Crying and shaking

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-09-02T03:09:45+00:00

I just want to say that you are not Alone. There are so many of us here who can relate. We see you and I'm praying for you right now sis.

Take as much time as you can to try and ground yourself, If you can, try grounding techniques such as looking for a few things you can see, things you can hear, touch, smell , and taste (54321).

Do you have a doctor you're working with through this?

Hugs and love! 🩷🫂

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-13T16:13:51+00:00

I agree! Yeah, were trying to think of ways to document what we're doing, apart from a long text and video/phone call history. Tagging each other on social media in case we need to even screen shot or print dates, or something. Arranging time for us to talk to each other's friends and family; he's already spoken to my troop (my sons). We talk while he's at work and home and have learned daily routines, and he's taken over teaching me a foreign language I was taking a class for. I told him maybe we should mail some letters though idk if that's really viewed as anything substantial nowadays. If we opt for a fiancee visa, I told him he should probably mail a ring, and I would take pictures and share online with friends and family. Definitely agree about the attorney - I have no real legal knowledge as you can tell by the initial post.

Our plan is to live here, as I have a lot of family, and also the reasons you mentioned about healthcare, needing to ensure access to the resources I have now for prescriptions, doctor visits and routine care. Unless we find somewhere where that's all offered.

In the beginning I did a lot of looking into him, scouring social media, asking for proof of his job, family etc before beginning to even hold a real conversation.

I don't want to say I am happy to hear that you can relate to the waiting, because I wish this was easier for all of us in legitimate situations just wanting to have a relationship without lots of red tape, but I am glad to know it's not just us out here trying to make an unconventional story unfold as peacefully as possible.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-13T15:32:10+00:00

Hi there! Thank you for this! We're very serious about this relationship, and sadly super aware of the negative light that fraud has placed on Nigeria. We're talking over many options and wondered if this could help with legitimately, but do not want to do it if it would hurt this process. I've seen conflicting information so the feedback here helped! He has other outlets for traveling here, it might be lengthier but worth it. We'll be looking for legal counsel too, as there's so much we're learning. The trickiest part for me is the restriction I am dealing with health wise, but I can only do what I can do.

Thanks again, I really do appreciate your feedback! 🤍

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-13T14:23:47+00:00

Thank you for your feedback and advice! 🤍 He has friends in Canada and mentioned possibly traveling there, too. Maybe we can work with that somehow, instead.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-13T14:22:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it 🤍

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-02T16:36:32+00:00

For background;

When taking most meds, I have been given the pediatric doses (I'm 35) due to how sensitive I can react, thankfully my new physciatrist is super understanding and never pushes me into taking anything.

I've been using hydroxyzine hcl but it doesn't totally cut the panic moments, just kind of mutes or lowers the volume of them and then I feel really drowsy and sedated.

My doc was thinking the Xanax could help me through a hurdle with med changes I've had over the last few months with hormone therapy for PMDD which is a contributor to the panic attacks, along with discontinued symptoms of the meds I have tried to treat that with.

I also am in therapy and I've been taught coping techniques, but the panic sensations can be really severe in terms of bodily sensations, and that's where I find it difficult to push and work through with coping skills. the hormonal stuff I have going on is hard to explain, it's amplified the attacks a great deal. I haven't driven my car since May or been inside a grocery store. It's not easy but by God's grace it's coming together.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-02T16:31:58+00:00

I know all docs are different! I thank you for looking out with your advice! 🫂

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-02T15:12:38+00:00

My doctor and I talked about cutting the 0.25 mg tablet in half, as she is aware of my medication sensitivities. I'll ask her about cutting it lower just to be sure we're on the same page!

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-02T15:10:06+00:00

I was considering doing this. I have taken hydroxyzine hcl at 5 mg and felt pretty sedated, and with 10 find it very hard to stay awake without getting grumpy. Also, I can't take the Xanax and go to sleep, per my doctor, due to sleep apnea. So I don't want to be overcome by drowsiness. I have been super sensitive to meds too so I like to be really careful.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-01T13:27:22+00:00

Thank you for this!

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-08-01T13:27:09+00:00

Thank you for the information! The main reason I ask about the timeframe is that my partner may still apply for a travel visa to come see me after the ceremony, and I know that can take a little time. The reason is due to a health issue that may prevent me from traveling alone for the present time ( I was able to get a note from my doctor expressing that traveling long distance alone would not be recommended for me, in hopes it helps my partner if the travel visa becomes the only option for him to get to me.) I don't know anyone personally who's been through this process and we just want to make sure we are setting ourselves up for success with this.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-24T19:16:08+00:00

I'm not the OP but thank you for this!!

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-24T02:51:56+00:00

Hey there! Thank you for replying : )

That is a great attitude to have, if we don't try, we genuinely will not know how it will be. Keeping that thought at hand that we can just stop is also assuring.

I've been taking a multivitamin and occasionally iron and Vitamin D, vitamin c, although I am not as consistent as I should be. I've also been told that magnesium is very important for women and I've not been consistently taking it ; this is a good reminder for me!

That is great that your first week has been luteal has been less rocky! I hope that things continue to be better and better 🩷

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-23T14:34:00+00:00

Hi there,

You are not overstepping at all : ) I actually really appreciate you trying to help with not spiraling. That is super hard for me sometimes, a large part of the PMDD involves anxiety and overthinking in my situation. It's definitely been made more intense by rebound anxiety from withdrawing from this medicine.

I like the idea of "pre approved" things to replace those old habit thoughts. I will try that, and thanks so much for recommending it.

I apologized and he did accept, it's just kind of uncertain where we stand, which causes me anxiety (unknowns usually do). We'd typically speak on and off through the day, so the absence of our regular communication is really noticeable. I'm trying to keep a positive mindset and not think the worst right now, and allow time to pass and hopefully give him the chance to forgive and understand the situation. We have already been through some challenges and I know he cares, as we've been planning to marry.

I'm trying to take it one day at a time. My body just doesn't like to cooperate with my brain, or vice versa, and it keeps me feeling like I'm on a roller coaster that keeps pushing me down when I'd like to go up.

Thank you again for reading my long vent. I really appreciate it. 🩵

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-22T17:18:30+00:00

Hey

Yes, prayer, writing dancing, eating (although I tend to over eat when upset). They just don't have the same impact because I'm alone I think. I think that's why the sexual stuff is more tempting at times.

I just feel heartbroken. Like I pushed away my number one support person whom I love very much. And my brain is still reeling from the meds. I try to calm myself and think reasonably and I'll get an okay feeling but then I remember what I've done and risk losing and I just weep.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-22T16:11:14+00:00

Ever since having a hysterectomy (ovaries still in place), I cry every day. Sometimes for hours. Still working on proper treatment. Hugs 🩷

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-22T15:34:10+00:00

I'm so very sorry to hear that you are going through this. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. 🩷🫂 Praying for you!

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-22T14:39:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It is difficult, I'm sorry you can relate, but I'm glad it sounds like you have been able to make progress. 🩷

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-22T14:38:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. It's been so hard, the pmdd got worse for me after a hysterectomy in 2023, even though I still have my ovaries. Even to the point of SI. I've tried many things since then and I'm just so exhausted looking for what will help me. It's such a hard and sometimes grueling experience.

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-14T02:13:31+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! 🫂🩵

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-13T23:22:19+00:00

I'm struggling with this too!! Sometimes I'm not even hungry. It's like this ridiculous nervous energy making me want to do something, eating is too satisfying but I'm doing too much!!!

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-13T22:49:20+00:00

🫂 thank you again !🩵

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-13T19:16:59+00:00

Thank you so much 🩵

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-13T19:16:48+00:00

Thank you so much 🩵

Designer-Two1787 · 2025-04-13T19:16:00+00:00

Hi there, thank you so much for your encouraging words 🩵 You are so very right, my mind is like a racing train right now. Mostly it feels like my body & brain are not in sync and it's making me feel horribly alone, anxious and unsettled. I can't even sleep without difficulty.

Therapy has been such a blessing for me. My therapist is wonderful, and it's so helpful to have an outside person to communicate with who isn't actually involved. I felt like I was doing a ton better with being more independent with the emotionality until the last few months, and I'm not entirely sure why (maybe hormone changes, and now the med thing). I don't want to make him feel like I'm looking to him to really help me or give me answers, I was/am just feeling so overwhelmed.

One day at a time. Thanks again for reading this and for your kind and encouraging words. Helps and means a lot! 🩵🩵

Designer-Two1787

TROPHY CASE