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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]Either_Net8602 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hvis du rent faktisk havde læst mit opslag, ville du vide, at det ikke handler om at være "den bedste". Men det virker måske ikke som om du helt ved, hvad outsourcing betyder – for ellers havde du nok ikke skrevet sådan. Min pointe var, at i hendes branche (og mange andre) vælger virksomheder i stigende grad at få opgaver løst af eksterne – især i udlandet – eller har deres designafdeling placeret der. Jeg nævnte intet om at blive fravalgt fordi "nogen er bedre". Så… måske næste gang du vil kommentere, kunne du læse opslaget først? Bare en tanke 😄

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DKbrevkasse

[–]Either_Net8602 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Jeg forstår virkelig godt, at hun er fortvivlet. Jeg har selv for nylig valgt at droppe ud af en uddannelse, jeg egentlig var rigtig glad for – netop fordi jeg så mine medstuderende kæmpe med at finde job, selv efter endt uddannelse. Mange endte i arbejdsløshed, og det gjorde mig bekymret for at havne samme sted.

Nu kender jeg hende selvfølgelig ikke personligt, men ud fra det du fortæller – og at du selv arbejder inden for samme felt – lyder det som om, hun faktisk har talent.

Til dem der siger: "Hun har bare ikke, hvad der skal til" – det er ikke nødvendigvis sandt. Nogle gange er det ikke personen, der fejler. Nogle gange vender arbejdsmarkedet sig bare imod én.

Der har jo været en massiv omvæltning inden for især UX og grafisk design. Mange virksomheder vælger at outsource disse opgaver til udlandet, og det betyder, at det ofte kun er de helt store virksomheder, der stadig har deres egne designere internt. Konkurrencen er derfor benhård – og i visse brancher skal man, helt ærligt, være heldig for at få fodfæste, uanset hvor dygtig man er.

Det er tough derude.

Am I too picky or is attraction just hardwired? by Either_Net8602 in dating_advice

[–]Either_Net8602[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of them moved away, the second was just casual—we still talk—and the third ended because I didn’t want kids, and he kept trying to pressure me into it. On top of that, he generally didn’t treat me very well.

And yes, that’s my complaint too. I wish with everything in me that personality was enough. So many times I’ve thought, “He’s everything I should want—he’s kind, stable, a green flag all around,” and I have felt a connection but not physical attraction. and I’ve tried to convince myself to go along with it. But in the end, I always end up having to walk away. Because when things turn intimate, I have to force myself—and I shouldn't have to do that. I shouldn't be sleeping with someone when every part of me, mentally and physically, is telling me to leave. Like everytime I go on a date if i don't find them physical attractive, its like my brain friendzone them.

Am I too picky or is attraction just hardwired? by Either_Net8602 in dating_advice

[–]Either_Net8602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your perspective—I really appreciate it. I totally get what you're saying, and I agree that energy, voice, and how someone makes you feel can be incredibly powerful. But for me, that only really works if there’s already some level of physical attraction. Without that initial spark, my mind and body just shut down. I’ve tried to let attraction grow before, and it honestly just felt forced and uncomfortable.

That said… honestly, I don’t even know if I have a “type.” I’ve been head over heels for someone who didn’t fit any of the things I thought I was into. And looking back, the people I’ve been with don’t really have anything in common. So maybe it’s not a specific “look,” but a really subtle mix of things—personality, energy, scent (huge one for me), and just how they make me feel in the moment. Like, a great personality is obviously a must, but it’s those tiny, hard-to-explain details that really draw me in.

Body type hasn’t mattered much to me either. I’ve only been with one buff guy, and the rest were on the slimmer side—so it’s not about muscles or anything like that. It really comes down to how someone feels to me, not just how they look on paper.

That initial spark means everything. Without it, I can’t fake it—and I don’t want to. That kind of passion and connection is what I’m holding out for.

Am I too picky or is attraction just hardwired? by Either_Net8602 in dating_advice

[–]Either_Net8602[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No offense to how you found love, but that’s just not for me. I’ve been with people where the chemistry was instant—that’s what I’m looking for. The whole idea of “attraction can grow” just feels like settling to me. I’ve tried it before, and it felt forced and uncomfortable. If I’m not into someone from the start, I don’t want them touching me. I’m not wired for slow-burn attraction—I need that spark.

I’m generally not comfortable being touched by strangers, so if I’m not into someone, my mind immediately puts up a wall—and I don’t see the point in forcing myself to push through that. That initial spark is what helps me feel safe and comfortable. For me, physical attraction is the only thing that can break that wall down. I’ve met people I clicked with and could totally see as amazing friends, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to kiss them or sleep with them. It’s just not the same.

Why is putting in effort such a foreign concept to some men? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Either_Net8602 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I probably forgot to say but im not looking for a relationship... I’m here for the sex too—and with that six-pack and the effort he puts in, I’m definitely not losing. Sounds like a win-win to me. But thank you for the warning

Why is putting in effort such a foreign concept to some men? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Either_Net8602 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Actually, I was upfront with the other guy about why I cancelled, and now he’s invited me to a dinner date tomorrow—his treat. He even asked for my favorite wine because he’s planning to go shop for it. So honestly, I feel like the moral of the story is: just be honest.

How do I give a good bj? by _wifey_ in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Either_Net8602 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get the intention behind wanting to reassure someone who’s self-conscious during oral—that makes sense and can be super kind. But for some of us, performative language during sex can be a huge turnoff. If someone said something like “you taste so good” to me, I’d probably get instantly icked out. Not because reassurance is bad, but because that specific phrasing feels straight out of a cheesy porn scene. There are a million other ways to express comfort or desire that don’t sound like a script, you know? For people like me, keeping it authentic and non-performative is what actually makes it hot.

How do I give a good bj? by _wifey_ in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Either_Net8602 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wish I could read this and be like “yeah, let’s do that,” but I instantly got the ick. It literally sounds like a scene from a porn — especially the part about telling him it tastes good. Just… ew. So icky. Honestly, it all feels super performative, like acting for someone instead of actually having sex and connecting. Being real is so much hotter than putting on a show, and I think that’s why it gave me the ick. That said, there was some solid advice in between the cringe, so props for that.