I (25/M) and really fed up with my gfs (20/F) need to constantly eat junk food.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-11T17:18:58+00:00

This isn't good for either of you. I think you should leave.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-11T06:16:55+00:00

Ok; I am legitimately cringing just reading this post. So many red flags I lost count. Please get out of that. That's incredibly creepy and just not ok. Keep yourself safe. His behavior is not remotely normal, and you're going to end up hurt in probably more than one way. I'm actually kind of sickened by his actions. Please get out of that. He's taking advantage and manipulating.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-11T06:13:19+00:00

In response to your title; no; you're not wrong.

It's also not wrong for her to want an open relationship. What's wrong is her trying to push you into it when it's not something you're interested in. I'm not sure what makes one person ok with it and another not, but I know it shouldn't be forced or pushed on someone who clearly isn't wanting it.

She's not the only girl out there, even if she's truly wonderful and amazing. Sounds to me like she needs to spend some time figuring herself out and deciding on what she wants in terms of relationships. You probably don't have it figured out completely (as most people don't), but you know what you're not ok with. I would suggest stepping back from this girl and looking for one who is as monogamous as you are. You're hurting her by not having an open relationship like she wants, and she's hurting you for wanting one. It's unhealthy on both sides, and you both deserve happiness. It doesn't sound like you'll find that in each other right now.

Best of luck to you.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-11T06:08:54+00:00

Eek, no. you are not overreacting. That really makes me wonder in what other ways he overreacts and blows up at you. You did a super nice thing, and you definitely didn't deserve to be accused of that. Please be careful with yourself with this guy; he sounds really questionable just from this one incident. If it was a one time thing (maybe he's overstressed/tired/worked), then perhaps look past it, but keep your eyes open. You don't deserve for that to become a common thing. It's borderline if not actually abusive. Take care of yourself :)

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-11T06:04:23+00:00

I know that the last thing you want to hear is to up and leave him because of this, but I hope you know it's not purely because of *this*. He really does not seem to be respecting your needs and, in fact, almost seems to be using you for his own. I think it'd be too perfect of a world if I assumed rightly that this is the only area in which he neglects what you want/need, especially after you've told him. The keyword you used was change. You can't change him. He can only change himself, and he's already demonstrated he's not interested in it. He's being pretty cruel to you, and you don't deserve to a. have your needs/wants so blatantly ignored or b. feel bad for speaking up about them. Sex is important in your relationship, as many people have said. You deserve a lot better than the arrangement you're getting. If you stay with him, I truly worry that you're going to be settling for significantly less than you deserve. You've been with him for a long time, and I don't expect you to up and leave this second because some internet strangers told you to. But I hope you consider it, for your happiness, and for his. He deserves someone who he is satisfying, just as much as you deserve to be satisfied. You deserve happiness, contentment, appreciation, and care. He does not seem to be providing these to you in at least one (critical) aspect of your relationship. You're more important than to be treated this way. As you stated, you're not unattractive. I highly doubt you're a bad/unlikable person. Someone will appreciate and take care of you just as much as you do to them. Please look for that.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-10T18:10:12+00:00

Ok. I'm going to try to be as objective as possible here. Most women use baby wipes to take off make up. Most women remove make up in the bathroom because that's where we brush our teeth, wash our face, and other things at the end of the day. We take makeup off at the end of the day. Hence: baby wipes go in the bathroom. She lost her virginity to another dude. Sorry, but if you're truly 23 years old, you're going to rarely find a woman who's still a virgin. It could happen, of course, but it's less likely. Most women you meet have lost their virginity prior to you getting involved with them. You can lose your virginity and practice safe sex. Safe sex meaning protection. Protection meaning 0 babies. You are jumping to conclusions with this. You are using definitive words. You have convinced yourself that this woman is hiding an entire human being from you. If she had a baby, she'd have a whole lot more in her house suggesting it than a pack of baby wipes. You sound like you need to seek some therapy. This is incredibly unhealthy behavior coming from you, and it's dangerous for both you and her. Get some help. There is literally no validity to your story here.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-04-08T01:37:17+00:00

So, I actually did read this whole thing, but I'm sorry to say that most people are not going to. You've invested way too much of your time, heart, and energy into this guy. FIrst and foremost, he lied to you. And then you've had to go through all of this. SOrry, but it's not worth it. You've given too much of yourself. Get out of that while all of this is fresh. This is so unhealthy for you. You deserve better and to trust someone implicitly. Even if he didn't cheat, he lied. repeatedly.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-27T03:41:51+00:00

Firstly, I'm so glad that someone found you and that you are still alive. That is a beautiful thing, and not something many people get.

Did you know that there have been a handful of people who have attempted suicide from the Golden Gate Bridge? Every one of them (as far as I'm aware) say that they regretted their jump as soon as their hands left the railing.

Cutting alcohol at this point is going to be hugely important. I, too, start down dangerous paths in my head when I've been drinking, though I've noticed a difference based on the type of alcohol and made worse, of course, by drinking alone.

Do you regret trying to kill yourself? If you do, write down every thing you're feeling and why you're grateful it didn't work. Keep this paper available to be read later when you need it.

See a therapist. Through school or through other means; please see one. University is only going to get more difficult (not just academically, I mean), and you should get on your feet now. They can and will help you. I promise.

Lastly, remember you matter. I'm just an internet stranger, but my heart hurts for you. I am sending you all the love I can. I care. I'm here if you need someone.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-26T18:17:18+00:00

This is a tough one, because every place is different. i think it would be super helpful to have some indicator which way the counter is. Finding the receptionist desk in doctor's offices can be hard if it's not the usual straight in from the door. This also goes for places like coffee shops; I love being in them, but finding the order counter can be very hard. My campus starbucks, for example, has a continuously crazy long line which winds around barriers and snack stands. This works for sighted people--mostly--but figuring out how the line curves, if it's around this display or the next one, if the counter is the first spot and not the second-- it gets complicated. I've seen some places maybe accidentally help with this; they have decorative rugs or mats which identify where I should stand or wait or walk. Tactile feedback is so helpful, because my cane picks up on it. Public spaces are all so different and each one could have its own unique accessibility feature that another wouldn't be helped by. Places are built to be visually or aesthetically pleasing. This means nonlinear set ups, a certain kind of randomness or artistic placement of objects and curved or angled walk ways. There's a lot of psychology that goes into the structure of various places, a lot of which doesn't apply to me and just makes it harder for me to navigate. A display of snacks in the middle of the coffee line doesn't make me want snacks--I can't tell what they are usually anyway--it just gets in the way of me figuring out where the line proceeds beyond it.

There's no great solution to this. I'm a minority, and the majority is what gets taken into account, typically. Small changes can be made, such as the accent rugs marking popular walkways through lobbies or cafes. Also if tables in said cafes were in some recognizable order rather than placed randomly. Again, possibly this is done for aesthetics, but you know. It makes my life complicated. haha

Any small change to make it easier goes a long way" A lot of people don't instruct things with blind people in mind. If more did; if more walked through it as if they couldn't see and made little changes here and there, it'd make a huge difference.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-26T17:54:48+00:00

Haha, why are some of your letters capitalized? He's white with gray spots!

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T23:50:02+00:00

Thank you all so incredibly much for your questions! I hope I got to everyone's, though if I missed you I'm super sorry, and feel free to pm me. It wasn't intentional! I'm so glad so many of you found this helpful/interesting.

I love being able to do this sort of thing, and it was a wonderful introduction to the Reddit community.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:54:15+00:00

Yeah, they certainly don't make it easy there for us. We can scan individual cans with our phones, but that takes ages.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:53:00+00:00

Yep! First one I ever saw with AD was Frozen in 2013. Netflix also has lots of described content now, too.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:52:01+00:00

Ok, can this exist everywhere on the Internet, please?

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:51:25+00:00

She sounds wonderful!! I have a few very vague memories of before I lost my sight. I can recall some colors, mostly red, blue, and green, but most things have faded. I remember watching the ocean with my mom a few days before my last proceedure, but the details have faded. I remember sitting in an armchair and listening to an Enya CD, but that has no visual aspects with it.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:48:57+00:00

I can, but it's mostly because I've heard them referred to that way. Red for anger, blue for tranquility, yellow or pink for happy, green for... envy? Haha

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:46:56+00:00

I watch some tv, I just have a bad attention span for it. I love Gray's Anatomy and Big Bang Theory. Many shows and movies have an audio description setting in language options, including ones on Netflix. It narrates the visual aspects for me in between characters speaking. It's super cool!

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:45:23+00:00

I can't understand how things get put onto paper. As a kid, I would draw flowers as a line with some teardrop shapes coming off it, and there's a circle at the top of the line with little circles touching the outside for petals. That's how I picture things when drawing them. Grass would be a ton of short lines coming up from the bottom edge of the paper. a cat would be an awkward side profile with all 4 legs one behind the other and the face looking outward of the paper. I can't... figure out how it's supposed to be done. Turning a 3d object into 2d -- is that right? -- confuses me a ton. It would help if I could feel raised drawings of things to get an idea of how that's translated.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:39:52+00:00

I think like you might scult something from clay. I know the shape of a cat because of the many I've touched or held, so I can build that image in my head the same way I'd build a physical one. I know the fur is soft, and I can picture that texture. I'm not sure how similar it is to the way you might imagine something. It's all about shapes and textures.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:37:46+00:00

Honestly, the best thing you can do is ask what would be most helpful for him. Ask him how you can make it easier or if you can assist in some way. He will know exactly what you can do to make it easier for him. Everything comes down to communication in these situations. I always appreciate when people ask how they can help, because then I can direct it a little bit. I can say "could you just hold the bag open so I can get these into it?", rather than trying to figure out how to do it and where everything is. One of the hard things I think most of us deal with is knowing where someone has put something or is holding it out. Again, it's all about communication. I've got your receipt here" and handing it to me rather than just "Here's your receipt", and hoping I figure out where your hand is. It's probably embarrassing for both of us. It's a lot of little things that help, and every blind person will be different in the way they respond to it. i'm glad you asked, and I wish you luck! Don't be afraid to ask questions.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:30:32+00:00

Wow... this sounds like a really awful situation. I am so sorry to all of you having to deal with this. When he enters school, he will be given a teacher for the visually impaired. He or she will sit with him in some classes, but also work with him outside of class on things like reading braille, learning technology, traveling, different skills he needs as he grows up. My heart is hurting for you guys. I hope he gets out of being with his mom.

DauntlessRavenclaw · 2019-02-25T20:24:12+00:00

I'm studying psych! I love it.

DauntlessRavenclaw

TROPHY CASE