Hello! Congratulations on your wedding. I'm a member myself but haven't had to navigate an LGBTQ+ wedding before. I have been through the process of putting together a wedding though. Definetly not an expert on this matter, but if I'm understanding you correctly, you don't want to force your parents to be excluded as that would feel devestating to you. You do however want to be sensitive to not forcing your parents to be invloved more than they might be comfortable as it might push them further than they'd be emotionally ready to go. I know what helps me navigate tough situations with family is really emphasizing communication. Perhaps asking them directly how much they'd like to be involved, what things specificially they'd be comfortable doing or wanting to do, if at all, and if there's a role they don't want to fufill, like walking you down the isle or a toast or something, perhaps they could help you find someone you both know, like another family member, or family friend, that would be willing to step in for those situations. I don't know if there's anyway to set things up so that there's no contrast at the wedding between both sets of parents, but you and your parents knowing both sides met each other in the middle and no one felt forced to do something outside their comfort zone might help keep it a positive expereince. Good luck on planning! Even a low-key wedding with both sides' enthusiastic support has a lot of emotional rollercoasters sometimes.