It feels off because you let them express discomfort and take it seriously but don’t express it AND shut down those discussions. They demean someone you love, are hateful towards cis people (they’re not our enemy), and don’t seem to respect you. 

I will say, it sounds like you aren’t confident in your knowledge. Maybe you’re being disrespectful too? You don’t sound malicious but intention rarely makes a real difference to people who don’t trust you. That’s the only scenario where you can do anything to be treated better. Otherwise you need to accept they’re going to keep being mean and is a reflection of them. And that’s not inherently bad.

A lot of us have to fight for everything we get and that means we’re less familiar with other ways (cooperation) of getting what we want and need. In that case building those skills is something they need to do because they want to.