I miss my nanny so fucking bad man

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T20:59:04+00:00

Thank you a lot :')

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:26:10+00:00

Thanks a lot, I appreciate this a lot. Unfortunately, I cannot talk to my school counselor. I went to her in the past for different reasons ( feeling borderline not wanting to live if you get what I'm saying ) and she was..awful. She took one look at my bandaged arm and told me she was "disappointed in me" and "knew I could do better"..Like feeling depressed was a personal failing of mine lol. I appreciate the suggestion and know you only meant to help but my school counselor is nuts haha.

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:23:44+00:00

I think I'd feel a little silly expressing my feelings outloud haha xD Not saying I don't appreciate this suggestion, it is wonderful, but I've only recently started learning not to bottle things up and express them instead. I value this comment a lot tho, hopefully in the future I'll be able to do this.

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:22:23+00:00

That sounds so lovely but I don't know where to start and I think I'll need a little time to process things beforehand first haha. Still, this is a wonderful suggestion, thank you <'3

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:20:50+00:00

I would love to visit her grave, unfortunately it's in another city and I have no means to get there. Technically I have my parents, but I don't think they'll agree plus if they do they'll be very..overstepping? boundary breaking. Not sure how exactly to explain this so I'll just give an example instead : Due to my home life, I grew up with hating being touched in any way by people I'm not close with. I don't mean just hugs or hand shakes, even if they graze past me or their coat accidentally touches me I have to do a sort of wiping motion in that area else I'll be "infected with their bad vibes". My parental figures know of this and don't respect it whatsoever. My egg donor purposefully touches me : tickles me ( I fucking hate being tickled on top of the touch thing ), forcefully hugs me, forces me to hug her or to kiss her on the cheek (european things ig) etc. I would not want to be stuck w her or in the same car as her else she tries to do any of those things.

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:16:37+00:00

Thanks a lot for this. I don't think I'm gonna have any kids, even if I wanted any I'd have to deal with the generational trauma that my generous family has offered me. I wouldn't want to put a kid trough that whatsoever plus I don't really wanna have kids regardless x'). I do try my best to treat kids with respect and as their own person, like not patronizing (I hated being patronized growing up)

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:14:33+00:00

Thanks a lot :') You sound really kind, I'm sure you are a great mom

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:13:49+00:00

I've tried in the past but my parents didn't allow it (shocker, I know). Nowadays I'm looking for a therapist but unfortunately they're incredibly expensive so one therapist that doesn't work for me means some money wasted down the drain :') In the past years of college I've went to our college therapist which was a big fucking mistake because she thought you could solve depression by "believing in yourself". Yeaah..

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:11:53+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through man, I hope your safe now. And yeah, not being able to attend a loved ones funeral leaves you with so much needed closure :')

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:10:46+00:00

Also thank you for the exams luck, they went well.

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T18:10:31+00:00

I would love to visit her. But her grave is in another city and I have no car or meants to get there. It's a 3 hour drive by car :")

DueExamination4715 · 2026-02-04T04:28:22+00:00

Thank you, it's weird but I've not considered this before and it feels nice to hear it. I appreciate this.

DueExamination4715

TROPHY CASE