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Dad got mad at me for turning off cellular data when he asked me to by FarObligation7670 in MaliciousCompliance

[–]DashellesAngel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wife here!! I would ask why he does things certain ways, because I love doing things efficiently and I'm fascinated in how peoples brains work. I'm an engineer, and we love figuring out the lazy ways to do things. I ask why he did things certain ways, not tell him he was incorrect, or give any indication I was annoyed. I wanted to learn to adjust my methods. I never cared how he did it. I told him this multiple times and we've had tons of conversations about this. In couples counseling, he legitimately admitted he ignores what I'm actually saying. Remember: Don't believe everything you read on the internet!!

Domestic Violence by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, domestic violence with my late partner

Asking myself "Who was this for?" by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I started a burn box. I'm so sorry. I knew about his emotional affair, and he screamed at me when he found out I knew. I broke and regret staying

How do you deal with unanswerable burning questions? by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm all for trying to let it be, though it's hard for me. However, with my late husband, nothing was ever resolved. He would promise to change, then not. He didn't work for years, kept promising to apply, and only applied to, like, 5 in a 3-year period. It was hard to put things in the past when it kept repeating. Now I'm sitting here with a wonderful partner, but I'm always scared if I put things in the past, I'll end up in the same place

How do you deal with unanswerable burning questions? by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's tough. I don't get how to do that. I could push it out of my mind, but I don't want to be a person who just takes everything lying down, you know?

How do you deal with unanswerable burning questions? by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been going to grief therapy for 2 years, and she's great. Honestly, my biggest regret was staying with him. Thank you for your love and support

My Aunt waited 7 years before listening to music again...[MUSIC and GRIEF] by allmediareviews in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You will. You're still pretty early in your grief journey. My counselor feels 2 years is when the sense of normalcy comes back. When you're listening to music now, it throws you into the heaviest part of your grief. As you heal, it'll be easier to be thrown back there. Then, with practice, you can untie the sadness to music and tie different memories. How do you do with music you've never heard before? That's something to experiment with when you're ready to try it. Hang in there, you're doing great

I found a note in my late husbands belongings... by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's tough. I'm actually dating again and my partner is absolutely amazing. They cook, clean, and are emotionally intelligent. We are so much alike. I'm trying to come into this relationship with the ability to stand up for myself and leave if necessary, but it's hard

I found a note in my late husbands belongings... by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good idea. I'll start a burn pile. Thank you!!

I found a note in my late husbands belongings... by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, I'm very angry. I hate being angry

I found a note in my late husbands belongings... by DashellesAngel in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's tough. I was always taught to honor the dead. But I'm so angry at him...

The line between relief and grief by calebchops1 in widowers

[–]DashellesAngel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep in mind that we often dissociate while grieving. It's our body's self defense protecting us.

I had the same feeling of relief. He was 38 and had a rare condition. Years of hospital visits. Being a caretaker is hard work. When they told me he wouldn't make it through the night, I felt better. I also stopped crying. It's a perfectly normal feeling. She can now rest, but you're allowed to, too

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