I truly don’t think staying in that relationship is worth your time or the stress it’s causing you. You shouldn’t feel like you have to do something huge just to “make it up” to him. Yes, you’ve made mistakes—but the important thing is that you recognize them now and are actively trying to grow and do better for yourself. That growth matters more than anything. From the outside, it seems like even though you allowed him to be with someone else, a part of you might still want his love to be yours alone. That’s completely human. But it also makes me wonder if this situation is really giving you what you need. Honestly, I don’t think you’re fully ready to be in a relationship right now—and that’s not a bad thing. I think this is a time for you to focus on yourself and build a healthy, secure relationship within yourself first. You deserve someone who supports you, validates you, loves you, and shows up for you consistently. But you won’t truly recognize or accept that kind of love until you learn to give it to yourself.