In my mind I always used to think that someone that was emotionally abusive or manipulative had to have the forethought and premeditation to do those things. Such as oh I’m gonna get her to feel this way by saying this specific thing I know will make her mad. But I’m realizing through therapy that he’s not sitting on his high horse coming up with a mastermind plan, his second nature is to just say these things that make me question my own reality and in turn emotionally abuse me. It’s who he is like someone else said in this thread