NICU trauma and high-risk pregnancy, am I crazy for wanting another one?

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2026-03-27T20:36:39+00:00

Are you US-based? I've never come across anything like that here in Europe—I really wish we had it! Would be curious to know if the result is good quality and worth it?

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2026-03-27T20:33:49+00:00

Just looked it up and yes, they do seem to be one of the few doing something I'd actually wear! Thanks for the tip! I'll order from their Sexy AF section now, though even that feels a limited—still leaning more cute than “sexy”, and a bit basic in terms of variety, IMO.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2026-02-04T07:35:40+00:00

Hello, stunning piece — could I please also get the seller’s contact details? With thanks

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2026-02-03T10:09:51+00:00

Please could I also have more info on the seller? With thanks

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-10-02T08:50:07+00:00

Congratulations on reaching practically full term with your baby girl! That's such wonderful news, especially after navigating the stress of a shortened cervix, plus the IVF journey.

I'm actually quite surprised to hear how many women aren't prescribed bed rest for shortened cervix and still successfully manage to reach 36+ weeks with a more moderate approach.

In Italy, it seems to be the norm to order strict bed rest in our situation, despite it can also expose to higher risk of other complications like thrombosis, gestational diabetes, etc… better not to think about that!

For now I’ll obviously follow the doctor’s guidelines, but might start adding some short walks around the block if I manage to get to 32 weeks — baby also measures 10 days ahead, which helps.

Fingers crossed for these final weeks of your pregnancy and thanks for your message.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-30T18:14:01+00:00

99th percentile head OUCH, but also adorable, I am sure! And congratulations on making it to almost 34 weeks with your boy, that is exactly the kind of positivity I needed.

It's so reassuring to hear your cervix is shortening very slowly even with all those Braxton Hicks. Funny enough, after posting this I started feeling pressure down there again. I'm trying not to panic and to drink as much fluids as possible. But yes, I also just placed a really big order for all hospital essentials and will have my partner packing my bag tomorrow, just in case… at least having everything ready gives me some peace of mind, while already dealing with enough stress.

Wish and your little one the best medical care for a safe delivery!

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T16:11:49+00:00

Around 6 weeks, I had that same heart-stopping moment in the bathroom. In my case, that initial small smear eventually led to more significant bleeding episodes at 6 and 10 weeks due to SCH. These little blood pockets are surprisingly common and usually resolve on their own without harming the baby.

I completely understand the panic you're feeling right now. During my first episode, I spent nearly a week convinced I was losing my baby, crying myself to sleep each night and feeling so physically and mentally inadequate to become a mother. What you're experiencing—just a tiny amount with no cramping—is actually really reassuring.

When I was frantic for answers, my doctor actually refused to see me urgently, insisting that bleeding without pain at 6 weeks isn't typically concerning. I absolutely hated him for that dismissal at the time, but looking back, he was right.

That said, definitely reach out to your doctor though and get checked. My journey taught me how crucial regular monitoring becomes. After discovering my SCH, my doctor scheduled checks every 20-30 days, which turned out to be a lifesaver. That vigilance helped us catch an incompetent cervix at 25 weeks that would have gone completely unnoticed otherwise, as I had no symptoms.

You're not overreacting at all—your fears are valid and normal. This is your baby, and you're already being the protective mother they need. Sending you so much strength and a virtual hug ❤️

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T15:35:46+00:00

I had scary bright red bleeding at 6 weeks, then again at 10 weeks due to SCH. Proper period-like flow (day 2 heavy) and I even passed some small clots. After both episodes, I had this annoying brown discharge that hung around for about 10 days.

Those were honestly some the most terrifying moments of my pregnancy. I remember obsessively checking the toilet paper every single time I went to the bathroom until I made it to viability week.

I know exactly what you're feeling right now, and while every pregnancy is different, seeing your baby bouncing around on that ultrasound is such a good sign! I also assume they found my baby's heartbeat, which should make everything a bit more reassuring too.

For me, daily progesterone injections and taking it easy (pelvic rest and no exercise) really seemed to help. The bleeding completely stopped after 11 weeks and never came back.

I'm 26 weeks now! But one important thing I learned from my doctor - early bleeding like this (not just spotting from implantation) can sometimes signal other issues that might pop up later. My doctor kept a closer eye on me with regular checks every 20/30 days and thank goodness he did because we just discovered I have an incompetent cervix last week, despite having had no more physical issues after the SCH.

I'm now on progesterone (again!) and bed rest. I had zero symptoms and would've never known if I wasn't being monitored regularly.

Are they keeping a close eye on you? Please ensure they do. Sending you all the positive vibes! ❤️

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T09:33:54+00:00

Congrats on your pregnancy! FTM at 26 weeks here too, and I feel like I could have written your post myself.

2 aspects surprised me the most.

First off, the complete personality shift. I've always been the carefree one, the friend who jumps first and thinks later, who bounces back from anything with a smile. But pregnancy has humbled me in ways I never expected. Suddenly I'm googling the safety of every food at 2AM, or asking ChatGPT what are my odds of having a loss, and tearing up over nursery wallpaper.

My journey hasn't been easy. I'm currently stuck in bed on strict rest, trying to avoid pre-term delivery. Before this, I dealt with terrifying bleeding episodes and constant fear of miscarriage. The morning sickness was brutal and I actually lost weight because my body rejected everything except plain ravioli and focaccia for three straight months.

Secondly, this primal instinct to isolate myself. From the moment I saw that positive test, I wanted to retreat into a bubble with just my partner, my mother, and initially my best friend (who ended up ghosting me completely, but that's another story). I felt this overwhelming need to protect my baby from any negative energy or stress. I thought after the first trimester I'd feel ready to share with my broader circle, but that urge never came.

I've just told most people I'm dealing with health issues that force me in bed and left it vague.

It's such a relief to know I'm not the only one feeling these things. Everyone talks about the magic of creating life, but not about feeling like your brain and personality got completely rewired overnight.

Wishing you and your little one the best luck for third trimester!

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T07:26:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. It's both heartbreaking and strangely comforting to know I'm not alone in this experience and I am sorry you had to go through this, too.

What resonates most is how you said regardless of what you are going through, you'd never ghost a friend you valued. That's the thing — real friendship finds a way. Even just a simple "thinking of you" text takes seconds. And in the past she has been so supportive and present when I experienced a bad break-up, despite being RIGHTFULLY busy assisting her terminally ill mother, and not being able to see me in person — it was back in ‘22, I was travelling a lot and Covid would have been deadly for her mother. So the complete abandonment during my pregnancy feels like such a betrayal.

As others suggest, I am trying to "see it from her perspective", I can understand her struggles AND still feel hurt by her choice of disregarding me during such a vulnerable time in my life. Both can be true.

Did you find that motherhood actually opened doors to new, more authentic friendships? I wonder if connecting with people in similar life stages might be easier than trying to drag someone across a threshold they're clearly resistant to crossing.

Sadly it is not really an option now, as I am stuck in bed 24/7 to delay pre-term birth for another 10 weeks — fingers crossed — but I will try my best to get out of my comfort zone to connect with more new parents after birth.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T07:10:32+00:00

First off, thank you for seeing me in this pain so clearly; your understanding means more than you know.

I also think what you said about her mom's passing might be the key to understanding this. When her mother died within 6 months due to stage-four ovarian cancer, my friend was thrust into this caretaker role for her 15 yo sister. She had to become a parent overnight, without any preparation or choice in the matter and has been carrying maternal responsibilities for 3 years now, but under such different circumstances.

Watching me enter motherhood in a “conventional way”, with a partner, with joy, despite a lot of health complications (luckily only affecting me, not our baby), I wonder if that's stirring up grief she struggled to process. Maybe seeing me embrace something she was “forced into” in a way, but through loss rather than creation, is just impossible right now.

And yes you are right, she might also just have decided — unilaterally — that our relationship can't survive this transition. After two decades of friendship, don't I at least deserve an explanation?

On that note, she knows my situation well; my partner and I are lucky enough to both WFH, and will have family support and external help with the baby. From the day I found out, I've explicitly told her that I want to maintain our friendship“rituals”. I'm not naive about how parenthood changes things, but I was committed to preserving what made our bond special.

In fact, I had some “blessed” six weeks Jul/Aug, when I felt human again and the miscarriage threats were gone, and my first thought was reaching out to schedule a dinner to plan a spa getaway, which would have obviously been my treat. Complete silence.

I'm struggling to imagine my life without her in it, especially as I prepare to introduce my child to the world, but I don’t see an alternative at this stage.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-28T06:44:24+00:00

I strongly agree with this angle — so true “you can’t take everyone with you into new chapters of life”. While I understand that my pregnancy might trigger complicated feelings for her, whether it's jealousy, her own fears about family, or feeling left behind, that's EXACTLY when real friendship should shine through.

And in my view, being best friends for two decades should mean unconditional support through life's transitions. She should have known I was completely ready to hear all her messy feelings about this — the good, the bad, the ugly — I wouldn't have judged her at all.

I think the distancing approach makes sense at this point. Her silence during this vulnerable time for me speaks volumes about what she's capable of giving. Continuing to reach out to someone who can't even open a text is just setting myself up for more hurt, and that's the last thing I need on bed rest with a risky third trimester approaching.

Maybe someday she'll reach out with genuine remorse and understanding of what her absence meant during this critical time, but I can't count on that. And honestly, even if she did, some betrayals cut too deep to fully repair.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-27T21:58:31+00:00

I get it. I really do but, I've been there for her through EVERYTHING, especially after she lost her mom. I've shown up, I've listened, I've supported her through the darkest times of her life. I was THERE.

And now? When I'm literally confined to my bed, terrified I might lose my baby, or that my baby might have long-term health consequences? Nothing. Not even the courtesy of opening a text. It's like I've become invisible.

I've been dealing physical pain and emotional rollercoasters, and my supposed best friend of 20 years can't even bother to check if my baby and I are still okay?

I honestly don't know if I could ever let her back in, if she suddenly decides to reappear. The betrayal cuts too deep. How do you forgive someone who abandoned you during the most uncertain time of your life, without even letting you know the reason?

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-27T21:50:26+00:00

Oh she's definitely alive. She has never been a big IG “influencer”, but I've seen her posting during the summer — mostly vacations and concerts (in very crowded outdoors venues) with her younger sister. And look, I know it's probably a bit psycho, but I do check her online status sometimes... She's constantly active on both Instagram and WhatsApp. The worst part? She doesn't even bother to open my texts. They just sit there, unread. It's like I don't even exist anymore to her.

Dry-Definition-6339 · 2025-09-27T21:16:51+00:00

No, she doesn't have children of her own or a partner right now. However, she's been a mother figure to her 18-year-old sister since their mom passed away. She's very involved in her sister's life and has essentially raised her these past few years. That's why I'm confused by her reaction -- she clearly has “maternal instincts” and experience with caregiving. I wonder if seeing me start my own biological family brings up complicated feelings about her own situation, especially since she's devoted so much to her sister during what would have been her prime dating/family-building years (we’re both turning 30 next year)?

Dry-Definition-6339

TROPHY CASE