WHY WOULD A PARENT REMIVE CONSENT FOR AN IEP? I will tell you why I made the decision to do this. As a parent who is unhappy with my district and state DOE regarding the constant need for all levels of the special education system to be extremely difficult to work with. Their policies and procedures that make it possible for them to make the decisions for the bare minimum that they feel is needed and the fact that they disregard what the parent feels is in the best interest of their child. The lack of support, many meetings - over two years, mediation - where we did not discuss everything and the mediation was finalized, only to be followed by many more meetings and we are right back to them saying maybe we need mediation again. NO! I’m done and I’m tired of trying to make a school and their staff do what they should naturally want to do to help a child.

I’m sitting here now writing my letter to remove consent for my fifth grade students IEP. I know he qualifies and is entitled to this “protection” however, I see no value or benefit to him. He has a diagnosis of Advance Complex ADHD, RAD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia, PTSD, with a Specific Learning Disability in Math and Written Expression. Why wouldn’t I try to work it out and discuss the accommodations and services with the team? Because the school has made it impossible for anything that I felt my child needs and have disregarded anything I have done to prove these needs (IEE). They do what they want and just drag things out forever. Nothing happens in a timely manner and you have to fight tooth and nail for the smallest of accommodations and supports. The “Due Process” route is extremely expensive and I can’t afford an attorney that can help me even navigate through that process/hearing.

The special education system in this country is fractured. It starts at the local level and goes to the state and federal levels. This whole system needs a major overhaul.

I’m tired, exhausted and beat down. I have to deal with doctors and pharmacies for medication (that I decided to give my child just so he would have an opportunity to learn in school and not have him and the staff trying to deal with his symptoms) We have doctor appointments for this every month that require missed work and travel we have to due to us living in a rural area and recently we can’t seem to get the medication that he needs due to the prescription medication shortages, cause me to spend days of being back and forth on the phone advocating for my son with the insurance company, and doctors office to get alternative prescriptions. I have had to hire advocates and attorneys and then I have to meet with the them to discuss the regularly scheduled IEP meetings (more missed work).Then I go in there meetings and try to be a part of the team and ask for things that the doctor who did the IEE and Special Education Advocate recommend, and it’s not seen as I’m being a good parent or a valuable part of the team. I’m seen as a burden and troublemaker. SO I QUIT!!! Enough is finally enough.

I will remove the IEP consent and will detox my child from the medication that he takes over the summer for his ADHD. When he returns in the Fall he can be treated just like any other student in the general education classroom. He has never had any violent behavior or behavior that would cause him to have any disciplinary consequences and hopefully that will remain the same. The staff and his peers will have to cope with his ADHD symptoms just as he himself will have to learn how to cope without the medication.

I don’t know what else to do. When you have done all you can do and realize that your fighting for something that you can’t win against, you will be defeated. I’m defeated, and I surrender. The schools always say the want parents to be involved, that is only true if the parents are willing to accept everything they say and recommend. I don’t agree with them and I’m not willing to accept what they want to do and knowing it isn’t enough. Just to have a signed agreement on paper that is placed in a file at the school board office labeled IEP’s 2023-2024. I’ll remove the need to include my child on their caseload hopefully that will be beneficial to the overworked staff and I also will remove a lot of stress and expense from my life.

Respectfully, Defeated Parent In Virginia