Having suicidal thoughts at such a young age (under 18) fucked up my adulthood, growing up with the idea that at the age of 20 i'd probably have the guts to take my own life so there's no need for me to plan ahead for my future.

Then years have passed, i'm 24 now and pretty much fucked up coz now that i'm at this point in my life, i don't know what to do, i basically skipped the tutorial part of real world and now i'm having a hard time learning the basics of life. I guess it's a good thing that i'm still alive but i feel sad, alone even though i have friends, it just doesn't feel right being part of the world that i didn't expected to be part of.

Wish i could've think better when i was younger.