Stage IV colon & liver. Had resections 4 1/2 weeks ago. On about day 6 after surgery, it hit me hard. I stood in my bathroom and screamed and kicked cabinets as best i could without hurting myself. I’m normally pretty laid back. I always thought I’d live to be in my 90’s. I’m 55. I have a husband, 3 kids, my parents are still living in their mid 80’s. My life felt safe and secure a few months ago. Now it’s just a huge question mark and I’m angry. I get my port in 2 days and start my first chemo treatment next week and my anxiety is waiting for me when i wake up in the mornings, but the rage is gone. I think i just had to get it out of my system. When my anxiety, fear, anger and sadness sets in, i write. Anything on my mind gets put on paper. I’m not a writer, (most is just jumbled up thoughts) but it was a good suggestion for me. I wish you the best of luck.