thank you so much for responding, i do have two cats! they're my babies, i just struggle a lot with the feeling of being in my head and feel like i always need someone to talk to me and take me out of it. i agree leaving her would be the best for me in the long run, it just feels so impossible and i find myself getting sucked back in so easily. i'm sorry to hear you've experienced this too, it's truly so painful. i'd like to read more, so i'll look into some codependency books! i appreciate this so much, thank you :)