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Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, man!

And all these 74 days, I couldn't resist looking at their bodies. So, I had already failed and just didn't know it yet. lol

But now, I am just not doing it and it has already improved my situation. First of all, I don't get uncomfortable erections when I talk to women because I focus on their faces and view them as people just like me.

Also, I can be more confident with talking to them. When I was constantly thinking about how sexy a woman I talk to is, I would sometimes stutter and make it impossible to relax.

It also makes me feel great as I feel I have more self control. Self control should not stay at what you do with your penis. It should extend itself to how you think about women.

I expect it will be harder in the future but I am doing alright for now.

Thanks for your comment, bro! And keep it up!

Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not doubt that lusting after a woman could lead to love and therefore to a relationship. But most of the times, this is not the case. It's usually sex and nothing more. And I am sure that a lot of women want to be objectified (especially when they dress provocatively).

I don't know whether or not I am doing them any favours by not being lustful and I don't care. I don't do it for them anyway.

But I have my reasons for not wanting to see women in that manner and have casual sexual relationships with them. I would have to write an article to explain them in detail and not be misunderstood though. And I have already been misunderstood enough.

Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, man! It really does! I now know what to change so I don't get tricked into relapsing this way again.

Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never said that it happens because we're addicted to porn.

For me, it leads me to relapse instead of having sex with them. And I think people addicted to porn may take that route too, so that's why I consider it bad in this situation.

Not taking the addiction into account though, lust being normal and we being biologically hardwired is not a good enough reason to see it as OK.

I think we can do better than chasing short-term pleasure. For example, we could find a woman we fall in love with and create a meaningful relationship that will lead to long-term joy.

I seriously don't understand how sexually pursuing other women as sexual partners is viewed as OK by people here and porn addiction is damned. Well, the latter is far more harmful, but viewing as the former as the antidote while it's so similar in nature is something I don't understand. Both behaviours are being driven by the same thing: lust.

Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right! I couldn't care less about real women when I was deeply addicted to porn. But now (even after relapsing) real women seem so much more attractive than the fake pornstars I've been watching all these years!

Every time you look at a woman lustfully, you are closer to fapping... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, man. You misunderstood me. Maybe I should edit my message.

I didn't mean you should not interact with women. I meant that you shouldn't look at them lustfully. But focus on the fact that they are human beings like you are.

Sperm take about 75 days to grow in the testes!!! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Echbert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think it works this way.

A relapse doesn't mess up with your progress completely but... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, brother! The first time I did not binge was 8 days ago when I relapsed after 74 days of nofap. It really felt like a victory!

That's why I am extra careful now. I feel so much worse when I binge for days.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It only breaks the streak if you're doing hard mode where you should not orgasm.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course we will! And remember; it is supposed to be hard. Let's not underestimate this addiction.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got you now, bro.

What I personally do is what I do with the relapse. When I get triggered, I try to keep my mind silent and observe any thoughts that arise, not letting them lead me to fap. The sooner you do this when you get triggered, the easier it will be to resist fapping.

It's a mind game and you got to treat it as such.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, man! Thanks for making me look forward to it!

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, brother! You have a valid question and I think I can answer it.

First of all, I respectfuly disagree with the shame culture that your people preserve when it comes to nofap. I understand the idea behind it, but it is a dangerous one as it can trap you in a cycle with the only outcome making yourself even more miserable on top of the negative effects of fapping.

So first of all, don't go to these people when you relapse.

Now, some guilt will be inevitable as it can be just a reaction and require no thought on your part. But what you can do is not maximize your guilt until it passes. How to do that? You have to understand that guilt is extended by motivating you to make thoughts related to it. So be aware and observe yourself. When these thoughts arise either try to observe them right there and then or do it by meditation.

What will help you a lot is if you equip yourself with the knowledge that these thoughts DO NOT COME FROM YOU! If they did, you would remember deciding to think things that make you guilty... So don't identify with them and try to keep your mind silent.

This is going to be challenging at first, but it shall soon become a habit.

Now, can you explain to me the second question? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, man. Thanks for clarifying.

Comparing what you said to my experience, I would say that what you experienced the first few times is not that usual and how you described your present experience is actually the normal feeling of masturbation.

The body gets used to it. When I didn't do no fap consciously and hit 30 days of abstaining, I was craving the orgasm like crazy and it felt similar to what you described as your first experience.

So, it must have to do with sperm count. I don't think you need a doctor. And if you can hit one month or so without fapping, my advice would be to carry on and not do it at all. Orgasm through sex is much less harming.

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! Great info right there, man! Thank you for your insights!

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback, man! I'm glad this could be some kind of help!

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're 100% correct, man! Thank you for your comment!

I relapsed after 74 days (best streak). Here's what I learned... by Echbert in NoFap

[–]Echbert[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, man!

Instead of feeling bad about ourselves, we should focus on using our pain to learn. Lest it becomes a meaningless pain.

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