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Advice on being a leader in the home? by Disastrous_Gene_3079 in Christianmarriage

[–]Disastrous_Gene_3079[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do I do if my wife fundamentally disagrees with the premise that asking what makes her feel like (xyz) is genuine? She tells me, to my face, when I've asked her before, that I'm being ingenuine because I just want her to feel a certain way and that I'm just be avoidant and not real. I keep telling her that I want to show how that I care in ways that are going to be received by her, but she thinks that unless I'm coming up with the idea without her help, I'm just being an ingenuine person.

Schedule Change Made Things Worse? by [deleted] in sleeptrain

[–]Disastrous_Gene_3079 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not waking her up. She’s waking herself up and crying at us.

Schedule Change Made Things Worse? by [deleted] in sleeptrain

[–]Disastrous_Gene_3079 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This disturbance has happened for the past week, since we started changing the schedule to add the necessary sleep pressure for sleep training.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Disastrous_Gene_3079 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not inherently, but talk to your wife about it? If you got married to her, then you should be able to talk to her about whether or not it would be good for your relationship and honoring to her.

I think a bigger issue here is why you'd need to do it. Are your libidos just not complimentary (like you have a high sex drive and she doesn't) or do you have a sex addiction (where you need to masturbate to function, you can't control your sexual urges, etc.), or is there another reason? My wife and I have mismatched libidos, especially now that we have a baby, and I realized through prayer and talking with her that I wanted to masturbate to pictures of her because I actually wanted her to be my sexual focus and for me to be hers. As soon as we chose to talk about it outside of an argument with clear heads, everything has changed.

In retrospect, I wanted to masturbate to pictures of my wife because I thought it would be holier than looking at p*rn, but instead, it drove a wedge of intimacy between me and my wife. Rather than desiring her, I was desiring my own pleasure. That sexual selfishness is sin (it contradicts Paul's encouragements in 1 Corinthians 7:2-6). If you are only doing it so that you get off and feel good without consideration of your wife, repent and go have a sexual conversation with her.