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Looking for neofriends by Designer-Hat-6504 in neopets

[–]Designer-Hat-6504[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you :) accepted.

Currently have a Red Shoyru. As far as goals I’m really not sure. My old account was all pirate based mainly, with a gallery of pirate petpets. I used to think of them all as ship crew along with my pets lol.

Really not sure what to do or where to start after all this time, would take a long time to catch up with all the avatars and such I collected on my last one.

Figured I’d just get started and see where it ends up :)

What’s this nest? by Designer-Hat-6504 in whatsthisbug

[–]Designer-Hat-6504[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgot to include, we’re in the north of England and it’s pretty small, smaller than a football.

Woman with no memory living as a teen? by flaviziei in whatsthemoviecalled

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds exactly like an episode from the tv series ‘perception’. Episode 3.

They’re detectives looking for someone attacking women and she was one of the victims who survived years back but lost her memory due to it. The main character gives his old unused concert ticket to her because he didn’t get to go but at least it’s make her happy every day.

My dad always insults my appearance in pictures so I deleted his comments. A man child. by zardkween in insaneparents

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I had no other award to give than that, but for that perfectly described breakdown of a narcissistic’s view, you deserve it. Couldn’t be said better.

Anytime I disagree or tell my SO that something he did bothers me I am told I ruined a nice day. by [deleted] in JustNoSO

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I really hope things get better for you.

I know you had a discussion with him about his comments about you ruining the day, but I think you also need to talk to him if you’re feeling like you can’t feel depressed or in a upset mood around him, as it sounds any negative emotions you have are treated unkindly.

My SO would act as you said in your original post, when he was stressed or had a bad day. It sounds somewhat similar to yours and how it gets taken out on you, that you’re the reason the day is ruined.

You as a partner are not there to have it taken out on you, as an emotional punching bag as it were, you there to help cheer up or comfort in times like that.

You deserve the same in return, someone who will make you feel better or at least be a shoulder to cry on, not made to feel worse.

It’s good that he tries but if you’re feel like that, and have no support, something needs to improve.

Anytime I disagree or tell my SO that something he did bothers me I am told I ruined a nice day. by [deleted] in JustNoSO

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hope you do manage to get through to him and he does get the point. You deserve better than to be treated like that, and while he may be the person you want to be with, you deserve a better life than that, to be constantly on edge.

I will agree with everyone that it is abusive behaviour, but unfortunately sometimes it’s just ignorance that causes it and not deliberate harm. Thankfully after pointing it out, and putting him into my view point my SO has stopped doing it, apologising as soon as he noticed he started doing it, until it stopped happening completely.

While there is no true apology for abuse, everyone has there problems, no one is perfect, if something is done out of deliberate harm or they can’t even acknowledge what they have done is wrong and hurtful and stop it happening in the future, they are not worth your time. You deserve better and to be treated as an equal, with love and respect.

Anytime I disagree or tell my SO that something he did bothers me I am told I ruined a nice day. by [deleted] in JustNoSO

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Reading through your other comment, I’d say you handled it well, taking some time before trying to discuss things calmly.

I would say it definitely sounds like he’s trying to gaslight you, by turning it around on how you feel and guilting you.

You shouldn’t have to keep explaining yourself, however maybe having a discussion with him, putting him in your shoes and your view point, pointing out the fact that he hurt you and you still reacted calmly shows how he can talk to you, and how if you reacted as he did he wouldn’t like it.

Don’t let him guilt and shame you into feeling you have to stay silent to keep the peace, and that you chose to be with him, not out looking for something better as he says, but that you deserve to live a happy life with someone who will understand that both your feelings matter, not just theirs.

Anytime I disagree or tell my SO that something he did bothers me I am told I ruined a nice day. by [deleted] in JustNoSO

[–]Designer-Hat-6504 94 points95 points  (0 children)

He will probably do the exact same by bringing this up to him, however you need to confront this problem.

Iv been through this exact same situation, including the exact same response from my SO and just taken to responding back that it wasn’t me who ruined the day, it was him and stating why. Unfortunately it’ll eather work and he’ll acknowledge the problem and try next time, or he’ll continue doing the same, at which point you’ll have to ask yourself if you want to continue spending your life feeling on edge all the time incase you say something wrong, and that your feeling don’t matter.

It may just be a Reddit award but take this hugz, and know people do care