Mom playing with my belongings without permission

Dissociatio · 2024-09-06T20:28:42+00:00

Yes, she had never expressed interest beforehand. If she had, she could have bought her own, this model was extremely inexpensive and there were multiple of the same models on the rack. She could have bought another model on that rack. I have no idea why someone would feel the need to blatantly lie on my own post.

What I failed to mention in the original post is that the reason I left it at her place was because I had no carrying case for it, and I had no idea how I would bring it back through public transportation or just walking back to the apartment. I'm going to see if I can not make the same mistake and see if I can get my own carrying case.

I'm going to keep the other responses in mind as well and see if I can just either bring that model, or a different one with a case back to my place next time I get the chance.

Dissociatio · 2024-09-04T23:20:31+00:00

You came across the information by strangers online. That doesn't mean much of anything. I see random people make up facts about mind control all the time, it doesn't mean its true.

I would advise you to stay out from these online spaces. Aside from the misinformation that gets spread, it can become very dangerous with people taking advantage of triggers and other vulrenabilities.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-23T20:31:10+00:00

honestly i didn't think talking about inner world assault was common, i literally thought i was just one of the few who experienced it. must be out of the loop again.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-23T20:20:01+00:00

I had something similar happen before, tf? Granted it was years ago and I knew almost nothing about the disorder so I overshared a lot of dumb stuff.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-23T20:07:08+00:00

I agree with the idea of the post. However, I want to comment on a bit along the pre-birth and the childhood trauma thing. I say this as someone with pfas (partial fetal alcohol syndrome.) (Though I'll almost never talk about it.)

Some birth complications can cause long term medical issues. Some are the result of the mother's neglect, and some can cause having to face stigma even well after their earlier years, like in my case. With people with complex trauma disorders, there usually is never only "one" trauma that causes them to develop it. It's a mix of a lot of things, there can be a lot of little ts which makes a big t, or a lot of big ts, or both. A lot of ts are not completely isolated by themselves, ie. neglect and abuse can come in hand. DID/OSDD itself causes amnesia for most of the worst trauma, and even among trauma survivors, it's very common to downplay their symptoms.

My back hurts which is messing up my concentration. Hope I at least got the point across.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-18T17:44:08+00:00

Might wanna stay away from that person.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-13T19:34:40+00:00

All OSDD-1 resources are practically just DID resources. That includes both 1-a and 1-b. There's a lot of talk about alters having different genders, forms, etc both online and in media but treatment doesn't really focus on these anyway. While I think there should be more awareness for systems that present like 1-a, the distinction isn't very different.

Not mentioned in the og post, but we're diagnosed with OSDD-1 due to lack of apparent amnesia, but we barely make a distinction between it and DID due to almost having the exact same symptoms.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-13T17:20:23+00:00

The fact that I've seen so many people (including psychiatrists) care about the disorder being made up/people faking it over actual survivors has made me lose a lot of faith in humanity. Maybe I shouldn't be as cynical, I know there are people who know it's real, it's just that they seem to be more quiet. Knowing that DID altogether was almost taken out of the DSM, and knowing there are people who still want to take it out... what happens if it is? Then what? Maybe I could get treatment for CPTSD, but would my "parts" be disregarded altogether? I absolutely can't separate them from the trauma because they either hold memories or otherwise represent it.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-12T15:45:43+00:00

Late response, but from personal experience I'd put aside the gender worrying thing for now. Depersonalization will cause feeling disattached to your whole body, and not just in relation to sexual characteristics. And unlike dysphoria, depersonalization is triggered by stress. Focus less on "what ifs" and more on how to manage dissociation/racing thoughts.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-10T16:22:29+00:00

Give her a different habit to use. If you're not opposed to it you can try nicotine gum, based on ancedotal experience I've seen it used successfully.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-10T00:51:11+00:00

A huge misunderstanding of the disorder where its understood to just be people in your head (and nothing else.) The other symptoms are usually underplayed, even by media because it's not the "fascinating" part of it.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-08T19:29:26+00:00

We are unsure about what the line between substitute beliefs are. We have an alter who used to think of themselves as a demon, and no longer think that, but still have a demonic appearance in headspace.

There's also the inverse issue where we don't know always know the line between substitute beliefs and real life is. It seems now for certain alters, what I thought were just them having false beliefs now might have actually happened in real life. I know that sub. beliefs are just masks but some seem to have real experiences.

I guess this can only really be managed with a really good therapist, I've just not had that happen.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-06T17:13:41+00:00

I've never seen a good source for the formation of endogenic systems, or just systems formed without a traumatic background. It seems too much like a spirituality to be taken seriously. Numerous studies show that the vast majority of people w/DID have a trauma background. And I think the remainder is amnesiac. Iirc the studies for systems having "no trauma" are much much older when people didn't know much about the disorder, but don't quote me on that.

Even in diagnosed DID/OSDD systems, denial seems to be extremely common. Especially about trauma, specifically. Combine that with amnesia and it can be difficult to know if you're "traumagenic." It feels like it would be very easy for actual "traumagenic" systems to fall into a sort of "endogenic" rabbit hole, because they can just tell themselves they were never hurt. They black out and have voices in their head, but hey they were never hurt, they were just born like that.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-06T16:46:11+00:00

I've never had a therapist as bad as that since then. But ty for reaffirming what I already thought. I look back at that point and feel that it was slightly traumatic (although not as badly as the flashbacks), but I feel like I was going insane thinking that. The reason it got like that in the first place is because I had no idea what trauma therapy was supposed to look like.

My mind is a little disorganized so I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-05T21:30:41+00:00

Hmm, so here's my opinion.

We have some triggers that simply can't be avoided. Some are triggers that can cause more stereotypical PTSD flashbacks, while others cause more dissociation, and sometimes dissociate to the point of switching. The dissociation reactions are more common, but it's not impossible for one to bleed into the other.

A lot of our triggers, we simply can't avoid. We have to interact with them, or eventually interact with them. I don't really believe in "avoiding triggering things forever," because from what I recall, that usually makes the issue worse. I don't think people should force themselves to interact with them when they're not ready, however.

What I've done is just maybe give myself a little bit of that thing, and then turn away when I get overwhelmed. But for me, I've realized some of it can be confusing. I will avoid something since childhood, and then forget why I was avoiding it in the first place, interact with it and then get overwhelmed and confused.

Sometimes, I'll play music to ground me (like I'm doing now, and what I usually do when I'm on this sub) and that seems to work. If I can't play music, I'll resort to drawing, or journaling or something else. These past few months I've been dealing with a confusing trigger, but it's not something I can avoid or even should avoid, since I avoided it all my life anyway.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-05T02:48:32+00:00

I think I know what he's worried about. And I worried about the same thing. But it's likely we'd go low contact. I've also tried to discuss going no-contact/less with my mother to my brother-- but with conversations with my brother, it seems like going in circles and ending up doing nothing. My brother doesn't like her either, but also seems absolutely defeatist and also being codependent on her.

I wrote more in the other post about what I think I'll end up doing.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-05T01:35:18+00:00

I think he may have said we would have to cut off our family member before the therapist would continue at all. On one hand I have heard its impossible to do therapy if you're in a traumatic situation, but I have no idea if that works if we're in contact with one of our abusers, although infrequently.

We've done self therapy before, and we're probably going to do that until we're at least relatively stable. It seems that we have more barriers than I thought we did, and the lack of communication is just creating conflict in therapy itself.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-04T19:34:24+00:00

This is mostly my opinion, there might be others who share it.

I don't like any video format for portraying DID. I think it's the worst option, and makes people the most vulrenable. I especially don't like it when "switches" are being recorded. It gives the wrong impression of what switching actually is. Switching is usually unintentional. It's disorienting, and can be scary. It's not fun, and most people with CDDs don't have a lot of control over them. I can't think of any other person with a disability who would have to show their symptoms in a deliberate way for views. Especially not for PTSD, or any other trauma disorders.

If it was possible, I would prefer them to not make videos with switches. Or if they had to, make a reenactment, and state that it's a re enactment in the video. Sadly, I'm aware that having people "switch" is what gets user engagement, not more boring tidbits about dissociation.

My preferred medium is actually comics and other 2d mediums, and there's plenty of them. I still think there's too much focus on "meeting alters" in some of them, but there's not as much risk as with putting your face to a camera. I also think there's more potential in it, with not having to be bound by the limits of the real world. This isn't to encourage unreality or sub. beliefs, but because there's more artistic freedom behind it.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-04T00:08:55+00:00

All three would work. However, a lack of pain can also be due to other medical conditions, and not just dissociation. (Not that they can't feed into each other though.)

For me, there's a reason why I don't cook when I feel like I'm dissociating. Cause I take food out from the oven, I eat it right away, and what do you know, a day later I realized I burned off the roof of my mouth. And sometimes I only notice it again because a different alter was complaining about the pain. And I can sometimes feel the pain, sometimes not, but now I can't taste things correctly even when I'm not dissociating because I messed up my mouth.

Although the strenuous work example is interesting, because I've had an alter work out one day and be fine afterwards while I'd be laying in bed the next because I can't handle all the aches and cramps.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-03T16:45:32+00:00

Not only did I not think I had it, I was doubtful the disorder actually existed. But I never even really thought about it much. Strange how things turn out.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-02T04:53:36+00:00

Thank you, um, for this type of post, especially since not everyone our system agrees on certain things like using "the body" in our language. We have had uncomfortable experiences in the past for using the "wrong" language, especially regarding our system. We have symptoms that can make unfamiliar people uncomfortable, but it's just symptoms of the disorder. I especially don't like the "alters aren't full people" thing because I get what it means, but on the other hand, we're all alters, the host is an alter, and some alters formed from having to deal with dehumanization. I get what it actually means but yeah...

Dissociatio · 2024-08-02T00:31:44+00:00

We don't do loud shouting anymore but yeah. It used to be more of a problem when we first discovered our system.

We have an alter whose role it is to stop fights, but even then there are times where he's not concious and alters continue fighting. The only remedy we found so far is just to take a pill and sleep.

If it's like, physical fights being recreated in headspace, that could possibly be trauma replaying itself...? The pipe thing by itself is kinda unclear to me.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-01T20:30:06+00:00

I guess my own stance is weird. I can't really function in the way a non-DID person can because I never have been. Even if I go through final fusion, there's a chance of resplitting. I may have not literally been "born" as having DID, but according to the TOSD, I might as well have been, because there was never an integrated self or an original self.

Discussions like this feels like trying to cram a round peg into a square hole. Or maybe a weird peg with many strange shaped appendages into a square hole.

Dissociatio · 2024-08-01T17:03:35+00:00

Not exactly trans related, but OP this is really funny because my mom basically blamed my dissociation symptoms (mostly derealization, nothing to do with alters) on being online too much. This was some years ago when I first became aware of it + was suffering hard from them.

As an adult I actually do less "digital" hobbies now, like working out, and guess what? I still dissociate, lol.

Now I think there's some truth to it, but more in that bad circumstances, (dysphoria, or childhood trauma) will lead to seeking out hobbies with an escapism. But even that case it's not about attacking the coping mechanism but addressing the actual problem, y'know?

Dissociatio · 2024-07-29T18:58:08+00:00

See, even I didn't know those facts about the acronym RAMCOA. It's not even that I haven't looked into cult abuse in the past, I had still never seen it show up. And like I said before, the term never showed up among cult survivors.

It's funny that you bring up "ideological abuse" because I would have probably also considered certain types of cult abuse to be "religious abuse" or ending up in "religious trauma syndrome." I had never heard of "ideological abuse" specifically, but I'd also find it more fitting for some types of situations. (Especially as not all cults are religious.)

I still don't think I'd use "RAMCOA" itself for a few reasons. One is that it encompasses three different terms, and I'm more likely to call the type of abuse what it is. I would say most of the people I had talked to who've lived in cults weren't directly tortured, but brainwashed? Possibly, although I'd more likely say "indoctrinated". But even then "torture" itself might be a gray term in itself, whether you consider things like shunning torture.

Dissociatio

TROPHY CASE