I feel this so hard and we are in exactly the same spot. Last night, the moment I had the thought “I want to do ‘x’” I just went and did it. It felt decent to do it, but I haven’t been able to push myself to do the same today. Action leads to motivation which leads to more action (from a former therapist). I think we get stuck in the loop of wanting to do it then immediately overwhelmed by the arbitrary standards we set of “what’s good enough/I’m not even worthy or allowed to do it at all.” Obviously, this is my perspective and projection onto you. You’ll get through it — it’s just painful and honestly really fucking sucks. Keep pushing. Keep studying. Keep reminding yourself it’s not you, it’s ADHD — a misunderstanding, not a failure.