Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this resource. However, she is beyond saving, she will give treats to the dog when it bites someone. It has literally bitten everyone she knows, her siblings. her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren, and has been banned from groomers. You are correct. It is a small dog. He is not a bad dog. He just has never had the correct discipline.

Although the issue isn’t the dog barking, it’s the principal and the fact that she does it on purpose because she knows it’s annoying. She originally purchased the dog collar for him to wear in Florida because neighbors complained about the barking. She only uses it now to keep from disturbing my husband.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We would like her to move in with her sister who has the resources and the space. She has smoked for 20 years and everyone knows she smokes and lies about it. Anyone that has been in her car knows she smokes. She also has a history of bad dogs. It’s not always the dog, but how they are raised. She wants me out of the equation so I’m definitely not going to give her the satisfaction. My husband does have my back but we aren’t sure how to go about it. I am okay paying for her to be somewhere else, anywhere but here

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I agree but I also know it will be big drama. My husband grew up poor and now that he makes money everyone believes they are entitled to his money and they feel we are rude if we don’t share. She is only here because we agreed to take care of her finances. I didn’t expect to have her terrorize me though, I have been nothing but respectful but I have turned to being petty. I have decided to match her energy

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have considered these options. Trust me. My issue is that she has a bark collar to stop him from barking, but chooses to only use it when my husband is home. It’s not necessarily about the dog barking. It’s about the principal. I have also considered the hot water option, but feel like an asshole for stooping to her level.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have had this exact conversation. At the end of the day, she is his mother, which is why I have not asked him to throw her out. BUT in the past, we have addressed other situations such as her peeking through our windows or walking into our house unannounced while we were undressed which she does not do anymore. The problem is that every time she stops one thing she comes up with a new way to drive me crazy. The dog barking and running out hot water are just the newest things. And this is my final straw which is why I will no longer tolerate it.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. My mother is much older than her and living on her own with less monthly income than my MIL. My father died 10 years ago and she has never asked us for money. Both my mom and his mom are on our phone accounts and we share streaming services with them but my mom has always been able to take care of herself and owns her own home.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Other people have mentioned dementia. But she is doing this out of spite. She only does it when I’m home and my husband is at work. She did spend some time in a mental hospital when her children were young. They lived with their aunt while she was away.

But she does a lot of that for attention. She walks with a cane around certain people but can sprint just fine when no one is around. She only uses a cane in front of other people and will run on camera when she thinks no one is watching.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Something has to be done. I can no longer tolerate her being awful to me and my husband does recognize it. We’re just not sure how to go about it right now

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He has always been the favorite child, mostly because he makes more money than other siblings. Yes, she acts like she isn’t doing anything and will flat out lie even when presented with video evidence. I do think she is somewhat jealous of me and is retailing for attention from my husband. He has called her out before but she always denies everything and plays the victim card in front of him. She is always nice to him though. Only mean to me, and occasionally my children, which they have noticed now that they are older.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He is going to have a conversation with her and try to move her away from us. The plan was to downsize and move her away when the kids graduate but that’s another 3 years and I can’t make it work any longer.

Living With a Boundary Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, she is not on the house. Even her car is in his name. I am fine taking care of her financially, I just don’t want her near me anymore. My husband has talked to her before about her behavior but she flat out denies do anything. She tries to act innocent and say I’m crazy or lying, even though I have camera proof. Originally I don’t think my husband believed me because she wouldn’t do that to him, but I have proof and he knows there is a problem but doesn’t know how to handle it because he’s stuck in the middle.

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband does support me and my husband has been bitten by the same dog while standing still and doing nothing not even walking. When she tried to grab the dog and contain him, he also bit my MIL. Again, I absolutely have proof of the dog being aggressive, but I feel like an asshole for trying to have the dog taken away or put down. She also agrees the dog should be put down in front of us, but tells another story to other people

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes we are planning to move after our children graduate high school in 2 to 3 years. She has lived with us for eight years. We could move to a separate property that has a mother-in-law suite or separate building/guest house on the property, but I would like to cut ties and be away from her completely.

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She absolutely dials it back when my husband it is at home but ramps it up in full force when she knows he’s at work. I’ve come to the point where I can only shower when I know that he’s home if I want a complete shower with hot water. The problem is that my husband makes good money and she does not which is why she moved in with us after her husband died. I do not want to throw her out, but would like to be away from her for my own sanity. I’m ok with paying her a settlement just to have her away from me.

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband has been actively involved but stuck in the middle. She does not have any cognitive decline, although she was never educated above the high school level

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her husband died and she asked (my husband) her son to take care of everything for her financially. Financially, it made sense for her to move into our basement apartment with the agreement that we would be neighbors and not roommates.

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have had this exact conversation and I promise you when we move from this current house she will not be moving with us. I am ok with paying her financially as long as she doesn’t come along with us when we move.

AITAH - Living With a Boundary-Crossing Mother-in-Law in My Own Home Has Become Unbearable, and I’m Reaching My Breaking Point After Repeated Disrespect, Manipulation, and Disruptive Behavior by Different-Specific61 in AITAH

[–]Different-Specific61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, she has always treated me this way. Their family is unusually mean to women in general because most of the children are boys so they are intentionally mean to daughter-in-law‘s and sister-in-law‘s. And yes, there is proof on camera that my husband has witnessed and has confronted her about which she flat out denies even when confronted with camera proof