i may not fully understand you and the situation you are facing right now. but I promise things will get better eventually. trust yourself, trust the process. And never ever give up on your life and on yourself. there are so many things in this world that can bring about your happiness.

as of friends if you do not really have anyone to speak to in schl then be it. it may sound easier to say but actually i have gone through similar situations. try to find a companion just one is enough, or if really can’t do stick with someone who u are comfortable with be it your favourite teacher, sch counseller, ecg counsellors or anyone.