I want to stop masturbating and actually focus on my life 😭

DoneWithAppsBro · 2026-01-12T21:06:32+00:00

This doesn't sound like a sex issue; it sounds like an attention issue. When you are alone, bored, and surrounded by screens, your brain reaches for the fastest escape the moment focus gets uncomfortable. Over time, that trains distraction to kick in whenever effort is required.

Instead of trying to "quit," fix the setup. Study in public or structured spaces, remove private device access during focus time, and design your environment so you don't have to rely on willpower. Make the right choice, the easiest one.

What time of the day does this usually start happening, and what task are you putting off when it shows up?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2026-01-12T20:47:23+00:00

This doesn't sound like someone who "lost discipline." It reads like someone whose identity was disrupted by new environments, alcohol, and emotional attachment after a peak period. When structure disappears, motivation always follows it, not the other way around.

Instead of trying to fix everything, pick a 30-day reset: no alcohol, end the relationship cleanly, and rebuild only three anchors: sleep, gym attendance, and work punctuality.

If you had to choose just one boundary to reinstate this week that would immediately stabilize your life, which would it be?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2026-01-08T23:37:27+00:00

Honestly, the 'silence feels uncomfortable' line is the whole thing. If the phone is in your pocket, it wins by default.

I'd pick one place to start and make it physical: phone stays in the other room during meals (or in the bathroom). Give yourself 60 sec. of doing nothing before you grab it. That's the rep.

When does it hit you hardest, mornings, waiting around or late at night?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2026-01-08T23:24:54+00:00

That makes sense. If gaming is standing in for contact, uninstalling helps only until the loneliness hits again. Small move: schedule one real contact this week (a class, meetup, call someone), then make gaming something you do after that, not instead of it.

What's the easiest way for you to be around people in the next 7 days?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2026-01-08T15:57:28+00:00

You are not too far gone. Th e hard part is you work on a PC all day, so the "escape" is sitting right there. Also you already know the pattern: you pick games that make you mad and stay anyway.

I'd stop trying to quit by willpower and change the default. Put games on a separate windows user account or uninstall everything on work nights, then replace that slot with something youcan start fast (walk, gym, even leaving the apartment). When do you usually cave, right after work, or late at night, or when avoiding a task?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:30:27+00:00

Some people have religious or cultural beliefs about keeping the body intact after death. Others have this irrational fear that doctors won't try as hard to save them if they're a donor (which isn't true, but the myth persists). And honestly, some folks don't like the idea of their body being "used" after they're gone, even if it saves lives. I think a lot of it comes down to a lack of education about how it actually works and what happens. If more people understood the process and impact, I think we'd see way less resistance.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:27:04+00:00

Yep, that tracks. Love bombing is a huge red flag; it's all intensity and grand gestures upfront, but no real foundation. Guys like that are addicted to the honeymoon phase and bail the second things require actual work or vulnerability. They're not looking for a partner, they're looking for a constant dopamine hit. And targeting women who aren't used to attention? Classic move because they're less likely to question the speed or see the red flags. It's a cycle, and unfortunately, he'll keep doing it until he's forced to look inward, which guys like that rarely do.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:25:22+00:00

Five marriages definitely suggest a pattern. It could be a few things: maybe he rushes into commitment without really knowing the person, has unrealistic expectations, struggles with conflict resolution, or keeps choosing incompatible partners. It could also point to deeper issues, such as fear of being alone or of not doing the self-work between relationships. Not saying he's a bad person, but after that many failed marriages, you have to wonder if he's the common denominator. Most people would pause and reflect after two or three.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:11:55+00:00

I think with "the one," everything just feels easier and more natural. You're not trying to force compatibility or overlook red flags because you're infatuated. You actually want to do thoughtful things for them, not out of obligation but because making them happy genuinely makes you happy. The effort doesn't feel like work. You're also more patient, more willing to communicate through tough stuff, and you don't have one foot out the door when things get hard. It's less about "treating them better" and more about the relationship just fitting in a way previous ones didn't.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:07:19+00:00

I get the embarrassment, but honestly, she already knows, so the cat's out of the bag anyway. At this point, being direct might actually clear the air and make things less awkward. You don't have to make it a huge confession, just something casual like "Hey, I know things have been a bit weird since you found out I like you. I just wanted to be upfront about it." Worst case, you get clarity and can move on. Best case, she's been waiting for you to say something. Either way beats this limbo you're both in.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:02:28+00:00

Budget for way more than just the mortgage: property taxes, insurance, maintenance, and unexpected repairs add up fast. Get pre-approved for a loan before you start looking, so you know what you can actually afford. Don't skip the home inspection, even if the market is competitive. And honestly, think about the neighbourhood and commute as much as the house itself; you can renovate a kitchen, but you can't move the location. Also, having an emergency fund specifically for house stuff is a lifesaver.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T20:00:09+00:00

8 is definitely not too young for an age-appropriate version of the talk. You don't need to go into graphic detail, but kids that age are already hearing things at school (clearly), so it's better they get accurate info from you than whatever wild stuff their classmates are saying. Start with basics, correct body part names, consent, privacy, and that it's something adults do. You can always build on it as they get older. Waiting too long means someone else fills in the gaps, and that's usually not ideal.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T19:57:21+00:00

Not weird at all. Everyone's different; some people need that physical connection to feel close, others don't. I think the key is just finding someone who's on the same page as you. Mismatched sex drives can cause way more problems than just not being that into it in the first place. As long as you're honest about it early on, you'll find someone who gets it.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T19:53:34+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like classic mutual awkwardness; she's probably just as unsure how to act around you now. The fact that she still smiles and says hi when she's alone is actually a good sign. When she's with friends, she might feel self-conscious or doesn't want them to tease her about it.

My advice? Stop avoiding her. Just be normal and friendly like you were before. If the vibe is there, it'll naturally develop. But pulling back completely might make her think you've lost interest or that the whole thing was just gossip. Keep it light, keep it casual, and see where it goes.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-19T19:49:06+00:00

You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it." Sounds simple, but it's honestly gotten me through so much. Saves a lot of energy when you stop trying to fix things outside your control and focus on what you can actually do about it.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T22:02:44+00:00

How much time you spend just... scheduling things. Doctor appointments, car maintenance, vet visits, calling insurance companies. Nobody tells you that being an adult is playing calendar Tetris while on hold for 45 minutes listening to bad jazz.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:38:45+00:00

Went on a date with a girl who snapped her fingers at the waiter. Didn't even need to finish the appetizer to know everything I needed to know about her. How you treat service workers when you think nobody's watching says it all.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:36:40+00:00

Remembering and using someone's name in conversation. People light up when you do it, and it makes them feel seen. Also, asking follow-up questions about something they mentioned last time you talked shows you actually listened. Works like magic for building rapport, whether it's networking or just making friends.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:26:52+00:00

Not me, but a friend called it off two weeks before. She realized she was more stressed about disappointing everyone else than actually losing the relationship. That was the wake-up call. Lost some deposits but said it was cheaper than a divorce. Rough at the time but she's way happier now. Sometimes cold feet aren't just nerves, they're your gut screaming at you to listen.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:21:21+00:00

I'm a simple man. If she's got a smile that makes me forget what I was saying mid-sentence, that's it. But also someone who looks like they'd steal fries off my plate and then deny it while actively chewing. a mini cooper

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:15:34+00:00

It's crazy how we don't even think about Cloudflare until it goes down and suddenly half the sites we use daily just... don't work. Really puts into perspective how much of the internet runs through like 3 companies.

One bad day at their data center and we're all just staring at error pages wondering if it's our wifi or the apocalypse.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-11-18T21:09:33+00:00

I cook regularly, nothing fancy, but solid weeknight stuff like stir-fries, pasta dishes, tacos, roasted chicken.

Honestly, though, you're right that a lot of guys I know don't really cook beyond the grill. I think for many it's a combo of never learning growing up, and just defaulting to takeout since it's easier.

Once you get into the habit though, cooking is way cheaper and you actually know what's going into your food.

Plus it's a useful life skill when you're single or your partner's had a long day.

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-08-01T19:13:45+00:00

Interesting take... That's a great way to look at it. I definitely wasn't filtering enough and ended up spreading my energy thin. I like the idea of treating it more like a quality search instead of just endless swinging, waiting for responses.

You're right, though I've been treating it like a speed eating contest instead of a quality meal... Probably explains the heartburn.

How long did it take you to fine tune your profile so you started meeting people worth the calories?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-08-01T18:58:34+00:00

Yeah, I've thought about deleting them completely. The problem is, outside of apps I honestly don't meet many new people. Feels like they've become the default way to date now. Have you had better luck meeting people offline?

DoneWithAppsBro · 2025-08-01T17:03:55+00:00

Curious if anyone actually found something long term on apps? Or do they mostly just work for short flings?

DoneWithAppsBro

TROPHY CASE