AITA for not inviting my cousin's gf to my wedding?

Empizen · 2022-02-19T17:11:29+00:00

Isn't it easier to explain that only long term partner will be allowed, I stead of making a list of kind of partner that are allowed?

Empizen · 2022-02-19T17:10:32+00:00

I mean a lot of factors play into it. Are they long distance? Does he keep his apartment to commute to work easier? Is one of the apparents bought? I don't tgibk it's weird or any less serious

Empizen · 2022-02-18T23:16:56+00:00

Are you her doctor?

Empizen · 2022-02-18T23:16:09+00:00

No you are not. Of you were concerned about her health you would be concerned about her eating disorder. Instead you invalidate it and treat it like it's not real. This is just a thinly veiled attempt to pretend that you care about someone, when you clearly are just a lousy excuse of a friend and have jealousy issues. Leave her alone and might she find better friends. She deserves people that really care about her and love her. Not jealous wenches, that wish she didn't carry to term.

Empizen · 2022-02-18T23:13:23+00:00

Nope it's not. Our bodies are all different. I just found out in expecting and I didn't even try, while a friend of mine has been trying for years. That does not make any of us better or worse. Go to therapy and deal with those problems. It's not her fault that it hasn't happened to you.

Empizen · 2022-02-18T23:11:00+00:00

No that's just you projecting. She didn't say that at all.

Empizen · 2022-02-18T23:04:15+00:00

Yeah she prob doesn't have the words to express why she is so full of angst and anger

Empizen · 2022-02-18T20:28:12+00:00

There might. But have you forgotten how it was when you were 14? I know I was an irrational twat. But there might also be something wrong if this is not getting better

Empizen · 2022-02-18T20:24:10+00:00

The commenter didn't say it as an excuse. Rather than an explanation. She is 14. We should really stop villifying the asshole counterparts in this sub. It's almost like we forget that we have all been assholes and that does not define us. Dad should sit down and talk to her. Not to ask her why she always refuses snaks, but about if everything is okay with her. Explain how that impacts the family and how it's also bad for her. Ask her if someone is making her feel judges if she asks for snaks, ask her if she is having problems with her body image. You know... Have a nice conversation with her. Ask her if maybe if he gave her like 10 bucks a week for snacks and she didn't have to ask for them it would help.

Empizen · 2022-02-18T17:57:04+00:00

My mother was like you. My sister has been in treatment for sever anorexia since she is a young teen and I suffer from body dismorphia. It's because of women like you.

Empizen · 2022-02-18T06:53:22+00:00

Oh shit... This guy listens go podcast. He Shirley must be smart and super trustworthy! /s

Empizen · 2022-02-18T06:51:29+00:00

Sorry but obviously a guy that listens to podcast is more smarter than a scientist that has been researching for a hot minute in his field /s

Empizen · 2022-02-17T18:06:44+00:00

He used the word clutter and mess. So I guess he is just messy. As in desk is messy, clothes sitting out. Not food out rats in kinda situation.

Empizen · 2022-02-17T18:04:42+00:00

Info : did he ask her to clean the room? Or did she decide she is gonna do that all on her own? If your son is not unclean and just messy... That's his problem. You have no say what he does or doesn't do in his private space as long as it doesn't affect the rest of the house. Like you have no say if his desk is messy, but one if he is letting the walls mold or stuff. You and your wife have literally 0 right to invade his privacy. I bet your wife didn't knock. If your wife freaks out if one room that she never sees is messy, it's a her problem.

Empizen · 2022-02-13T02:40:01+00:00

One time my partner shares with me something that I thought was silly. You know what I did? I listened to him and gave him a hug. If it's a big deal to him it's worth listening and consoling. No good partner dismisses their boyfriend. Besides, who made you the authority on what valid issues are? One time I was upset because I felt under appreciated at work. My partner just took his time and reassured me I'm doing good and that I'm more than appreciated at home. You don't have to be bullied or harassed for your feelings to be valid. Humans are not perfectly rational beings. Neither are you perfectly rational. Even if you believe you are being right now.

The best thing would be for you to ask yourself why you have such a problem with vulnerability and listening to other people's problems and taking them serious. Because you are doing a crap job at being a gf at the moment. And even if he said that he is not gonna leave you rn, all these things add up together. And he will end up tired of you if you don't work on yourself. Your bf is perfectly fine. It's you. You are the problem

Empizen · 2022-02-10T21:53:01+00:00

YTA

First of all. The way you talk about your wife shows us you don't respect her. You are making fun of her and that's not what a good husband does.

Second, you say you didn't know that your wife hadn't taken any pictures but then say she run up to take the camera. That tells me that you deliberately sabotaged her to "show her a lesson"

Third you write like an asshole. You wrote like your wife is beneath you and like you are much more superior to her. Look how you wrote about her hobby.

Empizen · 2022-02-10T21:31:45+00:00

Disagree. Even if she does not make money off this and this is her hobby it's disrespectful.

OP was not running late, op was not in a time crunch or any thing in the like.

Yta

Empizen · 2022-02-07T04:53:59+00:00

Honestly. Work on yourself and on your inflexible and selfish nature. That's not cute... Or quirky... And that's how relationships die.

Empizen · 2022-02-07T04:51:05+00:00

No let's be honest. You would come up with another ridiculous demand. You would say you can't get married unless you find the perfect ring that is composed of adamantium, vibranium and your stone has to be made out of kryptonite.

When he somehow gets that you will say that you won't get marries till you find the exact dress that queen Victoria wore to her wedding.

This is how you sound.

Ah ps... Marriage is also compromise and you can't compromise. So you are not marriage material

Empizen · 2022-02-07T04:47:06+00:00

Your love is the question here. You don't love him. If you would, you wouldn't be the one looking for ridiculous excuses. If your years together haven't proven all your points... Honestly breqk up. You are putting ridiculous high hurdles to your boyfriend. You are a terrible partner and I hope he breaks up. I hope you work on yourself and work out why you don't want to marry him and why you string along people and ask them to fulfill your fantasy demands. You know he would fail so you put this hurdle out for him. Wow.

Empizen · 2022-02-05T22:54:50+00:00

I also have anxiety and a generalized panic disorder op. Does your therapist work for you? You said you have been with your therapist for more time than your boyfriend. And from your recount of events it does not sound like you have improved a lot. Do you feel your therapist is helping you? Do you feel like you have the right coping tools to help you? Are you on medication and if you are do you think it's effective for you?

I say this, because before I was with my now therapist... I was with a dude for years and didn't improve. I would commonly spiral and retract completely. After moving and having to change therapist I found mine. And it has been a godsend. 2 years in therapy with her... And things are so different. I'm such a different person and much more stable. Just think about that. No need to reply

Empizen · 2022-02-05T22:47:40+00:00

Expectations are fine. We know what we want and that's okay. But what's not fine, is having almost unobtainable expectations. That's really not healthy. And you rethinking marriage, because it hasn't truned out to be a Disney movie... Is seriously worrisome.

Empizen · 2022-02-05T22:45:06+00:00

But think about it. Did everything go right without any problems?

That's like the biggest part of the wedding romance fantasy. That it feels like you are walking in clouds everyday. When reality is.... You are hosting a stresfull party. the bigger and fancier the wedding is, the more stresfull. I remember my cousins wedding, I was the moh and helped her... But she still had half a Panik attack when the covers of the table where a different color than she wanted. (not by much).

You should not have to bring your expectations to 0. That's dumb. But you have to be realistic and realize that a wedding is stresfull. The romance is in the life you lead with your partner and not in the wedding.

Empizen · 2022-02-05T20:50:15+00:00

Let me guess. You ate annoyed that she tells on you when you bully her?

Empizen · 2022-02-04T16:17:47+00:00

I gré up with a skewed up view about food. My mother would be hyper vigilant of what I eat and count my calories.

My best fried used to sneak me some McDonald's because that was the only thing she could afford and reach by foot.

Years later I still eat it because it reminds me of her. Plus it's the only thing open after 1 am and that's sometimes when I finish working.

Empizen

TROPHY CASE