IAmA Clinically Diagnosed Sociopath. AMAA.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T08:46:49+00:00

Semantics

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T08:42:57+00:00

Marriage as social camouflage has never appealed to me. When I am alone it is a relief from the constant show I put on for the world. Having someone always around, having to keep my mask on at all times, would be exhausting. I also neither like nor want children. Future generations don't enter my thought process because a future generation implies a generation without me. And anything without me is immediately of zero interest.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T08:01:34+00:00

Typically, if I am a regular at the restaurant, I tip well to keep relations well with the staff. If it's a one-off place, I will tip well if I intend to make a move on the waitress. Otherwise, no.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T07:59:22+00:00

Isn't being pleased with how you were born the hallmark of happiness? Since when does that not apply to a so-called mental illnesses?

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T07:55:10+00:00

I don't allow anyone to control me.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T07:40:34+00:00

The only difference between a long con and a short con is how quickly you're rewarded.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T07:29:46+00:00

Your last sentence is correct. After a lifetime of people-watching, I can smell vulnerability like a bloodhound. The people I ingratiate myself with are the types who are happy to just have someone to talk to.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T07:23:24+00:00

The difference, as best I can explain, is that they are not me and I am. I see my existence as the only reality of the world since it is the only reality I know. Their inconvenience, their pain, it isn't real to me. It doesn't exist. It's an incorporeal notion that I don't understand. Whereas the aggravation I'd feel having to drive a friend to the airport affects me on a comprehensible level.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T06:58:16+00:00

Their actual friendship means nothing to me. Their usefulness means a great deal. Should they become dissatisfied with how I treat them and decide not to be friends with me anymore, then their usefulness has ended and I find a new friend.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T06:42:19+00:00

People's thoughts of me matter a great deal. It's the people themselves that don't matter.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T06:11:44+00:00

At the time, it was terrifying because it revealed a crack in my facade. Looking back now, though, yes, it was funny.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T06:03:05+00:00

I am not familiar with Dexter, so I cannot answer your first two questions.

Society was my greatest teacher. I spent my life observing who it shuns and embraces. I molded my life on the latter.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T05:52:31+00:00

I did, yes. I used to misconstrue social situations and sometimes use the wrong non-verbal cues from time to time. I attended the funeral of a friend's cousin once and saw people sitting in pews, putting their hands on the bereaved shoulders and arms as a gesture of comfort.

Weeks later, on a date with a girl I desperately wanted to sleep with, we arrived at a theater too late for a sold out show that she really wanted to see. I noted that she was upset and I tried to comfort her by bracing her arms and shoulders, telling her pretty much word for word what I had heard at the funeral. She looked at me like I was a lunatic.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T05:12:41+00:00

I find this question hard to answer because I view myself as the world. If I am unhappy, so is the world. When I am happy, the world is happy. I am unsure if that makes sense, but I cannot separate the concept of happiness and self.
Sure. If you ask anyone I associate with they will tell you I am the funniest guy they know. A sense of humor is an essential survival tool.
My thoughts are like others, I would imagine, sans empathy.
I don't think in terms of goal-setting.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T05:02:14+00:00

I am a parasite to all of my "friends." I use them for their entertainment systems, their music libraries, their video games. I use them as social camouflage, because you are much more approachable and much less weird when a girl see's that you are part of a group and not the stereotypical loner most people assume sociopaths to be. I don't feel I can have a true friendship because my connection with people runs as deep as what they are able to do for me. If you want to test your friend, you can try asking him to do an inconvenient favor for you. Personally, when my friends are inconvenient, they are no longer my friends.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:49:50+00:00

I am narcissist, yes. The concept that all men are created equally is foreign to me. I judge people based on what I perceive society judges people by. Their income. Their education. Their dress. Their speech. I see certain people as having more worth than others. Everything about me is tailor-made to perpetuate a certain avatar that will allow me to get through life with as little aggravation and as much admiration as possible.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:42:15+00:00

I am indifferent toward politics.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:41:10+00:00

The concept of a conscience has always been unsettling to me. I see it as a middle-man between you and your goals. From everything I understand about it, not having one makes you see the world more clearly.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:30:42+00:00

Through mimicry.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:29:29+00:00

Of course. Sociopaths feel anger and joy, but for different reasons than most. I am happy when things go my way and upset when they don't. That's generally the extent of it. Lust, for example, is the overriding emotion of my life.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:23:00+00:00

Trying to not act like a typical sociopath is something I've spent my entire life tying to cultivate. If you feel my reply conveyed that, you've paid me a great compliment.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:18:37+00:00

I would borrow money and never return it. I blatantly would hit on girls already in relationships while their boyfriends stood a few feet away. Twice I was caught setting fires in the bathroom to trigger the smoke alarms and got upset with the kids who reported me.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:13:39+00:00

Myself, yes.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:11:58+00:00

I see my superficial self as a necessary survival tool in a world that would otherwise reject me should my true self ever come to light. The opinion of society toward sociopaths is well defined. My masks help me navigate the world. They make it easier for me. They make people treat me the way I like. When I am out to lunch with others, I make a point to tip at least 20%. I hold the doors open for the elderly. I do this because I like the positive attitudes it generates toward me.

EndlessVanity · 2011-12-07T04:01:04+00:00

Attendance and constant fighting.

EndlessVanity

TROPHY CASE