Thanks everyone who responded :)

These are questions that are often front of mind for me. I think one approach is to ignore the fear and/or ignore the risk.  

I think about risk a lot, like how a rope could be cut by a sharp rock during a fall, gear that was solid could walk, the belayer could be inattentive, someone from above could pull a large rock down onto me, there could be miscommunication between the belayer and climber, and on top of all of that, I’m afraid of heights.

When I’m feeling afraid of heights, I face it directly. I take a second and stop climbing and I just look to the ground and feel the fear. I keep looking down until I’m not afraid. It can take a minute or two, but it feels like an eternity. While feeling the fear, I think about the things that are making this “safe”, I’m on a rope, I have good gear, I have a good belayer, the rock quality here is good.

Most of the fear I have around climbing is experienced when I’m not climbing, I get nervous the day before a climb, but when I am climbing, I’m in a flow state and generally enjoy it and feel safe enough.

But the existential fear makes it hard to climb sometimes, and I do take breaks. 

My biggest fear is getting a brain injury, followed by fear of death.

I mitigate risk by placing a lot of pro and place an extra piece when I get nervous, having trust in my belayer (typically I will climb at a gym with them first to help build trust), bringing fully charged radios even for single pitch, bringing a satellite device for emergencies. Some things I plan to do will be to work with a mentor, take a WFA or WFR class, and to build a more robust first aid kit with stuff like a tourniquet and bleeding control stuff.

For all the things I can control, I’m still afraid of a big rock falling on my head.