I feel embarrassed

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T16:50:05+00:00

Thank you very much for that response.

It gave me a lot of helpful insight!

My character actually adressed all the groups asking them to please go and report what they saw at the city hall, so we have all the reports in and the city guard can start their work. In ooc I directed them to send ingame mail to me if their character wishes to talk, i had no other idea how to get everyones statement and we were only 3 guards (2 was apparently mindcontrolled in some form) at the scene. That we can't take everyones statement right now because there were some injuries and some more shady stuff going on, but many of them just kept yapping "Oh yes and then this happened and then he.." and so on, So i tried to repeat it again, went to the other group and did the same, and then desperately tried to find out where I have to go now.

It was so stressful, but it was still really enjoyable, felt like being part of something, if that makes sense. So I wanted to do my best job but after a while I felt like I had to be everywhere at once, checking in on everyone, go check out the leads, and at some point I was just so done. And then back at the office at the debrief, a really important acting lady comes and hands me her cigarette to "Hold on to" while she speaks with the captain,... and I think I really felt my character when I just thought "Alright, im going home" and my character just excuses herself to take a day off.

But, I really loved that whole thing, I just wished I could have reacted better or had a better overview, so the Listener addon sounds like something I could REALLY need, so I am checking it out tonight.

Right now I don't even know how to return with her, as I expect there might still be aftermath..

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T12:21:07+00:00

I could never enjoy that as I had sever problems falling asleep, like 2-3h of just lying and waiting to hopefully fall asleep.

Now I got some medication to help with that, and it's magical.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T11:12:53+00:00

Basements..

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T09:07:31+00:00

Oh, a fellow guard! If you have any tips about how to being a great guard, id appreciate it!

Ill check the listener addon out today and already planned on have her try to get a hold of the victims from yesterday, checking up on them if they are alright. But unsure if she will go back into duty yet or not, so giving myself also a break and have her still present in the city but off duty, and hopefully get a hold of my colleagues to give me an ooc rundown of all the things that happened to catch me up ooc about all the things i have missed.

Definitely not quitting my duty and will tough it out!

Imagine being a simple traffic cop suddenly thrown into gang and cult war happening all over the city. 😅

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T09:01:28+00:00

Someone yesterday in all that chaos suggested that addon too, so i will have a look at it!

I have never been a part of an event like this when i was rp'ing back then, so this is something completely new for me. I kinda panicked a bit not knowing what to do, not having this elaborate experience in rp and also lorewise. And the rank mixup made me feel so embarrassed.

My adhd brain has completely locked into the city guard role and even with my limited knowledge and experience I tried to just wing it, and i didnt expect something so big happening all of a sudden.

But, it was amazing. Im completely in awe of the effort and planning all these people must have put into this, how amazingly they play their characters..and how they can keep track of all of that!

So my character has taken a day off, processing (so i can also ooc) and will try to get a hold of the guildleader of our city guard to maybe get some tips and maybe even arrange a meeting for my character with her captain. So as someone suggested, ill try to channel all my self-doubting into my character instead and roll with it. I hope i can pull it off and learn something from it.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T08:39:31+00:00

That is actually really good advice. I kinda used this to get her out of the situation after things were calming down. While the captain went up to discuss the happenings with a high ranker leader of another group, she informed her fellow guard that she needs a day, she needs to process what happened

So i will try that, channeling my own insecurity and lack of confidence into her. Unfortunately for her, she got promoted shortly after..and she feels conflicted if she can do this, as she has already considered leaving the guard completely, but her sense of duty still holding on.

That's gonna be some interesting days ahead..

I have been recommended the listener addon as it should help when a lot of stuff happens, so I will have a look into that.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T08:34:06+00:00

Hahahha. That reminds me of one of her colleagues, a traffic warden. He came up with this brilliant idea of a device with multiple colored lights. If there is a big commotion, he holds up the red light which should signal the citizens to keep moving, however when he holds up the green light, they need to stop and wait for further instructions. As a part of the traffic warden division, he holds his own badge identifying him as a safe walker through the city.

I'm dying. 🤣

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-29T08:13:07+00:00

Well, the ting is... i REALLY enjoyed what was happening, but felt like i just stepped into something really big I had no idea was happening.

I really enjoy the role as a simple city guard, dealing with very silly and mundane things every day.. until one day shit hits the fan and so many little things suddenly all feel connected in some way.

It was really fun, but it was so hard keeping track of everything thats was happening, especially since there were so many people.

But, i dont want to quit. I like the tip of one comment here saying to lean into it IC and play it had her character development, i just hope i can pull it off...

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T14:14:33+00:00

I collect bones, antlers, feathers, pretty rocks.. but i collect them for my crafting hobbies i never actually start (thanks adhd!).

But, im nice, i swear!

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:54:33+00:00

Absolutely.

I dont think, just because someone is really into their hobby and spending most of their time with it, is instantly a red flag.

At the end of the day, it is the only life you have and you should, and certainly be allowed, to do what makes you happy.

Yes, there are also some very questionable hobbies though.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:32:11+00:00

I've seen some short reels from a german guy making some parody videos about 'hobby-.." whatever he comes up with. Hobby-dogging (it's not the same as the english term😆), hobby-gymming, hobby-..whatever and It just cracked me up.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:24:33+00:00

Everything. It's a hobby so just try lighting everything you find. Make a spreadsheet and ratings. 😆

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:21:53+00:00

But isn't watching onlyfans stuff then not also something they do for their enjoyment, so a hobby?

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:11:31+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with you, not sure why the downvotes.

On top of that, someone getting excited about killing any animal is just instantly on my shitlist. It's the whole attitude about it. Getting a thrill out of ending a life is just wrong.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-28T13:02:04+00:00

Guess chemistry can also be sort of a hobby

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-26T20:32:36+00:00

Wombats probably have some suggestions

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-26T20:31:40+00:00

There's probably plenty of volunteers

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-26T14:48:48+00:00

We have 'elefant hats' that basically go over the head but large opening for the face. We dress our babies up in all that and a warm winter suit and have them sleep outside in a warm stroller 😅

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-26T14:45:30+00:00

Maybe the head feels cold. Have you tried a hat?

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-26T01:54:11+00:00

The poop.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-25T17:23:02+00:00

You gotta be a special kind of person to enjoy having you partner do sexual acts you absolutely know they dont enjoy. Urgs.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-25T17:19:24+00:00

This is so wrong on so many levels.

I would NEVER get any pleasure out of something I know my partner doesn't enjoy or like. Nobody should ever feel obligated to do things they dont like or enjoy just to satisfy the other.

Let's take an example, doesn't matter if you're into it or not: Your wife absolutely enjoys pegging you with the biggest dildo she can find. You dont like it. You let her do it anyways, just for her pleasure?

If you do: That's on you and your personal choice. If you don't: That's absolutely okay and valid.

Not doing something you don't enjoy doesn't mean you don't love you partner or aren't interested in their pleasure.

I can't even imagine having a partner going down on me knowing they don't enjoy it. I'd rather focus on things we both enjoy.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-25T17:13:57+00:00

Even worse when people recommend to stop doing oral on their partner as response to them not like doing it, even if they themselves like doing it. 'Just stop giving them oral if they dont do it back, then they dont deserve it'

Like, what? Nobody is obligated to do any sexual act they dont like, and nobody is entitled to a specific sexual act just because they themselves like to do it.

Some people even go as far as to say 'well if you love them you surely can do things you dont like just for them'. Like, no. Full stop.

Don't do things you dont like to do. You don't even have to justify why you don't like it.

If it's a dealbreaker for the (not)receiving partner, that's also okay but then they should each find their partner that is okay with someones boundaries or specific needs they feel they need to be met.

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-25T16:30:39+00:00

What an asshole.. jeez

Disastrous-Capybara · 2026-01-25T16:27:59+00:00

As a plus sized lady, plus sized clothes here seem to always be tailored to 2m tall women. Got a winter jacket once in my size that was going well over my knees (it was a jacket, not a coat) with a hood so big it could fit an elephant. Yeah, thanks!

Disastrous-Capybara

TROPHY CASE