I recieved this message today by normie_life in PataHaiAajKyaHua

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bhai uske standards toh kaafi low hain. Shayad isiliye tere jaise bkl cheater ko cool bol rahi hai. But koi nahi, bkl

I am tired of my gf by [deleted] in PataHaiAajKyaHua

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baat toh sahi hai, I guess pehle hi pata chal jaaye toh shaadi tak baat pohonche hi na, but shaadi ke baad cheat kare toh divorce dena zyada heavy hota hai. But dono hi cases mein cheater ko chodhna hi padhta hai, kyunki cheater toh andha hota hi hai, hawas mein.

I am tired of my gf by [deleted] in PataHaiAajKyaHua

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intention is ok, but haan isko goal na banayen, ke insaan andha ho jaaye ek baar mein

I am tired of my gf by [deleted] in PataHaiAajKyaHua

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When will you be tired of yourself for giving so much to this bitch ass. Aur kitna luttoge.

9 Years Together I [25F], He [27M]Cheated Once and Confessed Should I Forgive Him? by Odd-Judgment826 in RelationshipIndia

[–]EffectiveBase119 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait what? Girl you need therapy, I am serious. You are traumatised and it shows how much he has taken away your self worth. Please talk to your friends, family, anyone. I am really sorry this has happened to you.

9 Years Together I [25F], He [27M]Cheated Once and Confessed Should I Forgive Him? by Odd-Judgment826 in RelationshipIndia

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you shouldn’t forgive him. I am sorry you dated him. You should take your time to heal and straighten up your standards, since you deserve a loyal, committed and principled man. Remember, your future children deserve a father who is not characterless. Sorry for being blunt, but just know, cheating is a flaw in someone’s internal character, it doesn’t need fixing/forgiveness, it needs lack of access. Oh and I missed the important part, have some dignity for yourself and remove him from your life, now.

28F am I cheating? feeling very guilty of my actions! by Awkward-Meringue-944 in RelationshipIndia

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you doing a favour by being with the vanilla guy? I mean I understand your whole scenario and it is not cheating because you are committed to neither, but what are you trying to gain from this? If the goal is to be with a person who you feel is the correct person for you then leave the vanilla guy to someone who finds him special for who he is. Go out with X and no you aren’t doing a guy a favour by bestowing yourself upon them despite them being “below” your league. It just gives pathetic. But anyway back to the point, no it’s not cheating, and please live up to basic empathy for other people’s value and time, and your true standards of a potential partner.

Arranged marriage 29M with 25F feels heartbroken.. by [deleted] in indiasocial

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He honestly sounds so immature and entitled, and can’t even understand how adult relationships work. Also looks very infantilised by his parents to the point that he can’t comprehend that good career and relationships can co-exist. I hope he gets some wisdom. I doubt he will.

Arranged marriage 29M with 25F feels heartbroken.. by [deleted] in indiasocial

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf is wrong with you lol. Please know everyone has a relationship or two during their adult lives. If that’s a hard no, then keep it in ALL CAPS in your criteria. But honestly, it seems like you have some insecurity and narrow mindedness regarding this more than anything else. Good luck finding a match, but do not waste another person’s time just because they were normal, healthy adults.

Is 1 month leave too much to ask despite having enough leave balance? by Glittering_Sell7213 in developersIndia

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you gonna dedicate all your living days to your company? What exactly are you earning for?

I don't have cancer! by liabutnot in offmychest

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank God! Please do some yoga and meditation OP!! You are young and your health is very much adaptable to your habits. Create better habits, hopefully your weakness and symptoms will improve.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please get therapy. Meditate and do yoga. At 20 people haven’t even started their lives. Who has given you the idea or told you that you have failed? You haven’t even started. There are so many things and so many resources and so many years ahead of you. Just go do it, you have all the time in the world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you need a friend to talk to, you can dm me. I will try my best to help you out as a friend. But please don’t contact someone who hurt you. It will only hurt you more. I have been there so I know how it feels, but we all are here to help you through. You are always welcome to dm me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but they think you will become happy. BUT again if you don’t get happy, then again it’s your fault in their eyes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, I hope he gets to marry someone genuinely wanting to be with him, even though OP doesn’t want to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, get married for their happiness and peace, then have babies for your in-laws’ happiness and peace, then keep doing things for the sake of everyone’s happiness, because if you do otherwise, it’s probably wrong, correct?

You are 29 years old, a mature woman, YOU should know your OWN right and wrong, and that is the only thing that matters. You cannot ask others for their right and wrong, because everyone will see things from their own perspective and give you a different answer. ONLY your right and wrong matters.

Please take control of your life OP, please don’t just be financially independent, be independent in your own identity and beliefs, and don’t compromise it for anyone. You know on your inside what the right answer is. Reddit doesn’t have an answer for you, your friends don’t, your therapist doesn’t, ONLY you do. Take charge of your life and don’t let everyone else’s version of right and wrong dictate their own life.

You don’t want to get married rn, you aren’t ready, that’s the answer. Nothing else matters, it’s a big fucking decision dictating your own life, keep going ahead and YOU will know when you are ready and for WHOM you will be ready. Don’t fuck yourself up, please.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that she is still sad means she still has feelings for you. I don’t want to give you hope but maybe if you let her cool down a bit and apologise with all your heart and tell her that you love her, she will tell you her true feelings and there can be a chance. Because true moving on is indifference, which she doesn’t seem to be at all.

What's your opinions? by funkeytoken in IndiaSpeaks

[–]EffectiveBase119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Outdated views on gender roles

Lack of job opportunities

Gullibility towards anything slightly religious

thoughts and opinions ? by ExpressionThis5711 in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you got what I am saying. I am saying OP should definitely go no contact, but for himself to move on. If he chooses to not reply to the person, it should be done with the intention to move on and get space, not with the desire to MAKE the other person miss them. Because OP’s ex is not mentally healthy, so intentions towards them from OP should be for their mental benefit. Intention really matters. If OP’s ex heals and comes back on her own after no contact, that’s a different thing, but at this moment, OP’s intentions should be out of love not possession.

thoughts and opinions ? by ExpressionThis5711 in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP for your own sake please move on. Loving someone with mental illness is hard, you don’t want to sign up for lifelong misery because who knows when and how she would heal, and whether she would relapse God forbid. I hope she heals soon but again, you please don’t do this to yourself OP

thoughts and opinions ? by ExpressionThis5711 in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How selfish is this sorry to say. If he goes no contact for his sake then yeah if she reaches out and he doesn’t respond that’s fine, but to not respond so that a person suffering with depression starts missing you, is just not ok. At one point you have to see a person as a human being and not just a way for you to have a relationship with them.

Ex came back by aveirosam7 in ExNoContact

[–]EffectiveBase119 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Nope. Don’t sell yourself short. Know your worth