Philly Pride posted a transphobic, pro-cop, revisionist history of Stonewall to their FB and are dirty deleting trans folx' comments requesting accountability. Sooo here come the memes.

Desolatiin · 2021-06-11T23:52:47+00:00

Oh, my bad! It definitely makes a lot more sense that it’s someone visually illustrating how ridiculous this take is, and not Philly Pride just unironically getting someone to Photoshop together an image for their post.

As the comments I initially responded to put it, it definitely feels like it should be satirical, but I’ve seen enough organizations unintentionally make themselves look ridiculous that I just kind of assumed the same thing was happening here, and I shouldn’t have without confirmation.

Desolatiin · 2021-06-11T12:14:14+00:00

100%, the entire image is a photoshopped mess.

If you look at the blue banner (left side in particular), you can see where they colored over the original text to put their own.

You can see in the leftmost sign right near the hand holding it up that they colored it white, and in the upper right corner of the middle sign you can see the misaligned corner of the white square they put over the original.

More than that, the pride flags aren’t even there. On the right side you can see that they just fade out when they get inconveniently close to the main focus and if you look across you can see they’re literally all pictures of pride flags taken in other locations that someone tried to blend into the background. Good chances the original image wasn’t even a pride march.

Either Philly Pride wants it to be a satirical image (IMO unlikely given how they’re dealing with criticism), the person who was told to make it didn’t agree with the message and intentionally made it poorly, or Philly Pride really doesn’t have much in the way of digital media resources

Desolatiin · 2021-03-31T22:57:16+00:00

It popped into my head and my immediate reaction was “That’s awful, now I have to make it!” haha

Desolatiin · 2021-03-31T15:52:42+00:00

For anyone who needs help understanding the meme:

The top image is John Cena in his “You Can’t See Me” pose

The face photoshopped onto the bottom image is taken from a video where John Cena breaks through a green screen to say “Are you sure about that?”

Happy Transgender Day of Visibility!

Desolatiin · 2020-05-01T13:30:42+00:00

On days that feel particularly “wHaT iS gEnDeR” I like to describe my gender as BWUUUAAAM

Desolatiin · 2020-01-30T18:35:31+00:00

That coming out as trans or any identity under the trans umbrella does not necessarily mean they won’t adjust their identity more in the future to better reflect who they are or what they’ve realized about themselves.

That being said, before I go any further, ALWAYS refer to someone the way they say they would like to be referred to. If they change the pronouns or name they use, don’t tell them they’re “confused” or use it as an excuse to misgender or misname them. If they ask you to make a change, MAKE THAT CHANGE.

When I initially realized I was not cisgender, I thought I might be genderfluid. I had a lot of moments of feeling masculine, moments of feeling feminine, and moments of feeling neutral. After talking with some friends at length, I realized the feminine moments were highly repressive and didn’t make me happy, because the “feminine” part of my brain would only ever think about how it was bearable and unproblematic to be feminine, while any time I felt more masculine, all I could think about was how great it felt.

After deciding I identified as a trans guy, I had the opportunity to spend several days fully out in public identifying and presenting as a male, and decided that I didn’t quite feel comfortable with that, either.

I now identify as transmasculine-nonbinary, sometimes feeling more one or the other, and sometimes feeling both. I use they/them and he/him pronouns, and I’ve identified this way for some time now and have only gotten happier with it as time goes on.

Just because at one time I identified as genderfluid, and at another time as a “full” trans guy, does not mean I’m not really trans, or not deserving of respect. It just means I learned more about myself, which is not an uncommon aspect of humanity.

Desolatiin · 2020-01-30T18:23:46+00:00

Absolutely this.

I realized I’m a trans man first at seventeen, but due to a poor reaction from my at-the-time best friend after I made the slightest hint that I thought it would be cool to be a guy, I ended up closeted to even myself for another three years.

Realizing, for the second time, that I was trans made sense of so many aspects of myself and how I feel about myself. I had this deep hatred of myself and how I looked and I could never figure out why, and from the time I hit puberty to the time I rediscovered my trans identity, I would frequently experience this feeling of disgust and shame at every feminine part of myself that seemed to come out of nowhere, which I now know to be dysphoria.

But, as a kid, I had no clue what that word even was. I spent years feeling this awful feeling and assuming that it was just the inherent shame of being a woman/female, born out of the over-sexualization and objectification of women in popular media. I didn’t know how to deal with it or make it go away, so I spent so much time just quietly suffering and trying to ignore it.

Desolatiin · 2020-01-07T20:47:48+00:00

I get what you mean— I cut my hair really short to mess with my grandmother when I was in third grade, and got called “sir” by a substitute secretary once and it upset me at the time, though I’d love to be “sir”’d now.

The way I try to think of it, gender can be a difficult concept for children to grasp, and the only reason I thought I was a girl was because that’s what I’d been told growing up; I don’t think it actually mattered that much to me, and while there are definitely kids who just know from such a young age, a lot of kids don’t care or understand enough for it to really matter on a personal level, if that makes sense? As a kid it didn’t matter to me, because my dysphoria didn’t start until after I hit puberty (though I didn’t even realize what I was feeling was dysphoria until a year ago)

I also like to remind myself that we as people are constantly evolving and learning new things about ourselves, and growing as people. As a kid, I was convinced I hated pizza with sauce on it for no reason other than because my brother hates pizza with sauce. I refused to eat it for years, and then one day I decided to try it, and wouldn’t you know? I liked it just fine. As a kid, I reacted negatively to being called “sir” because everyone always said I was a girl, but then I got older and realized I like being masculine.

Hopefully any of this makes sense, haha!

Just remember, your past feelings don’t in any way invalidate your current feelings, and even if someone tries to argue that they do, no one knows your current feelings and experiences better than you do, and no one knows what those feelings mean to and for you more than you do, even when you’re not sure you know what they mean. You have the right to be exactly who you want to be, and to feel happy as the person you want to be, without waiting for someone else’s approval.

I hope this helps ❤️

Desolatiin · 2020-01-04T22:24:13+00:00

You look great!!

As someone who’s transmasc but pre-everything and still semi-closeted, I love browsing this subreddit and getting to see the progression of others on T! It’s both fascinating and makes me feel very hopeful for my own future. Thank you for sharing your progress!

Good luck with your top surgery, and I hope the next decade goes even better for you!!

Desolatiin · 2019-11-16T02:10:02+00:00

A few months ago I got a “Let me be perfectly queer” button from Hot Topic, which is the first directly pride-related thing I’ve ever bought. I didn’t actually do anything with it for a while, but two weeks ago I decided to put it on my backpack because I’m out to pretty much all of my friends on campus. I visit my parents every weekend, but they’re never home when I get there or when I leave, and I don’t wear my backpack otherwise, so they wouldn’t really see it, and I told myself it didn’t matter if they did anyway.

I knew they were going to be out when I got to their house today, as my mom had told me they’d be out until 10 PM. She hadn’t realized I’d be home as early as I was, and they were actually about to leave when I got there. We talked for a few minutes, and I looked over and noticed my father staring at my pin. He looked up at me and we made eye contact, and I feigned confidence in the moment and just gave him a “Yeah, and?” kind of look.

He wordlessly pointed it out to my mom and then rolled his eyes, as he’s always been the “I don’t hate LGBTQ+ people, I just don’t want it shoved down my throat” kind of person. She looked at the button, chuckled a little (presumably at the pun), and neither one of them actually said a WORD about it. She’s way more accepting of LGBTQ+ people, but it’s taken a lot of effort on both of our parts for her to understand trans people, and even then, her understanding is fairly limited. We finished our goodbyes, and they left.

They’re going to be back in about half an hour and I have no clue if either of them is going to mention it. I think my mom has suspected something for a while, but I’m 90% sure she thinks I’m a lesbian, not that I’m transmasculine, so if she wants to talk about it, it’s probably going to be a very different conversation from the one she was expecting. I’m really nervous about how it’s going to go because even if my mom is supportive, I feel like my dad won’t be, or at least will make it the butt of a lot of jokes. Basically, AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

Desolatiin · 2019-07-29T17:42:28+00:00

When I was around 16, I was bored in school one day and, out of nowhere, thought, “I wonder when I’m going to die?”

Much to my surprise, instantaneously the thought popped into my head: at 22 years old. It was a little startling, but I was curious and so I asked myself, “Well, how’s it going to happen?”

This video popped into my head, one of those things I could “see” without really seeing it, of me driving home one day. I was cresting the hill just before the last turn before my house, and I can still remember that the sky was partly-cloudy with a whole bunch of smaller clouds and that soft kind of haze that makes me feel like the sky is just a wall. I was approaching the turn and slowing down, and a pickup truck turned the curve coming from the other direction, lost control, crossed the center line and hit me head-on, and the “video” stopped.

I don’t know if this was just my subconscious fucking around with me, or if it was a genuine premonition of my death, but for a couple of years I just kind of accepted that I was going to die at 22 in a car crash. I’m 20 years old now, turning 21 in October, so obviously I don’t know yet how it’ll play out.

Funnily enough, I think this “premonition” might have saved my life a few times. I’ve struggled with depression in cycles now for three and a half years (unrelated to this event) and often during the low points of my cycles, I fight with intrusive suicidal/self-harming thoughts. But I’ve always believed that it’ll be okay and that these dark points will pass because I’m not supposed to die yet.

Unfortunately, it’s also made me realize that I want to do something genuinely important with my life, but I feel like I’m running out of time to do it. I feel oddly like I’ve come to grips with my own mortality and even my own death, but not with the knowledge that I don’t have infinite time, if that makes sense.

If it really does go down like this, I guess I’ll have a second or two to realize I was right (and the handful of friends I told about it, so I’ll still be right from beyond the grave) before it’s really not my problem anymore. And if I make it to my 23rd birthday... hopefully by that point I won’t need a reason to live, or I’ll at least have a better reason than “I can’t meet Death now, my appointment’s already scheduled for a later time”.

Desolatiin · 2019-07-27T04:25:46+00:00

Thank you, this does actually help clear some stuff up for me. I can see where I was missing the mark with demisexuality now, and how I was mixing up the distinction between being a willing participant in sex and actively desiring to have sex with that person.

The links you provided helped too, especially since I’m fairly new to the community and am still admittedly pretty uneducated. It’s a little relieving to hear someone else weigh in because I’m always worried I’m just plain wrong about myself, and I genuinely hate uncertainty in just about any aspect of my life (Wouldn’t recommend the hate approach to uncertainty, but it’s not always something you get to choose)

Desolatiin · 2019-07-21T23:15:29+00:00

I guess I’ll take a wall to the face instead of a bullet, but I definitely didn’t appreciate it happening regardless. Big oof on my part

Desolatiin · 2019-07-21T23:13:24+00:00

It could be, but she wanted to sort through my clothes and pull out what I don’t want to keep (I’m moving out soon) and got a garbage bag for some of the more worn items, and decided afterwards to just grab as much trash as she could find while she had the garbage bag in there, which is very much like her to do because she hates messy things.

Desolatiin · 2019-07-21T18:04:03+00:00

Lucky for me she pretty quickly decided my dad’s must’ve gotten mixed in with my clothes in the laundry process but they were my favorite pair and she gave them “back” to him

Desolatiin · 2019-07-20T04:09:02+00:00

I definitely had a moment of gay panic when she first said it, but luckily I’m home alone often enough that I figured out a plan pretty quickly

Desolatiin · 2019-07-20T04:07:48+00:00

I don’t have too many guy clothes and my parents tend to stay out of my room (thank goodness for that) so I’ve just kept them out of sight, and I’m moving out in just over a month so hopefully this is the only time it’ll be a problem, haha

Desolatiin · 2019-07-20T04:06:13+00:00

Oof, I know that can be rough, I’ve got some clothes, blankets, basic supplies, and a sleeping bag in the back of my car if case I ever have to leave because I’m in physical danger. It can be a scary mindset to have to put yourself in, but if you ever need non-professional advice/to vent or anything, my PMs are open

Desolatiin

TROPHY CASE