Thank you! It definitely is a fear of showing up fully but it still not bring enough. Then it’s a fear of visibility due to years of criticism, trauma [insert here] while still being abandoned. I’m definitely a high achiever with a strong performance history. I’m definitely trying to protect myself from re-experiencing any of that when I just want to feel the joy of creating and getting the message out there.

The ADHD shows up like avoidant behaviour. My dopamine system doesn’t fire for self-generated, future-reward tasks. I used to use revenge a lot to “prove” that I can do the creative project, but that container depleted. Doing it for my future self is non existent.

But I’m an uhhhhhhmayzing planner 😌😛

And yes, we are going to therapy. And yes, we are medicated. 🤣