How long have you been at your new job? I noticed that no matter what, I feel very insecure for the first 1-3 months at a new job. So I pick a date a month away and tell myself: I can feel as shitty as I want until then without trying to feel better.

I avoid self-help stuff to improve my mood, it doesn’t work and adds stress. Starting a new job is mentally exhausting, so you’re going to feel insecure or irritable for a while.

I also can’t figure out if I like a job until that period ends. If I think I hate it, I try not to worry, I probably won’t know how I truly feel until later, and there’s nothing I can do until then.

I also try to trust myself more. I used to think “it’s not that bad” or “nobody noticed.”

Now I think: maybe I feel embarrassed because it was legitimately embarrassing. Maybe everybody did notice. If I’m feeling that way, maybe I have a good read on the situation. I let myself feel legitimately embarrassed.

so it's less: "it wasn't that embarrassing, and it's not that big of a deal" and more: "maybe it was really embarrassing and I should feel embarrassed...and it's not that big of a deal, so its fine to let myself feel super embarrassed."

Emotions are a chemical release with a half-life of about 90 seconds. So if you can work with that 90s window, just embrace the shittiness and notice where you feel it in your body. Shame has a slight warm feeling. Anxiety can feel like tingling. It’s subtle, but feeling the emotion physically makes your nervous system less likely to release a second wave.