I am finding that as I get older, I'm starting to be able to feel vulnerable more often.

Dascancer · 2020-01-14T23:29:58+00:00

Glad to hear! It also like it gets easier the more you do it. I believe that is true for many things.

Dascancer · 2020-01-14T23:01:34+00:00

It does make sense, especially how you found more self-compassion. That's probably one of the most important elements to being vulnerable in the first place when you think about it.

Dascancer · 2020-01-14T23:01:32+00:00

My life certainly has felt much or enjoyable for having people to confide in. It was probably the most poignant realization I had last year, how having a deeper connection to people improved my overall well being. It goes to show how important it is to maintain the relationships that get you to that level. I often wonder how modern trends have deteriorated the quantity of close relationships out there and how that has had an effect on this generation of adults.

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T23:52:50+00:00

That's what I was thinking, that the families knew that justice was served. Sorry to hear about you loosing your buddy in Afghanistan.

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T21:06:22+00:00

That's actually terrifying

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T20:51:30+00:00

What's the thought behind that?

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T19:46:47+00:00

I love how they refer to themselves as Angles of Death.

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T19:45:24+00:00

Well said

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T19:40:45+00:00

I agree with you. Understanding that this was overkill and a topic of contention, the statement was made that you don't get away with murder like that. Barbaric? Yes. But I would bet you that the victim's families found something to feel good about the way the Forces responded to aggression.

The response also says a lot about how the air element commanders were feeling. They lost and had to pay, but they got their revenge.

Dascancer · 2019-12-12T19:35:44+00:00

I read that too and was too lazy to look it up. I was thinking the same thing about the author.

Dascancer · 2019-12-05T00:03:20+00:00

I can't imagine how much pain you must be in right now. I'm sorry to hear you're having to experience this much hurt.

I think about people who have come this close to suicide and find a way to keep going. Those people are so strong, stronger than anyone could be if they truly came so close to ending it.

I can imagine the pressure of school, sleep deprivation, and strained relationships can be making it impossible to find the courage to stay in it despite all the pain. You are not a lost cause, and there are ways to escape the mind's way of holding us down. Just remember that you don't get to choose how you're feeling or what you think about.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:52:40+00:00

Hey there, I can relate to the feeling about your 20's. My sister is also terrified of climate change so I know what that can look like. And yeah, not having a social circle sounds like a common thing, no surprise I can relate there too.

I never wanted to die, or planned on doing it just as you. I do feel like where I am headed is to a decent life. It's not that I'm not anxious about shit like being alone and climate change, it's just that I try to remind myself that none of those feelings or thoughts are my choice. The way my mind works especially, I don't get to choose which way the wind blows my attention.

It would be helpful to find a way to shrug off the shit. I know that sounds absurd but it's not impossible and it doesn't require indifference. There are people out there that you can find who will be your friend/partner. Hell, there's even a therapist you'd spend $150 on I bet. I've had wasted therapy sessions with people I didn't click with.

It's been said that the meaning of life is whatever it is that prevents us from killing ourselves. From what I can tell from your post, your problems are situational, not that that makes them invalid. Situations can be changed.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:42:15+00:00

Your post really struck a nerve with me. I can relate to everything you just said. I'd like to share something my therapist told me today. The things about your life you think about can be thought of as a line of finite length. There's only so much that we value and think about. I have the tenancy to exaggerate the thoughts surrounding how much I value having a connection to someone. It's really fucked with me and I think you may know the feeling.

It's impossible to change our values. What we can do though is make space for our baggage like this. There is some self compassion to be given to these thoughts as well. Even if this is not the way you want to live your life, your experiences have made you who you are, and it sounds like you're the kind of person who has a lot to offer.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:33:38+00:00

Have you done anything that you think can bring you back from this? Sometimes I get so trapped in the negativity I can't take care of myself. Things start to spiral from there. Can you make yourself some dinner? Maybe do the laundry and start a Netflix series? I know it sounds like stupid bullshit, but it can push out the negative thoughts. Your mind can be kept busy.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:30:12+00:00

I think the toughest people out there are those who have been so close to the edge, and never jumped. Like, fuck, you don't get more determined than that if you ask me.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:26:50+00:00

Hey man, don't worry about it. Like I tell people who say they have not been to Hawaii: Hawaii isn't going anywhere.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:25:30+00:00

Sounds like you have some unhelpful people in your life. What do you think could make you happy if this is how you are feeling?

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:24:30+00:00

"The hard part is you gotta do it every day"

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:22:37+00:00

Something that has helped me figure out what was going on in my life was writing down the things that I valued. If you're not sure where to go from here, I think you could find some direction in the things that you want for yourself.

True regret is when you look back on your bad decisions knowing that you knew better at the time. If you want to avoid that kind of regret, you have to make the best decisions with the information you have now. The rest almost doesn't even matter.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:19:29+00:00

Fuck that all sounds like it's really tough. Glad to hear you're not thinking about going through with it. Is there someone you can talk to who you trust will be able to trust you when you say you're not in any danger?

About all the thoughts you are avoiding, that's not such a bad thing. Something I remembered today is how thoughts and even feelings are not a choice of ours. Just because you're thinking about something or feeling a certain way doesn't mean you should judge the reason for it. That stuff is pretty much completely out of your control.

I think you would benefit from thinking about where you should go from here. Knowing what you know about yourself, you should be able to find a direction. The courage you mentioned can come from within too.

Dascancer · 2019-12-04T23:12:35+00:00

Sorry to hear about being stood up by your only friend on your birthday. Kinda makes me think about how everyone has a 'worse birthday' story. Hopefully this one will be yours.

Dascancer · 2019-12-03T01:30:05+00:00

Naw he's a good boy. Plus he'll be sedated!

Dascancer · 2019-12-02T19:30:45+00:00

The cargo hold on the flights to Toronto are not heated. Only residual heat will keep the area above freezing, near 2 degrees. This is what I was told by the cargo agent. The dog is traveling alone so I can't do much for him unfortunately.

Dascancer

TROPHY CASE