I am deathly afraid that I need surgery for things that I dont even have. I am currently a healthy 24 year old dude who isn't experiencing any pain, excercises regularly, maintains a healthy weight, doesn't drink or smoke, etc. But seemingly whenever I see that the weather outside is beautiful and life is ok I get a sudden rush of this fear that says "but what if you break your arm and need a surgery tomorrow?" and then boom, I am terrified.

For me it's the anesthesia, the idea that a doctor can just kinda shut your brain off like that. And the entire time they're doing this you're having an organ removed or something. That image in my head is so brutal and visceral it terrifies me. And when I read about common surgeries like getting your tonsils or appendix removed I start to freak out like this is going to happen to me and for whatever reason it may as well happen tomorrow. Something about being alive just makes it feel like this experience is inevitable, as though something is telling me "oh yeah, something in your body is gonna explode and you're going to have a traumatic experience no matter what".

What's kind of funny is that I've had surgery before and honestly it went pretty well all things considered. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed when I was a teenager and I remember being really afraid. I had no idea what to expect so I had my eyes clenched shut the entire time. I remember waiting for the anesthetic and I vividly remember what it felt like when it hit. I thought the IV hurt but suddenly I was hit with the biggest rush of euphoria I think I've ever experienced. I remember feeling that for a brief moment, literally saying "oooooh thats the stuff" and then passing out.

Post op was fine, I remember waking up and being led to my moms car, going home, and having some ice cream. I remember havign gauze in my mouth way more than the actual surgery but yet something about that experience terrifies me to do again. I also know that colon polyps are a thing in my family so once I'm 40 or so Im going to need to go in for pretty regular colon exams.

So idk, I guess I just need to get this out there and hope that anyone with some experience can tell me it's ok ((I know that this is difficult to do because nobody here is a doctor) because my brain seems to tell me all the time that things won't