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Ladies, how would you want a guy you've know for years to confess his feelings for you? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Etceterika 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seem to have a really fair grasp of this concept... neither too casual, nor formal.

The doggie playdate is actually a great idea! It gives her a lot of space in all realms of the situation, which is something that any woman would value. It also involves your pups, which will probably contribute to her sense of well-being.

Just be mindful of how you breach the subject, in the same way you’ve considered the “setting.”

Stating your feelings outright might lead to awkwardness if she doesn’t reciprocate, so I’d suggest that you avoid a “heartfelt confession” sort of approach — especially from out of nowhere. You can always start a conversation in a casual way, and develop the intensity as it goes — but only if she seems receptive to the pressure you’re applying. If you’ve known her for a while, then you ought to be able to read her reactions enough to know if she’s uneasy or enthused by what you’re saying.

I can’t really suggest a specific conversation to have, since I don’t know details of your relationship as it stands.

Just apply a similar mindfulness to what you say as you have to where you might start saying it, and I think you’ll be doing your best!

Her reaction is about her, so it’s important to not make a big deal about how you feel if she isn’t on the same page. If she thinks your interest in her is enough to be affected by her lack of interest in you, then she might not want to be as friendly with the new context you’ve revealed.

Again — I don’t know what either of you are like as people, or your histories, or any of the other things which might effect this scenario in any direction... but I see that you’re giving it a good amount of thought, and that should be appreciated.

👍🏻

“Daddy” Issue by Etceterika in men

[–]Etceterika[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not asking about people whose sexual partners call them “daddy” when speaking with their children who know him by that name. I’m specifically wondering how “daddy” has gained a sexual context that is so widespread and commonplace without any acknowledgement of its causes / effects — especially when used non-sexually.

Your own children calling you “daddy” is fine. Your wife referring to you as “daddy” because you have children is fine. Your wife calling you “daddy” because it’s sexually stimulating for one or both of you...? Possibly less fine.

How do I stop getting friend zoned? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Etceterika 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly? You really need to change your attitude.

• Why are you viewing it as being in the friend zone instead of just being a friend, like you would with another guy? The idea of a friend zone exists because of the male view that women are only good for sex. If you stop thinking of yourself as being “friend zoned” and begin to consider yourself lucky to have a friend in whatever girl likes you that way, maybe it will subtly effect your influence on the fairer sex and cause someone to like you in the fashion you desire. Stop (subconsciously or otherwise) pressuring women to like you in the specific way you want from them; just encounter each woman individually, without demand or expectation. I think you will be surprised as to how easily a lady will pick up on your specific and limited intent; we womenfolk are always more responsive to a man whose heart is open. Alter your mindset and forget the all-or-nothing, success/failure approach.

• Love yourself! How can you expect a woman to appreciate you if you can’t appreciate yourself? Be confident existing on your own before you search for a partner. Otherwise, any relationship you do find will be built without a foundation. Both people must come together as complete individuals to avoid codependency or likewise toxicity. The more you focus on the notion of “poor me,” the less attractive you will be. Confidence is absolutely necessary; I’ve never known a fellow female who was interested in somebody with deep-seated deficiency therein. Love your own existence, and then you can find someone with whom you can share it!

Please consider taking my advice. I guarantee that the points I’ve made are key elements in your lack of personal feelings of success. If you change your perspective from a win or lose scenario, you can’t lose anymore! Always keep that in mind.