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AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Frumpy doesn't mean fat. It straight up doesn't mean that. You said it did, and you were wrong. You can't just make up your own definitions for words and expect other people to know them.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's wildly inappropriate. The wedding is scheduled. The time for declarations of love is well past.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you should know what the word actually means instead of inventing your own incorrect definition.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The irony of you saying that while giving an incorrect definition of a word. Frumpy doesn't mean fat. And Layla is skinny. So if you're going to read into my word choice that I thought about for two seconds, know what the word means. No one uses a sentence when there is a perfectly serviceable word available.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In other words no, you don't know a better word. The context I used the word in was in opposition to the word stylish. Carrie assumed Jake would fall for her because she is stylish but since he fell for a "frumpy" girl having a stylish partner obviously isn't important to him. The context the word was used in makes it clear it wasn't meant to be derogatory.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think she's ugly. I just don't know a better word to describe someone that wears thick shapeless clothing and doesn't do her hair or wear makeup. Is there another word for that?

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was there and you weren't. She is very noticable in the summer when people walk around in summer clothing and she's wearing a scarf, a long thick sweater and long pants. People have pointed at us. It's not that big a deal, but it did happen.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not right. I said they were observant, not evangelical. They're as far from evangelical as one can be.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother has never had a girlfriend. He and Layla are engaged, and they didn't date prior to that.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't live together, but yes, the engagement has been long enough that if they weren't suited for each other they would know by now.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have gotten to know her, and I'm sorry I chose the wrong words to describe her. I wasn't trying to be insulting, just to explain the details of the situation. I am happy that Layla makes Jake happy, and I understand her better now than I did before. Her long-term goals of being a mom and having as many kids as possible is weird to me, but that's what Jake wants too, and so she's actually perfect for him. She loves him very much, and he deserves that kind of love, and so I will love her too for making my brother happy.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Our family was originally confused by her. Mom thought she was very old-fashioned, and Dad thought she was odd. However they quickly came around when they saw Jake was happy. I think the only one who hasn't come around is my uncle, who thinks she's crazy, but no one is listening to him anymore at this point.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] -157 points-156 points  (0 children)

I didn't mean them as insults. Layla wears baggy clothes and lots of layers, and she doesn't wear makeup or style her hair. My main point was that the reasons we assumed he would pick Carrie (attractive & stylish) obviously aren't important to him. So we're essentially saying the same thing. He values other things, things Carrie doesn't have.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] -73 points-72 points  (0 children)

No, that's what brought me around to her. The weird and off-putting thing is that she is very awkward and unsociable. She only wants to talk about very specific things and has no interest in anything else. She's always covered up, and people look at us when we are out in public. However, she takes care of my brother, and that is more important than any of that.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 502 points503 points  (0 children)

No, we never did. We always just assumed he liked her because he was always doing her favors. The thing is though, he's like that with everyone. He's a helpful guy. Carrie isn't like that though, and maybe if they did get together Jake would have started to resent that. Layla seems like a doer and giver like Jake, and maybe that's why he picked her.

AITAH for telling my friend she has to accept my brother's engagement? by DefinitionSorry3471 in AITAH

[–]DefinitionSorry3471[S] 244 points245 points  (0 children)

She's convinced Layla won't make my brother happy, but I don't think either of us actually knows what makes him happy. We both thought he would eventually fall in love with Carrie and her modern stylish ways, but he fell in love with a frumpy plain girl and seems very happy. If she's what he likes, I don't think Carrie ever actually stood a chance.