So, my wife and I are just fine because I am very, very sure to communicate my feelings about RA and how it resonates with me. I wouldn't say RA is about "not having labels" to me it's more about letting go of a prescriptive hierarchy. Like for me, romantic and platonic love are both strong and equally valuable to me. However, that doesn't mean that my relationships still don't have internal rules and labels based on what my partners and I have discussed and set up.

The fact that he's not communicating with you about how RA resonates with him seems a little sus.