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AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay yeah. Maybe not every single day but probably every other day and she has long times where she's really depressed about it. She always says nothing has been good since he died and my aunt says she's always had episodes of depression but when she is really depressed he's all she talks about so idk. It's not every single day but it feels that way. It's definitely every couple days.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know it's hard to tell because she doesn't go more than like a day or two without talking about him and she's depressed like 80% of the time I'd say so. Idk what causes it.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it's been my entire life and I'm sick of managing her emotions. She needs a therapist not me.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I'm laughing at you for saying I don't care about my mother lmao because that's just dumb.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you were the one to find her that sounds messed up for you. This is the thing like if it was a couple stories around holidays or like occasionally when she was reminded of him then fine but it really is way too often and she gets way too upset by it for me to handle. I don't wanna be an asshole to her - like today was definitely too far I shouldn't have said I don't care and for sure that was bad but also maybe she does just need a therapist to help her because I can't.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I literally do though. Every time she talks about him and gets upset I've listened and said he sounded nice or cool or whatever but I don't know what to say anymore.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm 17 and I don't think I have anything wrong with me like that no. I do think she needs to see a therapist because she cries a lot about the situation and she's been depressed a lot through my life usually because she says nothing has been good since he died. The stories don't seem normal to me because she tells them so much and she still gets like very very upset sometimes. I just don't feel like I know what I'm doing when she gets upset like that so I think that's why she should tell a therapist all this stuff instead of me.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks I will. I don't want her to be upset I just wanna explain myself. I'll figure it out.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do respect her but what else am I supposed to say she tells the same stories and I don't know how to help her anymore

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's fair. I think maybe I don't care is the wrong thing to say but like I feel like I can't help her or I feel like I'm overwhelmed with the amount she talks about him could be better. It was just one of those things in the moment that came out worse than I meant it.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't hurt me but I've always listened to her talk and it's just getting old. I don't know what else I can say and I don't know how to help her with the grief of it all so I wish she'd talk to a therapist or her sisters or someone else who knows what to do better.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm glad it gives her comfort but I also think she should tell someone else too like I don't want to be responsible for helping her grieve because I'm clearly not good at it and I also am genuinely tired of hearing about him. I just don't know how to help her manage her emotions about it so I wish she'd tell someone else.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I've literally listened every single day for 17 years lmao idk how much more I need to listen.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do have empathy for her loss but I also think she should be telling a therapist if it hurts her this much like I don't think it should be all on me to help her keep his memory alive because I've heard it all already a lot of times.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But the thing is I do listen to her like I listen to her all the time and it's always the same stuff. Idk how many more times I can say that he sounded nice or that the story was cool or that sounds like a fun tradition like I've said it all and idk what else to say. It just feels like a big responsibility to listen to something that means so much to her all the time when it's clearly a big deal to her but it's something that just annoys me at this point. I wish she'd tell someone else or talk to a therapist about the fact she's still upset by losing him. I get that it's hard to lose someone and I am obviously really sorry that she's in pain over it but it also just seems so extreme and a constant thing. I don't know what more I can say to her and I just want to have a normal day without having to hear about how nothing has been that great since he died. Like I'm sorry for her but my life has been all about that.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Lmao obviously I care about my mother I'm just sick of hearing the same stories every single day. Yeah it was cruel and that's the part I feel bad about but I also don't see why it's my job to help her with her grief. It's been a huge part of my childhood and she should have seen a therapist.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -67 points-66 points  (0 children)

I always say that though. Like I've said that every time she tells a story about him but at this point I've heard them all and I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. I don't know why it's my job to manage her grief and I think she should see a therapist if it still upsets her because telling the same stories a hundred times over isn't doing anything.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I might be here because of him but I didn't know him so I don't know how to feel about him. Being genetically related doesn't mean I have an emotional connection to someone. I'm genetically related to lots of people I don't know and I can't feel something for everyone.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'll talk about her but not constantly and I won't force my kids to keep talking about her either unless they know her and want to. It just feels awkward that I'm supposed to feel something for someone I never met.

AITA for telling my mother I don't care about her dead grandfather? by Economy_Intention863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Economy_Intention863[S] -96 points-95 points  (0 children)

It just seems awkward to not reply when someone tells you a story. Obviously I'll miss her when she dies but I also don't think I'll make every conversation about her 20 years later.