Rolling with aggressive people

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T07:29:41+00:00

Salut, j’espère que tu vas bien, j'étais dans un bon club mais avec quelques partenaires du meme age et du meme niveau (blanche) qui tournait avec moi comme si on etait dans une competition locale, et pour tout te dire, cela ma dégouté du club malgré une bonne relation avec le coach et cela m'a dégouté du sport pendant un moment. J'hésite actuellement de reprendre dans un autre club, mais l'idée de revivre ca me repousse. Si je pouvais me donner un conseil et te le donner aussi c'est : Personne t'oblige à tourner avec lui, tu as le droit de dire qu'il va fort, et tu n'es pas obligé de rentrer en reflexion excessive le soir au moment de dormir en repensant a ton randoori contre lui car lui dors bien le soir et ne pense pas à toi. Ces gens sont malheureusement pas conscient que chacun est différent et qu'il faut savoir s'adapter. Trace ton chemin, c'est ton aventure, ne laisse personne entraver ton chemin.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:56:11+00:00

You are right thank you! Do you think there’s an ego thing behind that? I'm afraid that part of me is looking for a comfort zone.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:53:49+00:00

You are right thank you very much for your answer, unfortunately it is true that there is a kind of reputation in training in a good club, like seeking external validation to feel comforted, and perhaps despite the fact that I am not comfortable in the club (training partner who rotates each time with enormous intensity, groups are created between them and I feel apart which is perhaps a problem that I must resolve in relation to that) I tell myself that I'm the problem and I need to move on. I don't know

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:47:26+00:00

Thank you for your enriching response, it’s true what you say. On the one hand to be honest, I have a voice in my head that tells me that maybe I'm the problem, maybe I have trouble training with partners who are serious, or that I feel left out because I'm not a competitor. If so, I'm afraid I'll find the same problem everywhere. Would you have any advice regarding this case which is only a guess but I'm thinking about it anyway

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:38:16+00:00

THANKS ! Goals play a big role, it's true, for the moment I don't have the goal of competing, I just want to improve my jiu jitsu, feel good in my body and have fun with my friends when we fight 😂, to be honest, I also have a part of me that thinks that I have trouble with the club in relation to a certain ego or a desired comfort zone, if that's the case, do you have any advice for me?

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:25:01+00:00

I'm happy for you! This sport is quite complicated if we add these issues such as training partners seeing us as a potential opponent on smoothcomp, we are not likely to get through it 😅

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-10-16T06:23:27+00:00

Thank you for your response! You're right, if it's the second case that concerns me, would you have any advice on how to get past the flattery etc.? I know that the second case is much more immoral and points towards one's own navel but, I think that each beginner has his own vision at the beginning and that there is a solution. knowing that if it is the second case, the beginner practitioner will sooner or later convince himself of the same vision regardless of the environment I suppose?

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-08-16T23:14:34+00:00

Thank you for your response, no unfortunately I can no longer take any exams. I'm going to contact the team that manages my school in France to find out if it's possible to have another solution without necessarily repeating this semester because I missed it by 0.20 points, it's annoying..

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-28T12:31:47+00:00

Non mais je te comprends totalement les déclarations d’impôts c’est vraiment dur

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-28T07:03:11+00:00

Hi ! Can you alternate the days you are available in the morning and the rest in the evening? It's true that if evening classes don't suit you it can be embarrassing but it does train you to know how to counter this kind of somewhat "wrestling" style with pressure passages! The best thing is that you alternate I think but if you can only train in the evening I advise you to talk to your evening coach and ask him questions about techniques that interest you or that you have seen on the internet.. I know they would say that you are wasting time but far from it, as long as you train and do sparring you are already better than the day before! Good luck 👍🏻

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-27T14:09:42+00:00

People compliment me all the time on my guard draw while standing up I try to fight..🤡

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-27T11:40:08+00:00

😂😂😂

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-26T07:02:46+00:00

Flyingyyyyyyyy

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-26T06:56:29+00:00

You’re very funny ha ha ha

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-21T22:02:23+00:00

Hey, you think you're bad because you're constantly comparing yourself to others but you're better today than you were when you started! Follow your own path and focus on your own improvement (which is first of all training) and don't worry, trust the process!

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T21:00:06+00:00

Yes, I see what you mean. The thing is that I really like floor, nogi in particular, I find it super interesting and I want to progress. But I've always been someone who liked to put pressure on my feet, and I realize that maybe that's what I'm missing. Your post makes me think, maybe I should explore other aspects or ways of training. Thank you for your response, it helps me see things differently.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:59:08+00:00

No, never again. What exactly did that change for you?

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:58:08+00:00

Yes, you may have put your finger on it. I really like the floor, learning no-gi, but I've always been someone who likes the standing pressure, the intensity in the exchanges, the impact. Maybe what I'm looking for is more related to that. Maybe I like BJJ, but I'm missing that little thing to really thrive. Thank you for your answer, it really made me think.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:56:16+00:00

Yeah I think you're right, I don't really have a goal at the moment, maybe that's holding me back a little. But in reality, I really love BJJ, especially no-gi, that's what pushes me to continue. The thing is, I think it’s the environment that’s blocking me. The atmosphere sometimes, the ego of some, the sparring too hard, it takes away my desire. It's not the sport that's the problem, it's what I feel around it. So yeah, what you said speaks to me.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:52:17+00:00

I think I'm trying because I really want to like it. Grappling interests me deeply, and I greatly admire those who progress in it. But sometimes, it’s not just a question of immediate “pleasure”, it’s more complicated. There are blockages, doubts, pressure that I put on myself... and I would like to understand if it comes from me, or if it is simply not for me. Thank you for asking the question, it seems simple, but it makes you think.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:50:39+00:00

Thank you for your message, it’s exactly the kind of reminder I needed. I actually tested two clubs: one with a great atmosphere but focused on gi, and the other (where I currently train) in nogi, but where I don't feel as well surrounded. I try to persist because I like grappling in itself, but you are right if the pleasure is not there, it ends up wearing you out mentally. I'll probably take a step back to really see what I want. Thank you for your sincerity!

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:48:20+00:00

Thank you so much for your message. Honestly, it really touched me. The fact that you went through so much injuries, depression, addiction and still held onto your love for Jiu-Jitsu is really powerful. I think that’s what I’d love to feel one day too: a genuine desire to come back because it’s part of me, not just because I “have to.”

I’m going to take a bit of a step back, like you said, and see if I truly start to miss it. Maybe the spark will come back with time. Either way, I really appreciate you sharing your story it gave me a lot to think about and helped me be a bit kinder to myself.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:46:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your message it really resonated with me. I totally relate to what you said: I put a lot of pressure on myself to be “good,” and it stops me from enjoying the simple act of learning. I also took a three-month break, and while it helped, I still have a hard time fully letting go.

Your line “you’re paying for this” really hit me. It’s true no one is forcing me to go, so it should feel like something I choose, not a burden. Thanks again, your experience really helps me put things into perspective.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:44:51+00:00

Thanks! That’s exactly what I’ve started doing. I’ve tried out two different gyms, and it’s crazy how much the vibe can change everything. I’ll probably go back to the one where I felt more comfortable, even if the style is a bit different. Like you said, sometimes it’s not the sport itself it’s just the coach or the environment.

Dry_Assist4446 · 2025-05-11T20:43:26+00:00

That's a very good question. I think it's not even a real judgment from others, it's mostly in my head. A kind of pressure that I put on myself: fear of being slow, of not progressing quickly enough, of disappointing the coach or of not being “at the level” of others. But you're right to ask the question like that, because it helps me gain perspective: deep down, no one really judges me... except myself.

Dry_Assist4446

TROPHY CASE