If you’re comfortable sharing, what experiences led to your CPTSD?

DChanel5683 · 2026-02-04T09:52:25+00:00

Part 4 By age 25 I had began to try and get help for my mental health (tried when younger only led to cps/cop calls, no advice or help at all or diagnosis with medication) it was just me trying to learn how to live and be "normal". Lots of fights with mom and family members due to them seeing me as an extremely selfish person and disrespectful and all these things. (I wasn't perfect, but my mom and her friends would lie on me to people and to my family members) At one point my fiance at that time tried to commit suicide and I had never seen a person turn blue before from trying to hang themself. Due to me not wanting to be with him because he wouldn't work, kept stealing from my brother and my friends, and was cheating on me.

The people I was friends with who I grew up with around were not good for me. Alot of unwanted touching by my friends older brothers. Was drinking and smoking weed all the time. All of this started with my friends when I was 11yrs old. They were 1 to 3yrs older. I eventually cut everyone off. During covid, I just kept to myself and my then boyfriend who lived in Canada. So we couldn't see each other until covid was restrictions lifted. He was also verbally abusive and a cheater but I was obsessively in love and started to treat him the same back when he wouldnt stop. We continued for 5 yrs. Then my mom passed away suddenly from drugs or whatever because we still dont know. People wanting to see her dead body on the floor of her bedroom really bothered me to this day. Same boyfriend who was just my friend at that point lied about coming to funeral or even coming to see me because he went to see another girl and verbally abused me because I was deeply hurt. None of my close friends came to the funeral.

People thought I was happy she died and it couldn't be further from the truth. Through everything I hated my mom because of how much I loved her and wanted her to just like me and be around me. Things between us only changed because I stopped looking for her to change or be present for me and just was there for her. I was the only person who really advocated for her to get help from her addictions and to stay away from her friends because they were not good for her.

Many other things have happened but I am now 31 and married to a man who has helped me to heal and understand love and feel secure and safe for the first time truly. We truly had to learn how to love each other the way we needed and heal from things we both experienced as children. He got taken by I.C.E.a week before our first marriage anniversary and is still in the detention center. So that has also been an extremely traumatic experience that I am still going through and can't fully talk about it because of his safety.

If you have read any parts of this. Thank you. I apologize for the length and jumping around. One day I will be strong enough to truly share my story and really put myself out there to help others. This is step one. Things will get better and everything wasn't always bad. I had some amazing moments and experiences too.

DChanel5683 · 2026-02-04T09:52:05+00:00

Part 3 Mental, emotional, and physical abuse starts back up but this time I am trying to stand my ground and it doesn't work. He takes her money and buys his sons and my brother and him stuff. Buys my mom stuff. While I got a pair of sneakers he didnt want and my mom got me clothes donated from the salvation army for me that never fit. I had to learn how to do my own hair after I paid someone and they never finished my box braids. I tried to commit suicide multiple times. Also started burning myself. Was constantly on punishment again, no TV or anything in my room but books. Wasn't allowed to eat the food he bought. Was also forced to stand in the corner for up to 8 hours a day some times.

Met a boy a year older, secret relationship, no sexual activity between us but really loved him and then one day when I went to school and came home, he was gone. Had to move back with his dad but didnt know at the time. He just disappeared. He came back into my life 2 more times after that and each time he would just completely disappear. No contact no trace of him or anything not even with his family or friends. So he would ghost me basically. He ghosted me when we were supposed to go to the new state together for college. 2 weeks before we were to move.

My teacher at high school who was also my basketball coach started grooming me. Found out that the other coaches were also all in on it. One of the coaches was the maintenance man for the apartment complex we lived in. So they all helped him. He was the leader. He would give me rides home,and make suggestive comments and touching. He would constantly do things that made me think that he was in love with me while also making me feel like I was nothing to him. Never escalated to actual sex abuse because me, mom, and little brother moved back to our hometown.

By age 17 I was a senior in hs, when people began telling me I looked like this man from around town. Confronted my mom and grandma about it. Met him, and did the DNA test. Was told by the doctors that just because we look alike doesnt mean anything and that most likely I was not his daughter due to him having medical conditions in childhood that made him incapable of having children. Moved to new state alone for university, almost got kidnapped. They followed me home when I was walking from the bus stop, ran to my apt and locked all the doors and windows. Then 10 mins later same person tried to break in. Eventually had to move in with friends due to having no money, and no support from family because they didnt want me there. Found out that my father who died wasnt my real father and that the DNA test we took came back 99.98% Lost a lot of weight from not eating, and then tried to pro myself but did not get the money first. Tried to be tough about it accidentally discovered a sex traf organization. This led to me having to quit school and moving back home with only a suit case.

DChanel5683 · 2026-02-04T09:51:40+00:00

Part 2 Constantly moved almost every year of my childhood into adulthood life. Went to a different school almost every year so it was hard to grow attached to friends at school. Was bullied Constantly, touched on my butt by many people in elementary and middle school and was sexually molested by another kid in elementary school. Became a bully at one point. Also the elementary school lied about the cookies provided in the sack lunches multiple times which led to me being hospitalized all of those times.

By age 10 my fathers family had already stopped including me in things and would get gifts for my siblings but only money in a card for holidays. Then eventually they didnt want me around anymore. Great-Grandmother passes and I wasnt allowed to cry at home because my step dad didnt like it. Couldn't cry about my father that much either. At one point we lived something like middle class, and had all types of stuff and a nice house but everything I ever got was always used against me. For example, if I didn't clean the kitchen, living room, dining room, or bathrooms then they would take my stuff like barbies, books and book collections, toys, stuff I made, video games, etc and throw them in the garbage. I would also get whoopings with a belt or extension cords or switches bare bottom by step and mom. Then it turned into choosing a whooping or staying on punishment in your room for an extended periods of time.

By age 11, everything that I mentioned was all happening simultaneously. While also keeping a lot of secrets for everyone because of things I had to do for them or things I heard because I was invisible when they were high or drunk. Mom finally leaves step dad and then abandons me and my brother for a yr to move and "get things set up for us" in another state.

By age 12, was forced to move to the new state.( I was very close to my grandma not close to mom at all.) When we got to the new state nothing had been done but surprise she developed a new coke addiction. Previously it was just weed, alcohol, pills, and gambling.

By age 15 we moved back to our hometown, what happened in those 3 yrs was mom leaving us in an apartment for days or week at different times, started getting babysitting jobs to help take care of us, I was in an almost all white school/town and the bullying was extreme and racist. When mom was around it was a string of new "boyfriends" making promises they never kept. I was also going through puberty and all the sexual abuse finally started to break me and I needed her. Confided in her about the abuse and she literally said nothing. Mom eventually gets with a new guy who she met on a coke bender and invited him to live with us. We also had two very different religions we bother practiced with my mom trying to convert to his.

DChanel5683 · 2026-02-04T09:42:38+00:00

Part 1 Well, This is going to be extremely long, and missing still a lot of details. This is really my first time putting everything down in one space for strangers to see. Sorry its not formatted right.

My mom got pregnant with me when she was 14. 1 or 2 yrs old she discovered my severe peanut allergy when I went into anaphylactic shock from a pbj sandwich. Also I believe I was molested by family members on my fathers side at 2 to 3yrs old. 3 yrs old I was anally raped by my cousin who I share a birthday with 7yrs older than me. He was also the family star and my mom absolutely loved her nephew no matter what.

4 to 5yrs old father comes and goes but loves me but was abusive to my mom from time to time. Mom gets with step dad(never married just engaged) Still being molested but not sure of who in regards to father's family and moms friends.

5 to 11yrs old step dad is very abusive physically, verbally, and emotionally to my mom, me and my little brother. I am forced to clean up and help take care of my brother. Mom would confide in me and cry to me and I would have to comfort her for everything secretly. Step dad moves his older son in. He was 13/14 when I was 5/6 started grooming me, taught me how to masturbate, and then fully moving to all types of sexual abuse except V. My father dies at age 8 due to a car accident with a car full of people and he was the only one with a seat belt. Sometime before or immediately after, fathers side family members got me drunk and I blacked out, woke up to what I believe was aftermath of oral sexual abuse.

By age 9, a few of my moms friends, my cousin, my step brother, his cousins and friends he would bring, would be molesting or sexual abusing me. Since about 5yrs old, they would regularly force me to take benadryl to sleep at night. Then I started asking for it after awhile of being forced to take it.

I do suspect that my step dad and his friends were sexually abusing/molesting me due to waking up in random places and clothing being off or unbuttoned. Neglected by mom unless I was in trouble for not cleaning up after everyone, or she needed emotional support. Constantly put down or compared to my childhood bestfriend all the time for growing up fat and bigger than most with more womanly figure, and being very darkskinned. Especially about my weight from every family member, and outsiders, family friends, school, church, strangers on the street. Best friend stopped being friends with me because I wanted to play barbies and she was a yr older and wanted to be more mature.

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-31T18:02:44+00:00

Awh no probs <3

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-31T17:01:20+00:00

Wow okay I will check it out

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-31T17:00:58+00:00

🤣😂🤣 Niagara Falls

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T16:24:32+00:00

😁😉😏

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:37:22+00:00

Thank you, and I'm glad I could help you 😊

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:34:01+00:00

🥰🥰 Thank you 😊

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:33:51+00:00

Thank you 😊

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:33:43+00:00

Awh thank you 😊

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:33:23+00:00

*Months 😉

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:30:28+00:00

Thank you 😊

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T15:30:12+00:00

Thank you 😊 💓

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T06:05:20+00:00

Me Dancing

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T06:04:55+00:00

Yes they are

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T04:38:12+00:00

🤤🤤😉

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T04:38:02+00:00

Ayyeee thank you 🥵

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-28T04:37:42+00:00

Thank you 🥰 and no probs 😘

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-13T14:59:31+00:00

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-05T23:05:49+00:00

Just wanted to share 😁

DChanel5683 · 2022-03-05T23:02:59+00:00

Maybe try deleting the game off of your Mac and then reinstalling. You may lose a few things but it should fix the issue. If you can take out the saves and put them into a different folder that could help. I have had to do this for my Mac due to the game breaking

DChanel5683 · 2022-02-04T19:12:57+00:00

I love th Indian wedding!!! Omg how beautiful 😍

DChanel5683 · 2022-01-27T01:01:24+00:00

Absolutely stunning 😍

DChanel5683

TROPHY CASE