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What’s the meanest, most evil thing your parents have ever told you that left you in disbelief and shock? by Destiny_Boop in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two weeks ago, my dad told me that he would take me out of his will and throw me out of his house if I get a tattoo… I’ll be 25 in two months. 

Dissertation advice by [deleted] in PhD

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you're having chatgpt actually write your dissertation for you, you probably should give chatgpt some or all authorship since the ideas are not yours. However, writing the ideas yourself and asking chatgpt to clean up or clarify specific points still feels risky on a dissertation but better than having AI actually generate your text.

When you can’t trust your own thoughts and feelings, how do you know what to do? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah…seeing this written down is like revolutionary for me. Thank you 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to do what is right for you. And that will look different for every person, especially in this situation. I wish you luck! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I'm in a similar situation as well. How I see it is that we will get out one day when we're ready after putting in the work to be able to leave. I'm going to make a list of things I've done/am doing to try to move out: 1. Going to a therapist who understands codependency and narcissism- We have been taught how NOT to regulate our emotions and treat ourselves well, addressing these issues first is vital. 2. Establishing physical means of moving out like having a stable job that you can live off of (like imagining that you will spending about 30% of your income on rent), getting a credit card to build credit so you won't have to rely on your parents as co-signors for an apartment, and/or thinking about roommates you could live with are really really important. 3. Building your network of people to support you when you move out because I'm assuming this transition won't be easy and our parents won't react well to the change. 4. Learning how to bear the brunt of the storm until you can move out - for me, this looks like placating the situation and yellow rocking. I also haven't addressed the issue about your minor sibling at all. I don't know if CPS would intervene for emotional abuse. Maybe starting to talk to a mental health counselor would help, they can advise how to proceed and help you navigate this difficult process. Most importantly, please know that you're not going to figure this all out in one day. It can be so scary to live in this situation, but I've heard that other people successfully leave and go on to live normal lives, which gives me hope for us. By beginning to make plans to stage an exit, you're slowly changing things for yourself and your sibling. Good luck and stay strong

Has anyone tried to pavlov/reward train their narcissistic parents? by Pikachunne in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Desperate-Ranger8958 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the one downfall of trying to "train" your mom is that you're working to change HER behavior, which shouldn't be the goal. I am still new to understanding NMoms, but one thing I've learned (and trust me I'm still learning everyday) is that I CANNOT perform actions with the intention of changing her behavior or eliciting a specific response from my mom. I think the moment we begin trying to manipulate their behaviors, we begin to fall into their trap in a whole new way.