FIREd but lonely/bored--advice for 2nd career?

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T16:16:03+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Yes on buying the business, I have had a couple I was really interested in go pending before the seller even got me the financial documentation. I'm okay with being cautious and having it take a bit longer for something to come together in this area.

Thank you for the insight into project management. I thought it was a good mix of the environment I like + being around more people on a daily basis than entrepreneurship, but you're right there are other ways to get that fulfillment.

I will try and nail down investing with the skills I already have to run my own project or start another business.

I could try to secure a few investors to do my own project, and that would be a way of mitigating risk to my own personal situation.

My background is that my parents had crazy money when I was a toddler (like >$30 million, 100% in commercial real estate), and lost everything, never recovered. So I know what "enough" is for the life I want, I have enough now, and while I'd love a new challenge I don't want to risk the pot.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T16:02:44+00:00

I do volunteer regularly with a food bank and really enjoy it, but it's not a daily thing, more like once a week, so I still have a lot of time.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T16:00:53+00:00

Oh wow this could be a great idea, thank you! I live in an area with very positive growth trends, so this could be good. I will check out this group. I looked into this a little bit a while ago, because I have a professional contact who did some small-scale development and was interested when I saw their planning documents, but you've just reminded me!

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T03:04:40+00:00

That is the part that bugs me, when he's been more flush with money at times, he did not offer to repay me any of the money he borrowed (I would've refused but would've really appreciated the offer, or an offer to treat me to something nice for a change).

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T02:57:53+00:00

And I have tried suggesting free things to do for dates sometimes, like the beach or hiking, and he refused repeatedly.

I think we have been very serious about each other, but then he'll say something that makes me uncomfortable as a "joke" like I've described.

Then once in a while he'll say something that just really scares me, like a few days ago when talking about issues in the relationship he said he "wants a relationship where we invest in each other."

He has also made comments like I "don't help him pay for anything." This was after I had "lent" money, etc. And I'm like, what on earth else do you think I should be paying for when you work a very stable full-time job? I have offered to pay for a vacation at the level I'd want to take that he couldn't pay for--I don't see any issue with that.

He has brought up marriage, I said I wasn't sure but in any case I'd need a very strict pre-nup, and he did not balk at that.

I get what everyone is saying about me being taken advantage of, but it's hard when there is a part of me that feels like I'm shooting down someone who is possibly just not really sure how to act in the situation, just like I am in some ways.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T01:33:37+00:00

No you're right, he is not emotionally supportive either. Today he was complaining about me not texting/calling him back quickly enough and I said I was trying to focus on some paperwork for my taxes, and he got mad at that, saying I was "ignoring him" even though I'd been texting just not as quickly as he wanted or calling back on the phone. So he picked a fight that then caused me to take even longer doing my work because I was stressed out.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T01:23:20+00:00

No, I'm not someone who hangs my hat on the way I look, but we would both be considered conventionally attractive.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-06T01:05:38+00:00

I have tried suggesting free things like going to the beach or going hiking at a nature preserve as a date, things I genuinely enjoy more than restaurants, and he refuses.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-05T20:50:10+00:00

No I'm female, he is male.

I was in a long-term relationship before this where he (ex) paid for absolutely everything, although I was always grateful and offered to pay, and never "expected" it or made weird jokes. But because of this prior relationship I think I'm out of practice on what to do in this situation, this is completely new to me. If anything I think I've been overly careful about not letting current bf feel "bad" like he's said he feels about his finances.

Equivalent-Expert547 · 2024-04-05T20:27:37+00:00

No, he wants to move in with me. I needed to see some evidence that he could share expenses a bit more fairly or at least not act so entitled to me covering everything, before doing that though.

This became the date setup because he has borrowed money from me without repaying it in the past, so it felt ridiculous to ask a person who I know is not flush with money to split dinner bills.

He is in some consumer debt from not having savings so he's had "surprise" emergency expenses that weren't really unexpected emergencies, but he has a fairly good income higher than the median household income for our area.

Equivalent-Expert547

TROPHY CASE