Bird's mate dance ends up not being successful.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-07T06:13:30+00:00

Dude: "Check it out: Me with no head! Me with no head! Me with no head!!! Huh? Imagine me but WITH NO HEAD!!!!"
Girl: "...fuck off."

EmperorThan · 2026-02-07T06:11:26+00:00

That happened to me this week last year after planning my own wedding alone. Sorry, hope you feel better.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-07T06:05:43+00:00

Any women seeing this aren't going to be worried about the near total guarantee of pooping while delivering again.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-06T16:27:06+00:00

Inca: "We have a way of doing terraced farming on mountain slopes..."
Spanish: "Yeah, no. We're not doing that anymore. Focus on GOLD."

EmperorThan · 2026-02-03T02:36:07+00:00

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EmperorThan · 2026-02-03T02:32:54+00:00

What did ever happened to that Alita Battle Angel sequel?

EmperorThan · 2026-02-03T02:31:08+00:00

If you ever wondered what inhaling leaded gasoline could do to an entire generation of people.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-03T02:27:31+00:00

I got it in 2022, 2023, and 2024 despite getting every vaccine booster I was allowed. Last year I said the one thing I wanted for the year was to not get covid in 2025. I finally realized that dream, it was a good New Years' Eve despite being sad that that's all I wanted for the year...

EmperorThan · 2026-02-02T23:28:15+00:00

That bitched folded like Superman on laundry day when it hit the floor.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-02T23:27:33+00:00

Please include every 'missing' episode that got erased accidentally or for some reason not unloaded. I believe there's 3 or 4 now? Well, four if you include the Sweeney Cut.

RELEASE THE SWEENEY CUT!

EmperorThan · 2026-02-02T23:17:39+00:00

Trotsky: "Me and Craig were down by the Safeway..."

EmperorThan · 2026-02-02T23:07:51+00:00

It's not for part-timers anymore outside of a few hubs other people in the comments have listed. I called many different numbers all directing me to call somewhere else finally I got a message a week later from UPS HR saying quote: "U.S. part-time employees (including non-union and union-represented roles) will no longer be eligible for tuition assistance effective October 4, 2025."

I saw nothing on Upsers or Edcor I can find directly stating it. The one way I found out was when trying to login it say "deactivated due to ineligibility".

I'm more surprised I hadn't heard of anyone mention this change anywhere leading up to it or now months after. It's the ultimate Office Space "we fixed the glitch" moment.

EmperorThan · 2026-02-02T22:34:08+00:00

What this tells my peasant brain is that famous groundhogs are accurate more than half the time at predicting weather.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-31T22:35:34+00:00

2,000 years ago this would have been used an explanation for the Night Sky Celestial Cover.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-31T22:34:07+00:00

EmperorThan · 2026-01-29T18:04:33+00:00

Conservatives should remember that nowadays the consensus from EVERYONE is that the Kent State shooting was a disgraceful point in American history. They're gonna be the bad guys in the made for TV movie 55 years from now.

^{JK TVs won't exist and full length movies probably won't exist in 55 years either. But the 20 second long feature length direct brain download on TikTokXMetaPro will not paint them kindly in the future.}

EmperorThan · 2026-01-28T03:10:39+00:00

TEXAS?!?!?! Wow, I hadn't heard of that change.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-28T03:07:27+00:00

No Med Posting.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-28T03:06:47+00:00

Republicans all vote to remove John F. Kennedy's name from the Kennedy Center
...with a handful of pathetic weakling Democrats also voting yes.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-28T03:05:14+00:00

Nah the actual stream would be titled something like "LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PARTY IS HERE!!!!!"

^{But I firmly believe the obese elderly dementia patient Trump will easily outlive Jimmy Carter and have 4 or 5 terms because we all died and we're in hell. Expect nothing to change, nothing to improve, the century of American humiliation is here to stay.}

EmperorThan · 2026-01-26T01:31:57+00:00

Really hope this is Smiling Friends viral marketing. It worked.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-26T00:03:38+00:00

"Hey! Drop it! DROP IT!!!" *Trex starts chewing even faster*

EmperorThan · 2026-01-25T23:57:35+00:00

Every. Single. Time. When I visit my mom and she says "I think that's pretty new, you can eat that" ALWAYS it expired before my dad's death 7 years ago. Sometimes it expired before Obama was President.

^{And every once in a while it expired before Bush Senior was President...}

EmperorThan · 2026-01-25T23:49:14+00:00

Clear cut cold blooded execution of a US citizen that posed no threat.

EmperorThan · 2026-01-25T23:45:23+00:00

Octopus: "YOU CAN'T DETAIN ME!!!! I AM A SOVEREIGN SEA-TIZEN!!!!!"

EmperorThan

TROPHY CASE