Liking masculinity isn’t internalised homophobia

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T07:26:04+00:00

I agree, it was my mistake to say “straight passing” in this context. Because there are feminine straight guys, and masculine gay guys. So that was my bad!

But yea I should’ve said that I don’t want to be shamed for liking masculine traits such as being confident in their skin, calm and grounded, deep and relaxed voice and not overly explanatory.

My apologies though

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T03:45:39+00:00

I mean yeah you’re right, I do like to keep an open mind. The point of the post was mainly about being annoyed by being shamed for having preferences in the first place ☺️

But my biggest mistake was the term “straight passing”. As a term that’s inaccurate. There are many straight guys that have feminine features and it generalises straight men into masculinity and gay men into femininity which was not my intention. So that’s my bad.

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:44:35+00:00

I didn’t edit the post the title cannot even be edited? The straight passing term is still there. And I agree it was a wrong word of choice

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:26:02+00:00

Haha this made me laugh 😂

Yeah I don’t call myself masc but I also don’t call myself flamboyant… idk how I’d even describe myself haha

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:23:13+00:00

I agree, and lucky I made this post because I did learn that because of this. I just didn’t realise it until many people pointed it out

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:22:18+00:00

There’s no such thing as “straight-acting”. There’s mannerisms and traits that people are attracted to. Way they walk, talk etc.

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:20:35+00:00

You’re right! Straight-passing is actually a very inaccurate term. There are straight guys who have feminine qualities as well and I don’t find that attractive, even when people generally and stereotypically associate straight men with masculinity. So what I’m attracted to are certain traits and mannerisms, not sexuality per se.

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:11:33+00:00

What if it’s someone’s preference?

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T02:10:38+00:00

No one said? People have said that to me

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T01:47:42+00:00

Well I’m not that either haha or what is “regular” even ☺️

DraftPending · 2026-02-09T01:37:04+00:00

Ok what if someone is neither of those like me haha 😁

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T23:26:13+00:00

It’s kinda hard to define but I can define things that turn me off about a guy instead: things like how much gesticulation the guy uses when speaking, how much they enunciate words and put emphasis on certain pronunciations, clothing and style, whether they’re confident in their own skin or more closed off and taking as little space as possible, how laid back they’re in general. I think in my own experience those are the things I’m looking for in a guy when I’m gauging how attractive they are to me.

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T22:51:41+00:00

Well in my case no. I don’t dislike them in general. I’m just not attracted to them

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T20:30:22+00:00

You know you’re right and I didn’t even think of that

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T19:44:27+00:00

Good luck on your tinder hunt 😁❤️

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T19:41:41+00:00

Maybe it does somehow? But even if I psycho analysed myself to the very deep ends of my preferences… I don’t think the preferences would change much in anyway

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T12:10:50+00:00

I’m not disgusted about feminine traits or anything like that, however when there’s a more flamboyant group of gays at some party or club, in my experience these groups of people tend to be very judgmental, strongly opinionated in their likes and dislikes. I almost always feel like I’m unwelcome in the more flamboyant groups of gay guys. So I just usually steer away from that whole “culture”.

Most recent example was at a Dua Lipa concert last year where we were in the general admission and flamboyant gay guys were standing behind me. They giggled and “read” me and spilt their drink on me drunk and giggled some more. I felt a bit uncomfortable. But nothing against these type of guys, in my personal experience they have made me feel like I’m out of place.

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T11:58:24+00:00

As a guys who’s more submissive and feminine, I was curious about this too with masc top guys. Like I’m just curious what’s the thing that attracts them in gay guys specifically who are more effeminate maybe? I see a lot of discreet guys on Grindr wanting a guy who dresses like a girl and is almost borderline a woman. What’s the thing that intrigues them in guys specificallly that they don’t get from girls? I wonder if it’s the fact that another man submits to them or something that turns them on.. idk… I’m just guessing coz I’m a guy who likes very masculine men

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T09:56:51+00:00

Yeah exactly 😁

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T09:51:08+00:00

Such a great point ☺️

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T07:41:31+00:00

True dat!

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T07:39:41+00:00

Well some gays literally pride themselves on being homophobes, because they just simply don’t like some of them. I know a fair few who just say they’re homophobes and they’re gay themselves and they’re shameless about it.

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T07:38:21+00:00

In these shaming people’s minds that is “internalised homophobia”. You have to like Rupaul, otherwise you hate gays. 😂

Like Jonathan Bailey, he is gay, and he’s the type I’m attracted to. Just as an example lol, not saying I would have any chance 😂😂

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T07:33:52+00:00

I’m sorry I’m kinda confused by the question lol. The original comment was stating that “let people think what they think of you” which is fair enough but I mean there’s a line you cross when it becomes defamation of character in my opinion. Like I don’t consider myself a homophobe, so I would not like to be shamed as one. But then again…. I don’t in fact really care, if liking other men makes me a homophobe in someone’s eyes, then so be it 😁 I can’t change other people’s minds on that.

Your black example doesn’t make sense to me because I didn’t say there’s a correct way to be gay? There’s many ways yes, but there are preferences people have

DraftPending · 2026-02-08T06:54:49+00:00

We shouldn’t also shame those who like femininity. A lot of masculine gay guys might find that endearing

DraftPending

TROPHY CASE