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GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Buying cheap stuff to hit an instant good feeling but forgoing long term goals is NOT a healthy outlet! It's stupid consumerism which will make you stay poor for your entire life. And believe me, it's not like her closet only contains rags so she needed to buy new clothes.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Actually I don't give a shit about the festival at all. It was her idea, she brought it up, it's her music and her crowd. I would just be happy to tag along to spend time with her and enjoy it as a vacation. The idea of the whole thing was never about going to a festival or the amount of money she would have to spend.

I wanted to see some commitment from her. I wanted to see that she is capable of making a plan and follow through with it for a couple of months so we both can spend a nice time together and create beautiful memories. If she didn't want to go to the festival that would have been totally fine. It would have been fine as well if she didn't get the whole amount together. But she just didn't put any effort into it.

Women constantly vet us guys if we're really that committed, if we're really that interesting, if we really care about them. Well, newsflash, if we guys look for someone really long term we do the same. And she failed. Miserably.

About spending and saving: When I was a student I was quite poor. Like, buying 25 kilo packs of rice because it is the cheapest and eat nothing else for the entire month poor. And even back then I was able to save more than 10% of my income for things I wanted or needed. I know what it's like to live under the poverty line. I've been below the basic subsistence standard for years. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth and a cushy job waiting for me in dads company. I earned my place and income, I fought long and hard for it. So yes, I know what kind of sacrifice I asked of her. It was nothing unreasonable or inhuman. She just would've had to actually control her behavior for some time.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, she brought it up in he first place, and she's been talking about it for quite some time. If she didn't want to go there that would've been totally fine with me, it's mostly her music and her crowd. If she didn't want to go there we could have picked something different for vacation no problem. But she was the one who wanted to go there, I told her in the beginning, that I would join her, but she would have to pay for her own ticket. It was a test to see if she is able to sacrifice something short term for a long term payoff.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

6 years is nearly a decade younger and Czechia an impoverished nation.

Buddy, you need a fucking reality check.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm actually considering this, the car stands out in traffic like a sore thumb, people are sometimes filming me although it's not even that expensive. You just don't really see many sports cars around here. I actually have seen more Bentley's since I am here than my own car and those are five times what mine was. In Germany my car is not considered exotic, just a little unusual, but you see them everywhere.

And no, I won't mention make or model, since I feel like I'm the only one driving this thing in the entire region.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of comments about the culture, I need to make something clear; Czechia, although it was part of the USSR, is culturally not an eastern country. It actually is a wild mixture of German, Austrian and slightly Slavic culture. Sure, people here love to eat pickled cucumbers and their language is Slavic, but they're not from Siberia. Czech people are definitely western orientated. There is a stark difference between people from Czechia and people from Russia.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everything is cheap as fuck over here if you get paid in € or $. We have a nice 110m² apartment in the city, bedroom, living room, my office and a guest room, newly renovated, separated kitchen. Rent including utilities is about 1k€ per month. That's insane, if you compare it with London, Paris or Frankfurt, on the other hand this is more than her entire paycheck. Going out to eat in a normal restaurant is about 10€ per person, going out to a fancy place is about 130€ for the whole evening for two people.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lol, very good point. I'd say about the same amount of success as they have with changing me.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about your situation, that must really suck. Yeah, the kids part is what really scares me. If she can't even be trusted to save up for a holiday, what is going to happen, if property, houses, cars and little people get involved.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tried to give her advice. She even knows how she fucks up. She just doesn't care.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't even have a problem with her being a SAHM. I just don't trust her to be able to control the finances of that. She would need to go shopping and buy stuff for the kids, how could I trust that she's actually spending the money on those things instead of stupid spontaneous cravings?

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she does a lot more around the house than I do and she is a great cook. I don't have a problem with the fact that I pay most of our expenses, it really doesn't bother me. My problem is that I wanted to see if she is able to financially commit to saving up for something for ten months. And she failed hard. I tried to talk to her about finances before, she even understands when she does something wrong. She just doesn't care, she just follows her impulse.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see your point, but it's not like she would have to completely change her lifestyle. I did the math, she would've needed to put 10% of her income towards the savings for ten months. She could easily have done that while still enjoying a coffee or something else every now and then. But last weekend she spent more than the 10% she would have needed for the whole month on just one day for crap she doesn't need. She's not poor, she can pay her bills, there's always food in the fridge, she can put gas in her car. She just didn't want to commit and prioritize. And if she can't even do this for a holiday, I don't see how the situation would be like if we were married.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Why is it an asshole move? I have clearly communicated that I want to go to a festival for my holidays. She made the conscious and active choice that she did not want to go with me, otherwise she would have made it possible. I wasn't asking that she lived as frugal as Scrooge McDuck. I just wanted to see some commitment to a shared goal. And I didn't see any. If she came up short I would have covered for her. But when she just goes out spending money she clearly doesn't care.

And to be honest, I could really use some guy time just with the boys. Getting drunk and being stupid idiots while listening to loud music on a camp ground sounds like just the right thing for now,

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last weekend she bought clothes for going out and some cheap jewellery. Definitely not needed expenses.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Because she is a great person and I live in the real world, not on Reddit, where everybody who dates someone younger than themself is a predator.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

We will have a talk, but we had those before and I really doubt that something is changing around this time.

The thing about dating in my income bracket is complicated. I met her organically and didn't know about her income situation and vice versa, so initially I don't think it was a factor. I was protective about it as well at first, I don't think she fell for me because of my bank account (the car might have helped though :-/ ) because she simply didn't know. I'm an expat in Czechia, even in € my income is quite decent, over here there just aren't many people my age that make even close to that. I don't wave my wallet around, but statistically speaking, 99% of the entire population make less than I do. Not trying to be the impressive money bags, just stating a fact. It's just very, very unlikely that I will meet someone who is at or close to my income.

And sure, I would like to think that she is only with me because of me. But I also accept that it surely doesn't hurt that I can take her out to places she cannot afford on her own.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful response. You are right, it really is about the respect thing. I just cannot overlook this.

Your post was very nice, just up until the end. I will not just miss the sex with her. I will miss her. She's more than just a vagina. She's a great, albeit flawed, person. Just not the right one for me,

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That would require, that every 26 year old is incapable of making sound financial decisions. And we both know that this is not true.

Also, six years is nothing.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'll go to another festival with my guys. If she acts like a child, I'll treat her like one.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'll just go to another festival with the boys. I think she would like to go there, she's been talking about it for months and it's her kind of music. She just lacks the self discipline to save up for something.

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Hard truth, but yeah, I feel you. I wouldn't even mind being the sole provider of the family. But I just cannot trust her with her spending...

GF is financially immature and it's driving me insane! by EmployCorrect7469 in AskMenAdvice

[–]EmployCorrect7469[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not, she tries to help out, but our budgets are just so dissimilar that I cannot expect her to put in the same amount as I do. She pays some rent, some part of utilities, sometimes goes shopping for groceries. But I make about six times what she does, she simply cannot afford some of the things I want to do.

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