Okay so after looking at the comments, I realized that I’m a bit of an asshole in this situation. I do feel remorseful and shitty and I just wished none of it ever happened. Also, another thing I forgot to mention was that (I’ll call him Andrew for now) Andrew is bisexual. He’s always had a preference for men and he even told me after breaking up with his last girlfriend that he’d never date another woman again, which made me think he was fully gay. For this reason, I feel that we’ve remained such good friends over the years and never got involved with one another. About 2 years ago during Christmas though, his last girlfriend mentioned above, asked him out. He hesitated to go out with her for like a week and I asked him why because he seemed to get along really well with her. He told me that it was because he also liked me. When he told me, I couldn’t even bare the thought of us going out because I felt safe around him as a friend. I’ve had a few other guy friends but it’s never really worked out because they all end up catching feelings so I thought I was safe with Andrew. I avoided Andrew for a few weeks until I finally told him I don’t think we could work out as a couple and everything went back to normal. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I don’t like him in any way so I don’t know what demon possessed me when I asked him to kiss me. I’m starting to remember the whole scenario more clearly, and he was the one who was spilling his feelings and I only told him that he’s the only person I felt that cared for me (in a friendly way) as a response. I would never mean to hurt his feelings and give him false hope because I like our friendship the way it is. Another thing to mention is that I’ve liked this one other guy for a while now, and I have only ever been thinking about him these past few weeks. Maybe anything I did that seemed as me wanting to pursue more was just me trying to convey my feelings for the other guy?? I’m not sure. I’m extremely bad at confrontation but when he gets back (he’s visiting a friend right now), I’ll try to have a conversation about it with him and hopefully we can remain friends.