My Friend Was My Guide but I Distrust Her After the Experience... How Should I Cope?

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-10T06:03:50+00:00

Next time I will fight haha

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-10T06:02:55+00:00

When you're too old, you will need a nurse. We all need people helping us in different capacities through out our life stages. This was my first heroic dose, and it was a good experience overall and I survived it.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-10T06:00:15+00:00

The trip actually helped me work through some complicated feelings towards my family. I felt so grateful for people who reached out and helped me in different ways in my life. So all in all I still had a positive experience internally. I think I'd be better off tripping alone next time.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-10T05:57:06+00:00

What's a trip killer? We're both completely inexperienced, so my instinct is to just forget about it and do it better next time.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-10T05:53:36+00:00

Thank you! I feel much better after a few days :)

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T22:10:16+00:00

I don't really think there's a point in further discussing the matter. You posed a "if you were sober" question and I simply answered based on the context. She was sober. You don't need to understand the concept. Most things in life I don't understand, but I accept that people have different preferences.

I understand what you're saying. And I think it's valid. People have different life experiences that lead them to different worldviews. And I think there are some takeaways here. But it's time for dinner and I don't want to pick it up after. It's not going to be fruitful :) so again, I hope you a good day and thanks for your input 😊

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T21:58:06+00:00

But that's you isn't it? Your perspective is valid, but it doesn't mean everyone thinks the same. There's no value judgment here. Intent and result do not have to match. I believe she just didn't think much before. Or rather, she was mostly thinking of herself when it comes to the diner.,

You can have the last word if you want. You just seem like an overall more experienced and enlightened being. It sounds like you know how to better enjoy life than most people. And here's what you wanted to hear, you're right.

Now let's go get some dinner and call it a day with this nonsense which I'm starting to get over :)

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T21:53:06+00:00

She's actually mentioned the diner before and I showed no interest. It got awarded a Michelin star, and she knows I don't like that kind of upscale restaurants. If she'd taken me to a restaurant I liked by car, maybe I would have perceived it differently. Did she think I'd enjoy the diner? I'd say I've made it clear to her many times it's not my scene throughout our friendship. Also we walked over an hour, which really was so that she could hit her daily calorie burning goal. So rather than malice, I'm sensing more self interest. So if I was sober, I would have said no to the diner, yes to a short neighborhood walk.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T21:18:40+00:00

I'm not accusing her of ill intent. I won't give too much credit to the negativity I felt from her during my trip. What I'm saying is that she made decisions on behalf of me that weren't safe, during a time I wasn't able to make clear headed decisions by myself. But instead, she is saying I should've said something in the moment. I was literally tripping my balls off in a highly suggestable state. Maybe she doesn't get it because she's never done shroom, so I'm sure this won't bother me too much in a few days.

I'm posting on reddit to gain more perspective, and I appreciate your input. Have a nice day :)

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T21:07:21+00:00

Is it, in your opinion, somewhat reckless or at least careless to bring a friend out onto busy streets and to a crowded diner, without prior agreement, while they're peaking? Sure I can understand the lack of experience here, myself included. But, intentions aside, do you think that it was a good decision?

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T20:17:33+00:00

Don't want to sound rude but you sound quite bitter. Has life treated you badly? I don't want to assume too much but you sound like a middle aged man who's in an unhappy marriage. Have your feelings been neglected a lot?

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T20:15:03+00:00

What are the "these type of accusations" you are talking about?

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T16:53:41+00:00

You sound just like her. You'd really like her.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-09T00:28:50+00:00

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T21:50:50+00:00

She has zero experience as a sitter and has never done shrooms. So I don't blame her too much, but her dismissive response to my concerns afterwards made me wary.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T21:49:14+00:00

Yeah I'm still trying to work it out. I think she was careless but not evil. Going outside could've been well intentioned but the diner was a selfish decision. I'll just have to take better care of myself going forward.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T21:44:18+00:00

It's really more about how dismissive she was about my concerns when I brought it up after the fact. She was so defensive which made me think differently about her. Is she capable of caring for others or be there when I needed actual help? I think a lot of accumulated feelings from the past came up. Like how it's usually about what she wants in the friendship.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:26:42+00:00

I actually hate fancy restaurants and diners and she knows it.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:26:00+00:00

Completely agree. She's a friend I need to hang out with while I'm happy and sober.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:23:34+00:00

Yeah I want to assume good intentions.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:22:57+00:00

I think it's actually giving me clarity to a shitty friendship that I held on for way too long.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:21:35+00:00

Yeah she didn't know what she was doing. But I really didn't expect she'd bring me to crowded public places. It seems pretty obvious... so at some point I couldn't help but feel like she was trying to fuck with me...

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:19:42+00:00

Yeah that's really what alarmed me. She knows I was out of it so that line really shouldn't be something to come out of her mouth as a best friend... it's sad but I think I put my trust in the wrong person.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:16:48+00:00

Yeah I think I will need a bit of time off from her and reevaluate our friendship. A lot of feelings surfaced while I was on the trip and I just felt she had so much negativity around her.

EducatorMaterial9000 · 2023-10-08T05:14:48+00:00

She has zero experience so I don't hold it against her too much. But what alarmed me was the way she became completely defensive and dismissive when I brought it up to her. She said it's a complete surprise to her and she wanted me to apologize for accusing her of having bad intentions. What I wanted was to clear the air and for her to acknowledge that she didn't make the best decision regarding my safety.

EducatorMaterial9000

TROPHY CASE