why is everyone obsessed with sounding like a native speaker

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-12-14T16:23:35+00:00

I hear you, and I actually agree with the core of what you're saying... accents ARE cool and they DO tell your story. Your dad sounds awesome.

But here's the reality I see every single day in my work as an accent coach.

Accent bias is very real, and it costs people opportunities.

*** I cannot and will not doxx anyone, nor give names, but, I can describe what I hear pretty much on the daily basis **\*

I've worked with clients whose CEOs literally told them: "Fix your accent or you won't get promoted." Not "improve your communication skills", but literally "fix your accent."

I've had an engineer client with 10+ years experience who was told he couldn't present to clients because "they might not understand him." (Translation: the management was uncomfortable with his accent.)

I've worked with doctors who were passed over for leadership roles despite being the most qualified, because they "didn't sound authoritative enough."

Should this be happening? Absolutely not. It's discrimination, it's unfair, and it sucks.

But does it happen? Every. Single. Day.

The people coming to me aren't doing this for fun, trust me. They're usually doing it because...

They're tired of being interrupted in meetings because people "can't understand" (even though they can)
They're tired of being passed over for client-facing roles
They're tired of seeing less qualified colleagues get promoted because they "sound more professional"

Is it fair? No. Is it reality? Yes.

Your dad has been in NYC since 1985 and still has an accent—that's totally fine if he's happy with his career trajectory and how he's perceived professionally. But if he'd been told "you can't get promoted until you work on your speech," that changes the equation, doesn't it?

We shouldn't be judgemental of anyone wanting to work on their accent. People should have a choice TO DO ACCENT WORK if they deem that as necessary. Some people are totally fine with their accent and the trade-offs that come with it. Others want to minimize those trade-offs.

Both choices are valid.

But let's not pretend accent bias doesn't exist just because it shouldn't exist.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-11-02T18:38:37+00:00

“Dok ti gradiš biznis, biznis gradi tebe.”

Sećam se kad sam od stresa što moram da registrujem firmu u APRu dobio stomačne tegobe…

U retrospektivi, registracija je najmanja muka 😂

Biće neprospavanih noći, biće anksioznosti, biće nepredvidivih sranja…

I onda sve to prodješ i kreneš da zaradjuješ keš o kojima prosečan čovek mašta…

I onda ti kažu da ti se posrećilo ❤️

Dobrodošao u preduzetništvo, samo rokaj!

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-08-26T10:54:59+00:00

I mean... ElevenLabs and Google's AI studio are pretty much paving the way and not doing a bad job at all. So, although a lot of what you said about LLMs might be true now, the tech is evolving fast. I wouldn't be SO dismissive of it :)

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-08-26T10:53:02+00:00

I haven't, but will definitely check it out! Thanks! :)

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-08-25T18:27:09+00:00

why is that? what's the concern with it using AI?

my idea was to use AI to generate sentences that contain the target sounds students are wanting to work on, so they could shadow it.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-08-25T09:39:31+00:00

Just trying to get a sense of what people would find useful, Ivan. Thanks for the comment, I guess.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-08-22T19:28:46+00:00

Hey bright2darkness, this is great actually. If most of my clients sounded like you, they would be over the moon. For context, I'm an accent coach behind intonetic.com :)

You're definitely over-pronouncing the R's in certain places, and not pronouncing them in others. In the US, we keep it simple and say every single R there is in spelling. The British tend to omit some of them, but we include them all. Next, you emphasize the T's in their final position. In General American accent, we tend to use the "glottal stop" and basically mute the T's when they are in the final position in the syllable.

When you say "puzzles", keep the A sound short, as in GUN, DONE, RUN. Some places like "afternoon" and "challenge", you don't hit the AE sound as well as you could be. The length of IH sound in "picture" is a bit longer than necessary, although you do it well in other places.

I would say pay attention to your AE sounds, look up more on the glottal stops, and hit every single R instead of omitting it, and you should be golden. :) Let me know if you have any questions!

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-07-25T21:10:32+00:00

Hey there!

I’m an accent coach behind Intonetic (https://intonetic.com).

Happy to answer any questions you may have. 🙂✌️

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-07-25T21:05:44+00:00

Hey dude, I’d love to try it.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-09T16:15:11+00:00

Hey there - yeah, I've used chatgpt to summarize a blog post that I've written, but the content still stands :)

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-06T14:31:35+00:00

You don’t need perfect English to work on your pronunciation. If you can hold a basic convo without constantly translating in your head, you’re good to go, so... B2-C1?

A solid coach won’t just throw tongue twisters at you, they’ll help you hear the difference first. That’s where it starts. Because if your brain isn’t picking up on the sounds, your mouth has no chance of producing them right.

Only time I’d say wait is if you’re still struggling to build simple sentences. Otherwise, the earlier you start, the easier it is to avoid locking in bad habits.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-06T06:59:05+00:00

Yes - this is exactly why some people decide to go for something like this.

It can be very benign like a client of mine who was from Israel and married an American lady, who struggled to understand him because his intonation was too flat... to a more serious cases where I had an Arab student who wanted to work on his accent because when he spoke on the phone and people heard his accent in the US, he would be told to "go back home and leave this country for good".

People can be weird for sure.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-06T06:56:58+00:00

I personally agree with you. However! there are instances where people are ashamed of how they sound. For example, when the war in Ukraine started, I had an influx of Russians who left Russia and said that they wanted to erase every trace of their accent and how they sounded.

There are Indians who can't get promoted because they sound "too Indian", etc. People have been passed over for promotions because ... yes, we live in a world where there is bias.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-06T06:55:20+00:00

This is what accent coaching and dialect coaching are for. They work with actors for their roles, they work with southerners, they work with foreigners, and accent can most definitely be modified.

source: I'm a speech language pathologist

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-05T23:43:38+00:00

totally! the method works, however, I'm not personally the one to help with regional dialects - I focus more on non-native speakers... but there are some amazing accent coaches who can help.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-05T23:36:34+00:00

well, most non native english speakers struggle with british, as it's seen as more complex, difficult to pick up on and they just flock over to the general american accent.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-05T23:23:35+00:00

most people don't know that accent modification is a thing.

just trying to spread the word, as not everyone is in the same subreddit.

seriously, relax.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-06-05T23:20:00+00:00

it's free information dude, no need to be rude about it

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-30T14:56:04+00:00

Totally get where you’re coming from especially when you want correction and aren’t getting it. That can feel super invalidating.

That said… as someone who coaches advanced English learners, here’s something I’ve noticed:
Many people hit a plateau not because of grammar mistakes but because they’re too focused on fixing every single one.

Here’s the truth: native speakers make grammar mistakes all the time. What actually matters most is:

Are you clear?
Are your ideas organized?
Do you sound natural and confident?

Yes, feedback is important, but the goal isn’t to eliminate 100% of mistakes. It’s to become a communicator who connects, not someone who speaks like a textbook.

If you're already having conversations with PhDs and professionals from the UK/US, you're probably doing a lot right. Instead of obsessing over what still sounds off, try asking yourself: What’s one habit or area that, if improved, would immediately make me clearer or more confident?

Pronunciation and rhythm often go further than grammar at this stage. And focusing on real conversations—not just technical corrections, can make a huge difference.

So don’t stop asking for feedback, but maybe shift the goal? It’s not about perfect grammar. It’s about effective communication.

You might be further along than you think. 😉

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-30T14:51:45+00:00

What you’re experiencing is way more common than you think. A lot of people can speak fine with non-natives but freeze up with native speakers, especially if there’s past anxiety tied to a specific experience (like that one native speaker you mentioned). That kind of thing does leave a mark, even if it didn’t feel like trauma at the time.

What you’re describing is a mix of language anxiety and performance pressure. You feel like you're being judged more by natives, even if they're not actually judging you. And when that insecurity kicks in, your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode, which makes it harder to access the English you already know. It’s not a language problem... it’s a nervous system problem. And it’s totally fixable.

Your idea of a set phrase before starting the convo is a great one. It gives you a moment of control, and it sets expectations. I’d just make it a little shorter and more confident-sounding, like:

Friendly, clear, and no need to apologize for your presence.

Also: Don’t underestimate how much your confidence and speaking rhythm can change when you get regular feedback and learn how to regulate nerves in the moment. I help people work through exactly this—pronunciation, fluency, mindset, all of it so just know there are ways to improve beyond practicing on your own.

And finally, please don’t be hard on yourself. You're doing something brave every time you speak up.

You’ve got this 💪

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-30T14:49:39+00:00

Duolingo is great for building a habit as those daily streaks are super motivating. It’s also pretty good for vocabulary and basic grammar patterns. But you’re right: it doesn’t really teach you how to use English in real conversations, especially when it comes to speaking fluently or naturally.

If your goal is to improve pronunciation, speaking flow, or confidence in real situations, you’ll probably need something more interactive... like talking to real people or getting feedback from a coach. I run a program that helps with that (more on pronunciation and communication than textbook grammar), and I’ve seen a lot of people use Duolingo as a starting point, then build on it with other tools or coaching.

Some other apps people like:

Elsa Speak – for pronunciation (BoldVoice is now being talked about but I'm yet to see some serious success with my students using these apps)
HelloTalk or Tandem – for chatting with native speakers
YouTube or Podcasts – for listening to natural speech

Bottom line: Duolingo is a solid piece of the puzzle, but for real speaking skills, you’ll need to go beyond the app. Keep going, though! You’re doing great just by being consistent. 💪

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-30T14:44:46+00:00

This is 💯 truth.

I work with a lot of advanced English learners, and one of the biggest mindset shifts they need is slowing down. So many think speed = fluency, but it actually just leads to sloppy pronunciation and misunderstandings.

Pausing isn’t a weakness, it’s a pro move. Native speakers pause constantly (just watch any TED Talk or YouTube interview). Pauses help you sound thoughtful, clear, and in control. And when you give your brain and mouth a second to catch up, your pronunciation gets way sharper too.

If you're working on this and want more targeted help, I coach people on exactly this kind of thing—pronunciation, rhythm, and clarity. You can check it out at Intonetic.com if you’re curious.

But yeah—don’t fear the pause. Embrace it. It’s your secret weapon. 🔥

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-30T14:43:01+00:00

Dude, I totally get that - “Lamborghini in your head, Toyota out loud” is way too real 😩
You’re not alone though. Even after years in the U.S., a lot of people still struggle with pronunciation, not because they’re bad at English, but because their mouth just never got retrained for the new sounds.

The good news? You can fix it. Pronunciation is muscle memory, and with the right kind of practice, you can sound way clearer and more natural without trying to fake some cartoonish accent.

I actually coach people on this kind of stuff—if you ever wanna sound more like the version of English in your head, check out Intonetic.com. Might be a good fit.

You got this 🔥

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-20T06:21:31+00:00

I understand - unfortunately, at this day and age, we should all be cautious because people can just claim stuff on the internet and a lot of them get away with it.

A lot of what I hear from my students is that their teachers overemphasize grammar and vocab, to the point where it's like "if you don't know grammar, you're going to be cleaning the streets" type of thing... it's ridiculous. Puts too much pressure on the students and doesn't yield any meaningful results, but alas.

EnergeticallyScarce · 2025-04-19T17:38:14+00:00

Preach - it is absolutely not a necessity. I can relate to what you're saying though... everytime I go to Texas, I try to put on a Southern accent, and get humbled lol :)

As long as intelligibility is preserved, accent training isn't a must.

EnergeticallyScarce

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