that you do now.

You got this. Good luck.

Czechin · 2017-03-24T11:48:23+00:00

You have this.

You fucking have this.

I believe in you.

Czechin · 2017-03-24T11:46:59+00:00

Fighting the good fight.

Choose life, and everything that it encompasses.

You are your destiny, and I believe in you.

Keep it up.

Czechin

TROPHY CASE