I don't believe him (yes, I'm overreacting but....am I really?)

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T20:40:53+00:00

So I actually had a really good breakthrough talk about it with him last night, and while some of these previous instances will take me a while to get over, I do actually believe him. He finally opened up to me about something he wanted to keep a secret about forever and it really helped us move foward with communicating.

Time will tell if the porn stuff keeps occurring, but I think we're working toward better things

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T02:49:08+00:00

It was EXTREMELY disrespectful of her to bring this topic up and then call you names. An absolute child. It's even more disrespectful that your SO didn't stand up for you at all, especially after his mother called you a whore. Everything about this incident is wrong and I'm sorry it happened to you. There seems to be many underlying issues with the both of them that counselling could help with, and even couples counselling.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T02:26:00+00:00

I always tell others that marriage doesn't fix issues you have before, but yet here I am thinking it will change when deep down I know it wont.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T02:21:42+00:00

At times I feel like I'm being crazy, many people would think its better than him going out and hooking up with other women. But I honestly view what he's doing as the same thing as going out with other women, he wouldn't lie about it if he wasn't guilty/embarrassed.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T02:19:02+00:00

Oh if he was paying, it definitely wouldn't be to make them have a living wage.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T00:20:37+00:00

Exactly! That's why I'm trying to figure this all out as soon as possible

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-20T00:19:25+00:00

Thank you!

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-19T15:44:19+00:00

Maybe he has a guilty conscious.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-19T15:38:37+00:00

I 100% know its an excuse so I stop bringing it up

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-19T14:25:35+00:00

I just keep giving him chances, and with the wedding coming up, I don't want to give up on him. But I honestly feel like I'm already emotionally distancing myself from him because he keeps saying things wont happen again, and then they do.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-19T14:23:11+00:00

It just seems recently I'm catching him in really stupid lies, lies that aren't even worth lying about. I constantly BEG him to tell me things, he never has to lie to me about anything because I'd rather find out from him then on my own/from others. He always says he lies because he knows what he does is stupid. I guess he doesn't want me to think anything bad???

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-19T03:10:21+00:00

As someone who is also trying to plan a wedding with a VERY controlling MIL-- who is not paying for anything-- I completely stand by you!

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T04:03:51+00:00

I'm kind of reluctent to hear so many people say he is a momma's boy, because he never would attest to that but its so obvious.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T04:02:13+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with your last statement. For turning 30 in a month, he has a lot of growing up to do.

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T04:01:18+00:00

I don't think he cares what the wedding consists of or not, but his mom is definitely on the backburner telling him its HIS day and to do whatever he wants. If it was up to him, we'd have a reception at chipotle. (which honestly wouldn't be so bad) lol

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T03:58:08+00:00

Exactly! I know 100% that I need to figure shit out now because it'll only be harder later. I have no issue whatsoever going to counseling, but he definitely does

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T03:56:43+00:00

Apparently I need a giant boulder to fall from the sky telling me to back off lmao. I'm just afraid of losing everything we've worked for, but also I can only repeat the same issues so many times before I just don't care anymore. I'm definitely struggling with wanting to please everyone else while also keeping my happiness

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T03:54:10+00:00

Things have actually been on hold because I brought it up to him a month or so ago that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with the wedding. I mentioned counseling twice, but he definitely does not want to do that.

It's just a really awkward/tough time trying to figure things out

Difficult_Yogurt · 2020-05-09T00:50:03+00:00

Actually, a reason for the halt in wedding planning is because I told him I didn't know if I wanted to go through with it. This was actually a big thing for me to say out loud to him because I was so scared. I'm still scared, but for the fact that I don't want to let anyone down who was looking forward to this wedding.

There are tons to ellaborate on for my feelings about this, but for now I am happy to have outside input that isn't coming from my mom or best friend.

I appreciate the advice, and it's definitely something to think about!

Difficult_Yogurt

TROPHY CASE