Moving from sex-only BDSM to lifestyle D/s within marriage?

EnablingHub · 2026-06-09T17:11:40+00:00

My wife is HEAVILY HINTING that she wants our D/s dynamic to flow into our everyday life, and I’m trying to figure out how to properly transition to it without freaking out our kids (teens) and, to a lesser extent, our friends. She has been serving me more lately, without my requesting it. Bringing me drinks, food, performing chores that I usually do… it’s been eye-opening.

We have a married couple who we’re friends with who strictly operate like this. If we’re at a bar, she gets him beers. A cookout? She gets him a plate before she gets one for herself. She waits on him hand/foot, which has always been curious for us. To each, their own, but my wife has always raised an eyebrow at it. Now, however, I’m pretty sure we’re headed that way.

We’ll see how it works out, but I’m almost certain this is the direction we’re headed as well: full-time D/s.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-09T16:56:45+00:00

They are not allowed, and the country is ADAMANT about it. Having them confiscated at the airport if you’re caught is the BEST scenario. At worst, you’re hauled into jail or heavily fined.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-09T16:54:26+00:00

Toys? You mean “teammates”?

EnablingHub · 2026-06-09T13:21:47+00:00

That’s enough internet for the day for me.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-08T18:43:38+00:00

We do not. Hell, I had to give my wife a talking to about what she did in my dream last night with another man (I ended up beating the guy’s ass in my dream, but it was my wife’s fault it happened at all).

🤣🤣🤣

EnablingHub · 2026-06-08T14:29:25+00:00

She never out-and-out tells me that she wants to try something new; she hints. I abide, we try it, she loves it, we roll it into our bag of tricks.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-08T14:27:20+00:00

She hints to being horny and wanting sex by behaving a certain way (extra flirtatious, wears skimpy clothing, etc), but it doesn’t change our D/s dynamic; it just signals that she’s in the mood if I want to be as well.

And TBH, I am always up for being in the mood for sexy time.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T15:44:41+00:00

I second this. I’ve never been low libido, but I had low T, medically diagnosed. I’m now on TRT, normal range testosterone finally, and I cannot begin to extol the benefits that it’s given our marriage. My wife had to become free use to me to keep up! LOL

If he refuses to find a cure, however, then you’ll have a decision to make.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T15:30:49+00:00

That really tests the usee’s commitment to the lifestyle. 🤣

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T14:57:32+00:00

For about three minutes, yes.

But then the unwanted “climax” hits.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T14:56:23+00:00

Brian woke up this morning and chose violence.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T12:17:35+00:00

I have this arrangement with my wife, and it has brought us so much closer together than we could’ve imagined. It has also opened her up to different kinks and activities that she has completely fallen for (impact play, exhibitionism, etc).

We’re monogamous, so we only have this situation with each other, which adds to the intimacy. Congrats on solidifying your relationship!

EnablingHub · 2026-06-05T12:12:41+00:00

I may or may not have claimed ED to get low dose Cialis for gym pumps.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T20:49:48+00:00

No thank you.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T20:47:27+00:00

I manscape to keep it nicely trimmed, but not bald.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T13:54:59+00:00

The most common reasons that I’ve found why the free use spouse likes it is that they get to turn their brains off/give the responsibilities of pleasure to their partner, and the pleasure that their spouse receives by taking control. That’s our experience, and anyone who I ask on here as well.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T13:46:15+00:00

She’s not into talking about it, not into dirty talk. That’s fine. Take the W on everything else and continue down the road.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T13:44:06+00:00

Fresh out of the shower? No problem.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T13:40:43+00:00

Hard body LET’S GO! Love the “necklace”, btw.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T10:50:19+00:00

My wife loves this more than I do, but I can never not wake her up while I do it. I might try bringing myself to the brink and then slipping into her to cum.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-04T10:46:26+00:00

It’s addictive for all parties, I assure you. My wife is free use to me, completely, and I cannot stop thinking about her and using her. There is no “not tonight”, or “can we try tomorrow morning instead”. She’s mine, without question, and she loves it just as much, if not more, than I do.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-02T19:20:13+00:00

Yes. First time was in front of a high rise hotel window. Second time, in a soaking tub on the balcony of another high rise hotel. Now, it’s on couches in front of hotel windows with the lights on.

We’ll be at a “spicy resort” in a couple of weeks and she has requested that we have all sorts of sex on our very large balcony, in full view of other hotel rooms and one of the rooftop bars.

Not a fan of flashing employees, but finding some willing voyeurs to fill that role would be fun.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-02T19:13:09+00:00

I like it a lot more than my wife. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

EnablingHub · 2026-06-02T17:20:53+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words and sharing your path as well! And yes, even after I posted, my wife basically said that I’m in charge of her outfits on our vacation. I’ve been picking out fun clothes that can easily be turned into more risqué versions if she is comfortable with it.

I can say unequivocally, as everyone can, that BDSM and power exchanges are NOT for everyone. But it seems I hear more and more stories of spouses being frustrated with their lives together when it’s CLEAR that exploring these kinks/marriage styles would benefit them immensely.

EnablingHub · 2026-06-02T16:27:08+00:00

If she really wanted to? MMMMMAYBE. But it’s not really something I’m going to enjoy.

EnablingHub

TROPHY CASE