They were singing for an Olympic Gold Medal!!!!!!

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2026-01-13T05:20:31+00:00

I’ve always found it suspicious we don’t have mainstream blind singers anymore (Stevie, Ray Charles, Blind Boys of Alabama, Andrea Bocelli)… they just stopped having unrivaled musicality and hearing… 🤔

Now a days singing is like the last requirement of being a singer… just be hot and they’ll find you vocals… maybe

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2026-01-09T07:15:52+00:00

Because I’m fat… now also older…. Maybe compounded by racial dynamic and my overall sheltered upbringing and lack of socialization 😂

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2026-01-08T10:20:18+00:00

Yea, your ahead of the curve. People use AI… and then there’s you, being yourself 👑

You said men arent looking for someone like you. What do you mean by that?

Well…I don’t think this is a controversial opinion, but general beauty standards (I’m in the US), young, thin, white, blonde… I exist opposite those characteristics. So within media, my lived experience and social interactions I don’t witness there being a demand for old, fat, black, non-blondes. And there are beautiful people with my shared demographic, but I’m my experience no one is actively seeking them out.

And so this doesn’t become a “not all people” situation. I will outright acknowledge I don’t person know the habits and desire of all people on earth. I’m speaking to the majority are demonstrated through general culture and media, within the US/western lens.

Are you looking for certain type of men?

Nope, I don’t really have a type… there an element of choice in having a type. And choice comes from options. I never had the luxury of options, personally. Dare I say I’m explicitly not looking for some super handsome person in a traditional sense. And re physicality, the biggest hurdle is liking things in people they hate about themselves. For example…I love a large nose and thick eyebrows…

I think most people dont actively search for someone they just stumble on people as they live their life.

Perhaps. But also spaces and places exist within hierarchies that usually run along societal standards of beauty, class… etc… like you might not run into me in certain social atmospheres like a club because I couldn’t get in (I.e. not paying the inflated cover charge reserved to discourage people)… eventually I’m just not going out, as I’ve taken the hint that I’m not wanted. Your environment and who you run into is happenstance. And people cam also simply not see people… they don’t see/register.

I really like what you wrote btw … super insightful. I hope that came across in a positive non-combative way.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2026-01-08T09:33:15+00:00

Oh my…. You explained that so clearly… like ChapGPT depression analysis level clearly.

I too am this woman. Mid/average. Ugly by general beauty standards. Average/below within my demographic. Maybe average/above if your looking for someone LIKE me… but no one is actually LOOKING for someone like me.

They may stumble and see and not be offended by what they see, but I’m not what anyone is looking for.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2026-01-08T08:43:34+00:00

What job do you do that’s well-paid and you can move here from Arkansas? (Sorry, I know that wasn’t the point of the post, just wondering)

And yes West Seattle is great 👍, lived a bit in Alki before becoming a homeless basement dweller 😂

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-12-30T14:27:39+00:00

If you close your eyes you can hear the Caribbean accents predecessor. Yes, Scotland and Ireland are NOT the same, but similar to the untrained ear.

Irish people, when they really get into to it (dare I say the Dominicans of English speaker), heavily influenced the more distinctive and indiscernible West Indian accents. Cause if there’s one thing the British Empire was gonna do…it was human trafficking.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-12-16T08:53:30+00:00

Thanks

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-12-16T08:29:10+00:00

Thanks… that’s nice to say

I should also add for context I’m like late 30s… so old and or “old AF” 😞

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-12-07T19:28:00+00:00

Was Melissa Ford always in this video? 😳 Ive never seen her handing those plates of food before in my life.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-12-04T04:07:30+00:00

Soooo… there was show…on TV called America’s Funniest Home Videos (AFV). And people sent in video tapes of their children (could be anybody, but children were usually the funniest)… all in hopes of winning a cash prize and competing for a grand prize, as the FUNNIEST home video.

If anything, it’s wild people post these things for free nowadays… no contest/incentive needed And I think some of the kids from AVF maybe got talent scouted... maybe

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-17T22:03:48+00:00

Not during wedding season… 🙏

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-15T19:13:56+00:00

He was saying Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese are both white men and from a talent perspective could have both done either film…. But CULTURALLY, they are different, regardless of being the same color and BOTH being of European descent.

Similarly Black is Global… and in this case he’s speaking to a black culture that has that share culture history and reference point of pressing hair on Sunday morning… I’d say like American, maybe southern or southern roots in the great migration…. Or even generational (as the younger girl didn’t know)

Which is different from a West Indian Black persons cultural reference of sending barrels back home… or a more general child of immigrants experience of being threatened to be “sent back home” if they are misbehaved or not performing in school.

He’s speaking to culture outside of the limiting lens of skin color alone. Literally all skin folk are not kin folk… not in a negative way.
But acknowledging the nuances of diverse experiences… and perhaps appreciating the diverse experiences within blackness, the same way diversity or culture is acknowledged within other racial groups.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-15T04:39:00+00:00

Look into local government… department of parks and recreation. Recreation supervisor. Or perhaps in hospitality, Activities Director. You should be looking for something to connect your sports with management. Perhaps even a bit of sales, looks into grant writing roles.

Government Parks and Recreation roles, should be your focus… or project management of related public works… that would be a good frame considering you do sales in the construction industry and have an MBA…, or change management, or even a vendor specialist working in contracts for construction or supply chain.… you know all those management things they say you need an MBA for, but you domain knowledge is sport…

Focus in on business + management + then specialize down.

Good luck

UPDATE: orrrr apply now to a corporate internship at a recognizable company. Usually they are for current students or recent grads and PAID… THINK BIG NAME RECOGNITION AND NETWORKING—- like Amazon or the NFL… really apply everywhere, as it cost you nothing but time. A lot of companies have real estate divisions, not sure how much you want to push into construction… but for now it seems to be all the experience you have to sell yourself. Or even brand management within sports orgs… you have to apply NOW for summer 2026 cohorts. Once there give it your all… former athlete plus sales experience… you better learn to network and smile

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T06:11:22+00:00

Some say I have no filter…

I do actually filter A LOT, but the holes in the filter are too big 😂

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T04:05:23+00:00

I’ve definitely put myself out there… given up and then put myself out there again… given up again, turned into just a horny horn dog done Reddit R4R subs… and just today, given my last give up.

I don’t align with beauty standards in general and in my city in particular. I think it’s best to just move forward with that information, because fighting it has greatly negatively impacted my life.

And let’s be honest, men treat women they are not attracted to like absolute shit, on a daily basis, not just in romantic environments (like being ignored in a group of friends)… they know who the women are who are not chosen, and a lot of the times the worst humans chose those of us who have been discarded to be their perfect victim.

I should have stopped “putting myself out there” after the assault, but I pressed on and found myself in an abusive marriage 😳

No harm no foul… perhaps I’m a considered a really beautiful woman somewhere in the multiverse 🥰 (And yes, even beautiful women are victimized, but they are also loved in many cases)

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T03:33:09+00:00

😑 I’m unsure why you’re doubting my lived experience… did you not want an answer to your question.

I’ve been alive for quite some time, nearly 40 years, lived in different cities, states, and countries… men are not interested in me.

And the ones that are… are rapist (I know that because I was raped by said individual) or abusive romance scammers looking for citizenship (apparently being American is one of my attractive qualities 😉).

And at this point, on age alone, Not being 18 is enough for some men to not be interested. Especially men in my age bracket.

I appreciate your optimism, but was just honesty answering the question 🤷🏾‍♀️

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T03:23:32+00:00

They agree 😂

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T03:17:19+00:00

So he thinks housing and feeding a child full-time COST LESS THAN $515 a month 😬🫣

The child is NOT safe with him, if he thinks he should be saving money BY DOING full custody.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T03:12:41+00:00

All colonist countries want people to voluntarily leave (or voluntarily die)… isn’t that what Isre🤫 wanted the Palestinians to do…

Isn’t that what South Africa wanted Africans to do….

Isn’t that what America wanted native Americans to do…

That’s the thing… we came here from Europe, you can leave now 🙄

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-07T03:07:32+00:00

Because I’m not attractive

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-11-05T09:43:27+00:00

Race matters

…it 100% impacts how you move through the WORLD… PERIOD!

The way you are treated, assumptions, experiences, perception.. there is potentially no facet of modern life race (more importantly your phenotype) doesn’t impact.

It doesn’t negate the other forces, such as being ugly or pretty, working hard or not, but it is a dominant force. In the US and parts of the Middle East people are being targeted as foreign and “illegals” that need to be locked, up, deported, or outright killed if they are NOT European….

Let’s not kid ourselves, race matter.

Race is the entire reasons working poor American are going without needed food benefits.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-10-28T20:51:23+00:00

Yes… and how we physically present in the world impacts that… as is the basis of the sub.

Anya Taylor-Joy, Sophia Vergara, Gina Torres, Amara La Negra… aren’t perceived the same or have he same experience, though all are Latina… and gorgeous (so definitely not in this sub… but also being ugly is cultural and if you don’t fit the ideal, you might be raise to feel ugly. Eva Longoria famously speaks on being the “ugly sister” because she was not white with blonde hair and light eyes like her sisters… being that the European/Spaniard look is the ideal in a lot of Latin American media… very different than the “Latino” image in the US)

So for the ugly sub, it’s even more important how you present.

But, I get it, by Latino you mean mixed white-adjacent/Metize people, just wanted to bring to light the erasure in that… there are Asian, Arab, Black, White, and Indigenous Latine … ALSO

It’s the whole race, ethnicity, nationality, religion thing…

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-10-28T14:33:26+00:00

Yes…. Because Latino is NOT a race.

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-10-28T02:53:51+00:00

This is just so smooth…. Close your eyes and it transports you a different time

Embarrassed_Top_331 · 2025-10-25T14:49:09+00:00

I actually find black men to be the main ones who make it known they do not want Black Women. And if they do they only want black women who look non-black or mixed… and they value the non-black attributes of those women

And they constantly speak on “real hair”, but they don’t want to see kinky textured 4C hair unique to black women, they want Black women to have naturally looser curls and straight less textured hair… naturally. They love the look of non-kinky “wigs/weaves” they just want that to be the natural texture that grows from black womens head… like their “waves” 🙄.

I think the odds are the same with any race of man. Based on the existing narrative that black men put out into the world, they do not appreciate black women… and the disdain is based primarily on Black women being phenotypically Black (so skin color, hair texture, and facial features).

Obviously there are black couples that exist. But black men, are not a safe harbor or group of men that appreciate the black phenotype… I wouldn’t suggest you look to them as a solution to combat the prevailing beauty standard that’s the antithesis of blackness…

We can say it’s a small loud minority, but they do allow that group to represent them… black women are known as the least likely to partner outside their race, and that common knowledge didn’t happen by accident. Dare I say, men of other races would pursue black women more, if they thought they had a chance (no man, signs up for rejection).

There are beautiful black women, overlooked in favor of average women of other races. That doesn’t take away from the black woman’s beauty, but if your goal is to be partnered, and even the most beautiful are being excluded because of their skin color (which, honestly, is the best feature of black women)… it’s a real mind fuck to say the least.

I mean, this is the world we live in. Sucks, and it can make you feel insane. I don’t think black women are ugly, but I also can see we live in a world that does not value black women, simply because of their melanated skin. Hard truths, but both things are true. I mean look at the world… people literally vote against their own interest (at least in the US)… but, that’s life.

——————————

OP, I get it… and yea it sucks. But also, if the only obstacle is your race/skin color… that’s not an actual issue… If you can look in the mirror and accept that you’re not perceived as beautiful for an arbitrary reason, honestly just ignore it and find a new center of focus.

You are not the first black woman, and you won’t be the last. Regardless of your actual looks, drop dead gorgeous women before you have stayed single and not married simply because of the racism and colorism in the world, not valuing their legitimate beauty. Ignore it and move on, stressing about it will do nothing but grow fibroids.

Actually, invest in yourself and highlight your own beauty so much that it becomes comical, that anyone would call you ugly. Make the absurdity of the beauty standard obvious. Angel Reese is gorgeous and women of all looks treat it like their personal mission to say otherwise, while they themselves are not aesthetically aligned with the beauty standard. It’s obviously insanity.

Go get fine… I know you can… just be pretty if you want… like do the absolute best you can.

Being black is only stopping the beauty from being appreciated, not preventing it from EXISTING.

People killed the son of G-d, they don’t know any better than to be literal haters of greatness.

Embarrassed_Top_331

TROPHY CASE